To ask, if you or your DH have well off parents, do they support you financially?

[KissHerYouBrilliantFool]

I have recently come across several adults, in their thirties, who are supported financially by well off parents.

One acquaintance has told me that both her parents and her in-laws are millionaires and they both give her and her DH a generous monthly allowance. Her parents bought their house and cars for them. She is a SAHM and her husband runs a hobby-type business that doesn't generate very much money.

It has got me wondering whether lots of people are bankrolled by parents/in laws/other family members.

My DM is wealthy.

She gave me £10,000 recently to help with much needed house rennovations and will buy nice gifts for Xmas/Birthday. My DSis was given £50,000 this year to help buy a house.

No regular donations from her though, and I always insist I pay for lunch/coffee when we meet up.

DH's parents saved carefully over the last 30 years and as a result are now pretty flush in retirement. They helped pay our house deposit and give us about £7000 annually. DH works full time but this money makes a significant difference to us. We are in our early 30s.

Both sets of parents are fairly affluent/comfortable. (Less so when we were growing up, pensions/housing have been kind.)

Both will help happily if asked. Both provided deposits for first properties, DH had to pay his back (less as he is older and property was cheaper) but I didn't. Both have lent considerable sums as bridging loans when buying/selling etc, always repaid. Both have given smaller sums to help on occasion, my mother sometimes slips me a bit for the kids, and pays for my daughter's riding lessons. My dad puts a little monthly into each of their savings accounts.

So we don't get allowances (they're not millionaires) but we know that if we need help it is there, which is a very fortunate position to be in.

DH’s parents are wealthy. They paid for a large chunk of our wedding, gave the whole amount required for a house deposit, and have paid for us to return home from NZ twice. It makes me feel awkward as my parents can not afford to give us anything, but DH doesn’t seem to mind. MIL goes over the top at Christmas and birthdays, but I put my foot down a few years ago and she has reined it in a bit, at least until DD arrived!

We don’t receive a monthly amount but we were gifted a 6 figure sum for a house deposit and are every now and again are gifted a four figure sum.
My friend is much wealthier than her mum and she gives her money every month.

Both sets of parents very comfortably off. My DPs have two buy to let properties, but no pensions, so they rely on them for their income. They don’t give us money but footed most of the bill for our wedding. My DBro and I are both in well paid jobs so don’t need cash from them. My DSis is in a low paid job and they do help her out more which I am fine with.

DH’s parents are also very comfortably off. SIL is in a lower paid job and has struggled at times and they have given her quite a bit of money - eg £20k to help move house etc. Whenever they give SIL any money, they give us the same to even it up. I say that’s silly because we don’t need it but they insist!

Mine didn't though they were generous with gifts, birthday and Christmas etc, good grandparents too; I think their attitude was, when you're adult you look after yourself. They wouldn't have seen us go under.

My mum didn't have great wealth, however she was generous with what she had which was much appreciated.

We decided that, if and when we were in a position to afford, we'd help ours quite freely and we do but I do realise we are fortunate to be able to. Not everyone can. Twenty years or more ago we didn't have had any spare money.

I really wouldn't want mine to go through the hardships that we did, on the contrary what I wish is choices, freedom and lack of worry. There are enough worries in life apart from finances and if husb and I can help, we will. We're not ostentatious about it though, it's private (I trust no-one on here knows me :-) ).

Auntiepatricia, I love your post! It's really heartwarming.

My parents are well off, comparatively. They have helped with the big things - moving house for example - and are super generous paying for meals out, holidays, kids music lessons etc. We are not financially dependant on them but we have a nicer life because of them.
In laws are well off too but don’t give us a penny. DH are I are the “just about managing”

Both me & DH ( 2nd marriage) work in our business and are very comfortable, not millionaires but we don't worry about the bills etc. My parents (I'm an only child) have a lot of disposable income from investment etc, so once a year they will take all 6 of us on holiday ( long haul)
They do help thier GC (4 ) especially my older adult sons who are in low income jobs , they have brought my eldest a house and he pays the mortgage . They would help us if we needed it and when I was younger they did bail me out several times before I met my DH ( I divorced the older boys dad 25 years ago and was very young ) . But more than financial help my mum has been there to help with my family, taking the boys on trips and school pick ups etc . They are absolutely the best parents and im very grateful for everything they do.

Not rich, but comfortable MC parents with significant assets. I would say they've helped with establishing me - they paid my uni fees and accommodation and used an inheritance they received to help with a house deposit (not give the whole thing). But I've worked for my incidentals since the age of 15 and would be ashamed to take money off them for everyday expenses.

Interesting the post about giving money to siblings as they really need it

DH & I both come from comfortably off families, although his was more stable financially. I've always supported myself - spent years saving for house deposit etc before I met DH etc. I've worked bloody hard & am buggered if I'm going to take handouts as an adult when I can save to get things I want.

My sister & BIL OTOH are eye wateringly entitled and expect handouts all the time, despite both working full time & being in their fucking fifties!! Makes me sad they do this. Have little respect for them.

