To ask, if you or your DH have well off parents, do they support you financially?

[KissHerYouBrilliantFool]

I have recently come across several adults, in their thirties, who are supported financially by well off parents.

One acquaintance has told me that both her parents and her in-laws are millionaires and they both give her and her DH a generous monthly allowance. Her parents bought their house and cars for them. She is a SAHM and her husband runs a hobby-type business that doesn't generate very much money.

It has got me wondering whether lots of people are bankrolled by parents/in laws/other family members.

My parents aren't wealthy, but they are very generous (not just with money, but with time, practical help etc). My dad grew up in real poverty and although we experienced some hardship when we were kids, we were mostly shielded from it. My grandparents helped them out a lot financially when my dad got made redundant and they almost lost their house.

Over the years they paid into decent pensions and made good investments with the money they saved so they are having a comfortable semi-retirement. They gave us £5k towards our wedding and £500 when we moved back to the UK recently. We are very grateful for their kindness, which comes without strings, and try to repay in other kindnesses and by picking up the bill at dinner and when we go down the pub (when my dad lets us!) We would never ask them for money and it can sometimes feel uncomfortable to accept money from them, as DH earns far more than they ever did, but they've said helping us out along the way makes them happy. My DSis, however, who lives quite a chaotic life with significant MH issues has often been bailed out by them and often only calls them to ask for money/favours, which is starting to wear thin.

DH's parents have much more money, but like to control people with gifts/cash. One of the many reasons I no longer have any contact with them.

They don’t support my everyday living I save my own money and pay my own bills. But they do help us out with holidays and stuff like that and my mums always said if you ever get in trouble money wise come to us, don’t take a loan or anything.

I am aware I’m very lucky and I’m very grateful to the help my parents give me. Also because they’ve taught me they except me to work hard and save my own money as well if I expect help.

My parents paid most of my wedding and give generously at birthdays, xmas etc. I could never take a regular sum, I'm a grown woman it wouldn't feel right.

My parents are comfortable, baby boomers and have done very well through a series of good house buying decisions.

They have the attitude that they’d rather give as much to us (myself and my sister) now as humanly possible because it’s when we need it most and they don’t need it themselves. They have a ‘it’s going to be yours anyway, may as well have it when you need it’ attitude to money.

They gave us £20k for the deposit on our first home , about £60k to my sister for the same thing.

We are incredibly grateful for them because without them despite working full time in good jobs, we wouldn’t have a hope in hell of getting on the property ladder.

We got a 250k for our wedding present.

The best gift a parent can give their children is self-sufficiency. I hope it's something we've passed on to our children.

My mum pays £100 a month into my bank account, because it makes her feel better about the fact that my brother (43) still lives at home and is therefore heavily financially subsidised. I stick it in my pension.

Wow it really isnt an equal world is it.

We got a 250k for our wedding present.

The best gift a parent can give their children is self-sufficiency. I hope it's something we've passed on to our children.

But you're not even remotely self-sufficient if you were given quarter of a MILLION pounds, are you @fixWaterwheels - don't be so ridiculous

justkeepswimming No it isn't. We inherited £2k when DP's mum died. But no handouts or physical help either. And believe me as you get older you notice the impact on people's lives of handouts. So many people I know have retired early because of inheritances or large handouts.
But I also know I am still in a much better situation than many people.

Our savings are in an ISA which has a 90 day notice period so they've lent us money when something unexpected has come up and we've paid them back. I don't doubt they would (want to) help out if DH was made redundant or unable to work for any reason. Thankfully that's not been necessary so far!

Both DH and I have wealthy parents. DFiL has been exceedingly generous. My DPs haven't.

In-laws are wealthy, they have between them 10 properties in 3 countries and also a very successful business. They don't give us money personally. They do however have savings accounts for our DC's which they pay money into. So that takes the pressure off of us.

My mum is wealthy but I don't have any contact with her. My dad has a few thousand, he doesn't help us financially but would if we really needed it, more likely to than the in-laws. My brother lost his job a few years back and my dad sent him money for a couple of months.

My parents have given us money in terms of buying us the odd thing for example and spoiling the kids. They aren’t loaded.

