To ask, if you or your DH have well off parents, do they support you financially?

[KissHerYouBrilliantFool]

I have recently come across several adults, in their thirties, who are supported financially by well off parents.

One acquaintance has told me that both her parents and her in-laws are millionaires and they both give her and her DH a generous monthly allowance. Her parents bought their house and cars for them. She is a SAHM and her husband runs a hobby-type business that doesn't generate very much money.

It has got me wondering whether lots of people are bankrolled by parents/in laws/other family members.

My parents are pretty affluent. They never gave me a penny, even when I was homeless and hungry.

Lucky them! WC parents in both sides who would give us the shirts if the backs if we needed it but that’s all they have. We earn 10 x what our parents did. My DPs gave me tons of love, endless support, and a live if learning. But quite literally not a penny.

My father has well over 6 figures in the bank,a few houses,boats etc etc...but we get nothing. The kids are lucky to get a £10 voucher at Xmas!

My parents were very well off. My Dad once gave me £1600 to pay for mine and my bf’s flights to Australia. I paid him the entire amount back via direct debit £100 per month.

I have a friend who's father is a millionaire business man. He remarried the same year that her mother died, to a woman he had been having an affair with for a few years while her mum was alive (all came out when her mum was very ill). This is over 10 years ago now, when my friend was in her early 20s, and they haven't really spoken since. He's offered her money in the past, but she doesn't want it.

All parents are baby boomers who are sunning it up in their second homes in Spain, picking up their Winter Fuel Allowances, while their children don't have a pot to piss in. Don't you read mumsnet?

I do have a few friends with rich,
Really rich, parents who have given them money, paid for schools, uni, a house but this money always seems to come with a lot of strings and control. Personally i’m proud of the fact I have always paid my own way and was baffled by the kids at my uni who thought it funny that I had to work full time or were snobby about my background. They had t achieved anything as far as I could see other than being born into wealthier families.

My parents are quite well off and have given us some very generous gifts over the years. Certainly not house purchase territory, but they’ve been incredibly good to us. However, my husband and I both work full time in well-paid jobs so they really do see these as gifts, and not subsidizing our income.

My sister is a different story. My parents bought her house and her car for her, outright. She’s a SAHM, her husband has a part time hobby job, and when her credit card bill arrives, she lets my dad know how much it is and he pays it.

Ridiculous carry-on on both sides.

Parents are very affluent. They treat us to a holiday each summer and buy lots of clothes and toys for the DC. My mum also buys us towels and sheets and household gadgets. So we’re very lucky. We don’t have any practical help as they live abroad, but we’re a small close family, my DC are the only grandchildren.

My mum (widowed) is fairly wealthy. She doesn't 'support' any of us, but will do things like foot the bill when out for dinner. And she did buy me a lovely Ercol sofa I had been coveting, for a house warming gift

She says that it gives her great joy to be able to buy things for/treat her dc and dgc.

I adore her and repay her with my time and love. When she stays with us, she doesn't have to lift a finger.

My parents aren't wealthy, but comfortable. They don't support us in terms of a regular set amount, but in the past they have given us money towards things such as a new car or work on the house.

They have given us money at other times too. The last one was at Christmas (not a Christmas present though) and is in a savings account to be used towards holidays.

They give exactly the same to my brother and family (although the big amounts have been at different times, because they have changed their car and done work on the house at different times to us)

We are very fortunate though that both sets of parents help with childcare, although not a direct financial contribution, it would be costly if they didn't.

My DP has given all three of her DCs large amounts of money at various times, as she has profited a great deal from the property boom. She is delighted to be able to do this, and has a great relationship with all of them which is nothing to do with the financial help.

DH's parents are loaded. They support us indirectly, in that DH came to adult life with a very nice nest-egg that meant he could buy a house. We don't have active cash flow from them because that would entitle them to opinions, which I'm not interested in, also because we're adults. But I am quite conscious that we're comfortable because they set DH up well.

Not in a 'monthly allowance' way, but my grandfather's fairly well off and has arranged for various investments to pay out occasionally to my siblings and me, so we have over the last 20 years or so received a few 5-figure payouts, which have variously gone into deposits or home improvements. Not bankrolling us, but certainly helping us get on the housing ladder and improve our homes.

My parents are wealthy. They do sometimes help us out but very much on thier terms... which is thier right I guess... sometimes it does leave me scratching my head though... they have done things like randomly spent hundreds on my son, then at other times completely forgotten his birthday.... they've spent nearly a grand on a fancy meal out for all of us yet when I lost my hours at work because I fell pregnant and was on zero hours there was one time a Tesco's order couldn't get the money out of my account to be delivered... I rang my dad because it was a matter of a fiver and I couldn't get hold of my partner... and he refused to send me the fiver and spent half an hour shouting at me his heavily pregnant only child.... they are very odd with money I'm pretty sure my mum has a shopping addiction I see her spending more than I'd spend in a year in a day

My mum is loaded (dad died years ago), I have never got anything other than a sum of money for my wedding, and a small contribution to a house deposit (which we paid back) all over 20 years ago when my kind dad was still alive.

Since then nothing, even since being a struggling skint single parent, never got birthday money and DD got a tenner each Christmas and birthday.

I was extremely broke when my DH died (before life insurance came in), could not pay for his funeral yet she never gave me any money to fund said funeral Thankfully I have a seriously kind brother.