Wow some very generous families on here!

My Dad is reasonably uncomfortable, holidays multiple times a year etc, but probably doesnt think he is compared to some of his friends.

Incredibly mean with money - wont tkae kids out for an ice cream, resents spending 20quid on a birthday present.

We're struggling financially and only time we asked for money was towards an instrument... which he was quite proud that he said no to.

So, my df has quite a bit of money and used to financially help me out when I was at university. The minute I met my dh though he stopped, which is fine but when we've been in particularly difficult situations he's shrugged and said he won't help. He also said he would help pay for our wedding and then pulled out the day before balances were due . Thankfully dh and I had a suspicion and has enough stashed to cover our (modest) nuptials.

My fil isn't flush by any means but he always helps us out. Financially we are quite good, but a lot of our finances are tied up in shares with time constraints. Often he will lend us money and we pay him back.

He also occasionally buys us shopping and things for the kids, we don't ask for this but he helps dh's brother out a lot and so he wants to make it fair.

My dad doesn’t have loads of money but is very generous. He cane from a poor background so used to worry a lot but is more live in the moment now.

Nothing at Uni, but a gift after, meaning I worked hard and worked in the holidays and his money gave me a great start. Has since helped to boost my own house deposit, and gives me some money each month even though we don’t need it. Very generous with grandchildren and his time.

My parents are pretty well off and help if we are struggling. They do not regularly hand out money though. That seems pretty pointless.

My dad is wealthy but I have never had a penny from him. Not that I would expect anything as I have been in work continuously since the day I left education and don't live in the same country.

My parents are comfortable baby boomers. (Butvthey worked in the public sector all their life and saved a lot, voted to remain and have always read the Guardian )

They paid my rent at uni (I paid the fees and cost of living through a loan and part time work) and helped me out with some of my deposit in my first flat. Mum regularly turns up with nice little gifts such as “I saw you needed new sheets in the spare room so got these from John Lewis etc) which are much appreciated. They recently offered us £5k to do the bathroom but DP is a bit proud (and too polite) to take it. They know how much childcare is (both under 4 and in 3 days a week, it’s like a second mortgage) so they are generous with their gifts and put £20 a month into DCs saving accounts.

We repay them in general help, assistance, love, time homemade cards/gifts from the DCs and generally just being nice to each other!

My df is wealthy, he bought me a house when I was a lp with 2dc, paid for sky tv for them, paid my tv licence and regularly gave us money for holidays, he says we'll get it anyway and this way is tax free, he has set up generous trusts for my dc.when my db was diagnosed as terminally ill he gave him 20k to spend on whatever he wanted, he didn't spend it all before he died so it also paid for his funeral. Df thinks it's only money it couldn't buy away the cancer but it certainly made a very difficult time more bearable. What parent wouldn't do that if they can?

I know quite a few people whose parents have bought them houses - which of course is ongoing financial support in a way as it saves them the ongoing cost of rent/mortgage.

I don't know anyone who gets monthly allowances or regular payments from parents (except, say, for one off emergency or large purchases) once they get past student/young adult years.

Not in that way but my dad did pay house/flat purchase deposits for me and other members of our family.

Wow I dont know anyone whose parents bought them a house. Thats a huge boost isnt it! Security, massive financial worry they dont have to worry about, and yes, more support than even then most generouspeople are getting on here if frees up the mortgage amount every single month!!

Not once I was earning more than they were and before then it was more that they would forcefully pay for lunch if we were out (long before DC). But I did inherit c£80k from my DGP and I know DM insisted that should go to me and DSis rather than to her...which made getting a house deposit much easier.

My parents are pretty comfortable but not really wealthy. They guaranteed my mortgage on my first flat when I was in my twenties and helpedme with the deposit, which enabled me to get on the property ladder, and they now occasionally offer to contribute to something for my dc (big school trip etc) but otherwise not any more.

Threads like these often seem to be implying that it's a bad thing that parents help their adult children financially, but I don't see why tbh. If I were wealthy and my adult dc were not, I don't see any reason why I shouldn't help them.

My parents are comfortable in their retirement and have plenty of savings (I've no idea how much but they've always worked and saved hard in an era when that was possible...but that's another thread)
My parents paid for our wedding (they insisted, we covered it and they gave us a cheque for £10000 afterwards) and when we were in a financial mess I broke down in tears as we couldn't miss another mortgage payment and my mum sent me a cheque.
But it's not easy to ask them and I will do anything before having to ask them for money, I have to be beyond desperate! It's a pride thing and I feel that at the ripe old age of 40 + I should be able to sort myself out!

They do help us out a lot but we both work also. DH is FT and I do 3 days.
They gave me my first house deposit (pre DH).
I’m a director of the family business and take benefits in kind eg Bupa, phone and dividends which I use to pay school fees.
My parents themselves pay for holidays (we go on holiday with them), we contribute eg they might buy flights and Villa, we buy car hire and food.
They are generous with presents too, they paid for Lapland for my 40th.