Dh’s Parents are a lot more ...... frugal. They are well off . We hve recently got cash from them tbf but it’s because his dad died and obviously we’d rather not have that cash. They have leant us money before eg for car repairs but we’ve paid it back.

PIL are pretty well off but live like paupers. Once every few years when SIL needs something, e.g., a change of car, they will bung her £4-£5k and gift DH the same. This also happened when she got a new conservatory and boiler. So it's only given for things they approve of. DH only ever gets anything if SIL does first. Never the other way round. When she bought a house however she got £10k and DH got nothing because he was 'living in sin' with me!

My in laws are millionaires and once gave us £1,000 for Christmas about 15 years ago, they haven’t really given us or our children anything since! When we got married not so long ago we paid and my mum and dad (not wealthy) insisted on paying 2k towards the wedding. My mum and dad were always helping me in my 20’s when my car exploded etc, always a loan but always given without any grumbling that I should have spare cash!!
My mum and dad did lots for us when children were young despite living 4 hours away, my in laws have not babysat once although they too live 3 hours away. My in laws have no relationship with their grandchildren despite both being retired well before we had children.
It’s life, I’d live mine differently to in laws but there you go, everyone’s different, I’m sure they’ve been happy in their own way.

We probably get between 10 to 15k a year from dh's parents as do his sisters, maybe more as MiL is constantly pushing £100 here, £50 there. Plus they pay to take us all on holiday every year (PiL, SiLx2 and their husbands/kids and us). There have never been any strings attached though.

They also gave us around £50000 for the house and a decent chunk of money on our marriage. Plus a lump sum for the birth of each child for us and money to start the dc's bank accounts with.

My dm isn't anywhere near as well off but she gives the children £100 whenever we go on holiday and constantly picks up bits and pieces for them from various sources. They also contributed to the deposit for our first house.

My parents gave us all private education and contributed to our first house purchase. My in-laws gave us money for our second house purchase. Both sets of parents are wealthy. My in-laws have set up savings for all their grandkids for private school fees

My parents do not, though I know they would if I was in financial difficulties.

My dad is a retired factory supervisor. He was canny with shares & his work pension so has roughly £1600 income a month.

I used to be a full time professional earning similar but lost my job due to developing schizo affective disorder & can only work pt as a care assistant. So my dad very kindly gives me about £400 a month to top up my wages. I also get £90 DLA.

I feel bad not being totally independent but I know dad wouldn't spend the money if he kept it himself.

He also likes to help my sister out with the costs of her car etc although she has quite a high wage he tries to treat us equally.

It's not just money he is generous with, he's painting my bathroom now & gives me lifts.

My mum is quite poor but she also gives me lifts & contributes to the costs of looking after my cat, eg cat food.

I used to think it was important to be independent financially but since working as a care assistant I've realised that if you are older & have money the government will only take it off you for care etc.
It's better to spend it on things you enjoy & on helping out the people you love.

If I have the money then I think I would help my children out financially especially as they seem like creative types

I do have a friend who has very very wealthy in-laws and yes their lives are bank rolled by them. I guess in some ways it makes sense as this way, inheritance tax will certainly be lower and if you have it why not share it with those you love while you are alive. They are good people and are aware that they are lucky and as far as I can tell do not take the piss.

I don't have this problem but I can't complain about my life so no judgement on those who do get help.

Not really. They paid for our education and university and I always worked full time so no need for handouts. I did see we had a bit of cash a few times when my siblings were buying their first place in the 90s and we had bought in 1984 and we paid a bit off the mortgage (we had negative equity and 15% interest rates so it was very helpful at the time and massive childcare bills)

My parents paid off debts my ex had racked up in my name around 2 years ago (£4000ish) but that's because I went round crying as I was suicidal and couldn't see a way out as I was only making minimum payments and not even touching the debt amount. That's the only financial help they've given me since I was 16 (now 25)

DP's parents are millionaires but want to see us succeed and try hard for ourselves so don't help us out by giving us money but do often pay for meals/takeaways if we're with them. I have no doubt that they would willingly help us if we were desperate. But they have made it clear that we will be very well cared for with inheritance in future