To be really angry and upset to be labelled racist?

[motherlondon]

We are currently on holiday in Asia, the latest place we are staying is a very nice all
Inclusive small resort.

Not cheap, to put in perspective this place cost as much for 3 nights as last place cost for 12 nights, but wanted to end holiday on a lovely high note.

Me and two kids (6 and8). It was a 90 minute boat transfer to get here. We drove for four hours, waited at port for three hours as boat left 90 minutes later than we were told.

I think they bunched two boat departures together. The boat had a small enclosed cabin and one of my kids sat inside, but when we went to go in, realised that there was hardly any room and said we would sit outside, with another family of four (adult kids). The crew told us we would get wet but we said we would sit out anyway.

We got absolutely pounded, just destroyed by water, I lost an earring, my ear is full of water etc.

When we arrived it was all, garlands and welcome drinks, I asked for a towel and said to manager that it was ridiculous and dangerous.

That night at dinner manager asked if I was 'feeling better' and I said again that it wasn't a case of feeling better, but a case of the trip not being appropriate.

Anyway, we got on with our holiday, had an absolutely beautiful day today, and went to pay for some tat that kids got at gift shop. On desk is a report on guests - mr and Mrs so and so, enjoyed snorkelling and food but said service slow etc.

Mine was that I was angry when I arrived, chose to sit outside boat with other WHITE (their use of capitals) family and that although I had toned down by dinner, the manager believes I have a problem with ASIANS.

I am mortified. I have lived and worked all over the world and the very very last thing you could label me is racist.

I feel embarrassed that we have been getting served at dinner, helped in the water etc by staff who've been briefed that I don't like Asians, and also that if I saw the report, what other guests did?

I am sickened and it has seriously upset me, before dinner I was planning when we could come back for longer and now I just want to get out of here.

I have emailed the manager, but am I being unreasonable? To be pissed off about the dangerous boat ride, and then to be embarrassed and sad that I have been labelled a racist?

What should I do?

3WdOnes - and I have done that heaps all over Asia, but when I've paid the appropriate fare and it hasn't been labelled a private resort transfer. Not in Thailand, either

Yanbu. I'd be really angry too. The boat thing is less clear - if it was a safety issue you should have refused to board and complained on that basis.
But the report and accusations of racism?! Wtf? That's disgraceful.

I'm sorry can you clarify did you write you chose to sit with the other white family (capitalIzed or other wise) or not?

Eh? Where is this that the report was written in English? I know it’s used somewhat in India and Sri Lanka that are touristy, but in comms like that?

Erik the note capitalised the word white and insinuated that the OP had problems with Asians. The OP has definitely been labelled racist.

Why should the OP squeeze into an over crowded cabin on a boat provided by an expensive resort which no doubt caters to all nationalities.

Sounds like the person who wrote the note has a giant chip on their shoulder and should find another profession.

OP, I think you're being a bit over-the-top about getting wet. You were warned (maybe not about the full extent of the water) and you could have moved inside.

But the report on you is not acceptable. I would want to speak to whoever wrote that and put a serious complaint in.

Only on MN would you be the one who was unreasonable.

It's clear from the op that the boat left 90 minutes late with too many people on board and I don't think it takes a rocket scientist to work out that they only sat outside because there was no room inside. It's all well and good warning people that they will get wet but what other option did she have.

It's weird and wrong that the resort know exactly what each guest is doing at each moment and to jump to the fact that she wanted to sit with white people only when she had NO CHOICE because of their own actions is just plain rude.

I'm not one for bad reviews normally but I think you need to be writing a Trip Advisor post when you get home and in the meantime try and get hold of some kind of manager.

What would you call someone who only wanted to sit next to WHITES and has a problem with ASIANS (seems to be what the manager wrote, with caps!) He is calling her a racist, Erick. But if you want to be a stickler for the facts I'll tell everyone that you only like whites and have a problem with other races but you won't mind because it really doesn't matter or have any impact on your reputation or what people might hink of you.

I think them keeping a record is their insurance incase you give them a bad review. They must need all the business they can get if its so remote.
I'd be pissed off if it said private transport and I didn't have a seat inside especially if they advise you not to sit outside

O As I said I think they lumped two departures together to save petrol whatever.
Even my 8 year old said that thE number of people on board was 8 more than the maximum number of passengers allowed by signage.

So you only got wet because there was no room in the cabin because the boat was overloaded?
Rather than admit that they caused this problem, they implied that you were the problem, OP?

Mirrivan, thanks, I'm not a Brit, but point noted.

Bluntness - I didn't write anything - that is the hotels report. We didn't choose to sit outside, it was the way the tender unloaded and our two families got off last, my boy squeezed inside and then there was no space left.

Anyway thanks to everyone who can understand I'm upset about the report and being called racist even if I was silly to sit outside.

If they had bunched 2 departures together then they should expect complaints about the limited space but I think as a lot of people have said, I don't think complaining about getting wet is reasonable if warned. Although it does sound like a bit of a communication error with getting a little wet and getting drenched.

It's completely unacceptable and unprofessional however to make their own assumptions on the reasons and label you racist, especially on a report that can be seen by anyone at the desk. I would wait until the Mgr is back and take them aside, explain your reasons for where you sat on the boat & that you're offended they have written the report as they have. Hopefully should be able to resolve it with better communication.

I really don't think you're the one who has to consider your actions on other people though! You're at a luxury resort on holiday and this isn't the kind of service you'd expect.

Baubled - thanks.

rightreckoner they aren't telling anyone - that's the point.

They are telling all the staff in the hotel. Why else do you think it was written down?

YANBU AT ALL!! I would be seriously complaining...

That would make me uncomfortable too OP, YANBU imo.

How long have you got left at the resort?

The OP has every right to be furious and hurt that her character has been so negatively and unjustly maligned.
Personally, I would steal the hotel's bloody book and burn it, and leave a truthful account of her experience on every online review site going..

Erick - of course they are telling everyone - all the staff know our names etc, they don't ask what villa we are in fur charges, they know, and the night we arrived a waiter remarked that we'd had a rough trip here.

WTBE - thanks. We are leaving tomorrow - be sure we will push our way inside the boat and hug every ASIAN we see.

Harry - I like your style

It sounds extremely dangerous on the boat. I would also be angry and upset at being labelled a racist, was this somehow based on you sitting in the open area, even though you couldn’t fit into the cabin? Just bizarre of them to write that, and I wonder if it is to somehow present the seating as your choice , rather than their dangerous over-loading of the boat.
I have no experience of this sort of trip but you do need to talk to the most senior person you can access, about both issues.

Weird responses you've had here OP. YANBU - I would be pretty creeped out to find a holiday resort had made notes on me, especially if they had decided I was racist on zero evidence...although it was possibly a genuine misunderstanding.

Was it one those hydrafoils? Roughest boat journey I have ever had was a hydrafoil in Indonesia - people were vomiting left right and centre. If so, they should never have let you sit outside - downright dangerous.

*misunderstanding/assumption on their part.