Our parents were/are not very well off, but we're/are able to help us out in emergencies.
The only one left is my mam and if it wasn't for her we would have starved with hypothermia this winter.
MiL and FiL helped us when they were alive, and we had a small inheritance which kept us going for several months too.
I hate having to ask my mam for help, but when we need gas, electricity and groceries for the DCs then I do, and God love her, she helps us as much as she can. I don't know what we'd have done without her over the last year or so!

Worked with someone whose in laws bought him and his wife a million pound home. They did insist that he continued to work, she was a SAHM.

DH's parents are quite well-off. I am in the US, where there are tax reasons that many parents give gifts to their adult children (and, sometimes, the spouses of those adult children) in the amount of about $28,000 per year.

We have received very generous gifts from my in-laws, including a new car that cost nearly 10x what I'd ever spent on a car in my life before I met my husband. They have also helped me pay a good portion of my student loan debt, and are paying for a vacation for us this year.

We suspect that in 2020 they intend to give us the full tax-clear gifting amount for a down payment on a home.

We would not DREAM of asking them for these boons, and sometimes feel a bit embarrassed by our good fortune, but my in-laws are giving these things of their own free will. As they have told us, this is money that we would receive from their estate anyhow. This year, we plan to discuss with them a plan to start us slowly investing in additional real estate with their gifts, so that we could have a continuing passive income by the time of our retirement.

It is our absolute good fortune that this is our life. We and our children could never live so comfortably, or so entirely without fear of the future, were it not for their generosity.

I spent decades below or just above the poverty line, without health insurance, treating illnesses at home as best I could with makeshift supplies and walking to work when my car broke down, or pleading with the electric company to keep my lights on a few more days so I could sell something to pay the bill.

I was actually previously married to a man whose parents were just as well-to-do as my current husband's parents. They were very stingy and mean with their money, and it always came with huge strings attached even for relatively small amounts.

I think this is absolutely the reason that my ExH and I did not do very well economically while we were together ... we found jobs, but they were dead-end, and we didn't have the resources to do better or establish real careers. We have taken the resources we've been given and used them to make our work pay off more. We've also used them to give our children a beautiful childhood, which I know my in-laws appreciate (especially since we are taking steps to ensure that we can be similarly generous with our own children in the future).

That's what you really miss out on when you live in poverty: the ability to take a risk. DH and I moved cross-country to a location with better opportunities, and within a year had more than doubled our income. ExH and I could never have made a similar leap, because we'd have never built up the savings to move without fear of being made homeless before we could find suitable jobs.

I think many parents worry that their children will fritter away any resources given to them. But that's really only true if you have an irresponsible child. Responsible people will use even the most generous gifts in a way that will yield as much long-term benefit as possible.

My parents are stupidly well off. Money to the tune of "how do you even spend it?!"
MIL and SFIL also ragingly wealthy, FIL and SMIL less so but still doing well for themselves.

DH and I, theoretically, could be bankrolled by them. I know DDad would do it without hesitating. We prefer to sort ourselves out- we rent in a WC suburb and live almost entirely within our dead average means.

We've borrowed money from my parents a few times (DCat needed emergency surgery and we had no way to afford it) but always repaid promptly. DDad sulks a bit, but understands that it's important to us.

In 2017, DDad and DMum paid for flights for the three of us to the UK (am in Aust) and gave us $4000AUD spending money. We used about $500 of it (mostly in Holland, as it was on an EU-issued bank card, and we had loads of issues with our Australian cards) and bankrolled the rest ourselves.

DMIL and SFIL are less generous with their money, but we don't begrudge them it at all- it's their money, what they do with it is up to them. They bought a houseboat recently, which is pretty cool!

Both sets of parents are quite comfortable, though not so wealthy that their elder years might not use up all their money if they need 24/7 care.

Neither set helps us financially. It never occurred to me that they should. We did briefly consider that we might ask for a loan when we needed some major repair work done on the house, but that would only have been if we just couldn’t find a decent interest rate with a commercial loan.

My parents are well off, and would pay for lots of things were I in contact with them. Every penny would come along with controlling bullshit, manipulation, abuse, and general assholery so I'm not, and haven't been for years.

I am far happier being skint in my poky little housing association flat, having a nice, quiet life with my kids, with no money, but also no insane drama and nonsense.

My parents are well off. They have given both me and my siblings significant amounts over the years (6 figures), pay for school fees, very generous cash birthday presents for DCs.

I certainly don't expect it and have never asked for a penny. They just seem to have no interest in spending their money on themselves, despite us always urging them to go on holidays etc. So I'm very grateful and feel very lucky to have such selfless and generous parents.

My parents are comfortable but not loaded. They are very kind and my mum always brings a big box of food from her garden, home baked stuff, nice local oil etc when they visit (fairly regularly). They love to buy shoes for the kids or pants and socks or swim gear when it’s needed. My dad just got a modest inheritance from my grans estate (£80k ish) and gave my sister and I £5k each which is very welcome as we’ve big buildings work coming up and bad cashflow. No allowance but I know they’d help us in a heartbeat. We are actually probably twice as wealthy as them though but have huge family outgoings at the moment. In any case the greatest gift they gave us financially was our full education with no loans and both sister and I are now good earners.

Nope and nope