To ask, if you or your DH have well off parents, do they support you financially?

[KissHerYouBrilliantFool]

I have recently come across several adults, in their thirties, who are supported financially by well off parents.

One acquaintance has told me that both her parents and her in-laws are millionaires and they both give her and her DH a generous monthly allowance. Her parents bought their house and cars for them. She is a SAHM and her husband runs a hobby-type business that doesn't generate very much money.

It has got me wondering whether lots of people are bankrolled by parents/in laws/other family members.

Mine are fairly well off. They don't give me any money but I know they would if I asked, no question. This definitely changes the way I have lived my life, I can take more chances, knowing I have a security blanket if I ever needed it.

Mine were well off but once I was an adult they didn't help financially, although I went through some tough times.

My father is wealthy and wouldn't give you the steam of his piss.

No although they've said if we need money in an emergency they'll give it to us. It's a lovely back up but I still tend to use credit cards as I don't like owing individuals money.

Both parents very affluent but not millionaires. Have helped a little but initially and would if we are stuck but now we are affluent they don’t, which is how it should be. We have paid back any loans given to us and I enjoy watching them spend their money. However, if we needed it. They would give to us no question asked

Ddad is very wealthy , he did contribute 3k to my house deposit which was great. Day to day though he's not at all generous, he genuinely can't understand how people are poor and can't cover basic living costs. There was a time when I was financially screwed for 2 months due to new employer messing up my payroll , he wouldn't lend me a penny and assumed I had savings (I don't we work to pay bills with no extras), when I said we didn't he told me to sell stuff like my white kitchen appliances 🤔.

My parents give my brother and me £3k a year. This being the maximum payable in any one tax year to not incur inheritance tax.

Mine have paid their mortgage, have a small amount of savings but are not well off really. However, they have supported us financially during the last 12 months . We are mid thirties, both employed with two small planned for dc but things just went spectacularly wrong and kept going wrong. If my parents hadn't supported us we wouldn't have been able to keep our home (rent), car, nursery places. If my dc ever found themselves in such a position I would absolutely help them.

Most of our friends have relatively wealthy parents and have had help along the way. Most had a lot of help with house deposits, and in a couple of cases, ‘mortgages’ are actually loans from their parents. Moreover, several do get monthly allowances, and lots get things like holidays paid, huge amount of child-related costs (clubs, uniforms etc) funded), even though they are now quite comfortable in their own right.

Both DH’s parents and mine have relatively little. My mum helps in any way she can, but we have largely had to make our way. I think the main difference now is how much risk we can take. Friends know that they can start a business or take time off work, as they have a safety net. We just don’t have that.

My parents are fairly wealthy, although they weren't when I was young. Made a lot in property.
They have supported me, but also encouraged me to work from 14 and I preferred using my own money as I was always pretty independent.

I've got a decent amount myself now, but knowing they would always be behind me if any gamble I took when wrong is a big part of me having money now. If I knew that quitting a job or making a mistake would leave me destitute I think I wouldn't be where I am. So, I can see that the money, even though it wasn't given to me, was really valuable. IYSWIM.

I feel for people who don't have that safety net, and the privilege of security that it brings.

I did also get loans for house deposits. All repaid over time, but it let me get in the ladder when I couldn't have otherwise. I'm very grateful.

My dad is fairly well off in the sense that he doesn't ever need to think about money. He doesn't give me anything, I moved out at 20 and had a child and myself and DP got good jobs and paid for everything ourselves. That said, I will never ever be destitute. I'll never be in a position where I cant pay my bills or have no money for food, because I will always be able to ask and he would help me no questions asked. I feel very fortunate for that. He doesn't just hand out money though, my younger sister benefits more as she's quite happy to just ask him if she's struggling, whereas it makes me slightly uncomfortable.

Oh and my mum doesn't have much money at all but looks after my son 3 days a week for free, she'd be at home with her young kids anyway and works part time, not that that's an excuse not to pay but she refuses to take money for looking after her own family. So about £700 worth of free childcare from her each month. Because she won't take money from me I tend to buy her breakfast out or lunch, and buy a lot of my younger siblings clothes and usually pay for their "main" presents at Xmas or bdays.

Mil is very generous with her money and have given us £25k in the last few years in 3 lumps sums to use as we wish. She says that she would rather us have the money now as dh will inherit it anyway. We have some works ongoing at the moment and mil has tried to give dh £10k but we have declined as we have the money to pay already.
We once asked to borrow £7k for a car. She tried to gift us the money but as we'd asked her, I insisted on paying it back, and we did in full. When we presented her with the last of the money (she wanted paying in £1k cash lumps) she handed it straight back to put in an account for the dc. Both teenage dc have had generous sums from her as well.
Mil is very kind and will give money to any family or friend in need without hesitation.

I know a few, including one couple who have had a huge chunk of mortgage paid off and are currently having a full renovation funded.

My parents are reasonably well off and have never given us a penny. MIL on the other hand, who is far from comfortably off will regularly take her grandchildren to the shops and buy them clothes. She's really selfless.

It's never been an expectation on my part but I do sometimes wonder why my sibling is regularly given money to 'help them out' when they have a similar income to us and SIL's very wealthy parents also regularly buy them holidays. I try not to overthink it as I'm only human and could become bitter if I did.

We're fortunate to have enough income for what we need and some of what we want. We rarely afford holidays but accept that as part of our personal situation.

No, but one of my sibling's ILs are quite comfortably off. They gifted them a deposit for their first house, have paid for holidays, stepped into to pay bills when they have struggled etc.

I don't begrudge it at all - I think they are very lucky but we have our own lives. DH and I do fine on our own and have never had financial help from either set of parents, apart from one occasion where my DF lent me £400 to buy a new mattress because I had a bad back - and I repaid him every month until the debt was clear.

That's not to say that I'd be happy to say 'no' if someone was offering to clear my mortgage!! But IME money comes with strings attached, or at the very least a feeling of being beholden. I like being independent and not having to account to someone on what I do with my money.

My side of the family has money
We havent taken any since I finished my first degree
It is not for me to enjoy, I earn my own and I would never ask

Oh! It would be different if we needed it for housing or food!
But we dont which I am grateful for

depends what you mean by support. Until the dementia kicked in properly, my mum would help me cover costs of major household repairs and rennovations that were needed but never regular money.

My darling in laws are well off, they do not support us but they do in other ways ie spoil my daughter with clothes and presents etc which is quite a weight off us.

I have.lovely in laws, for instance I needed new towels for Xmas my mom in law bought us this humongous bale of 10 towels from marks and sparks. For our birthdays they spoil us, I love body shop she will always buy me a years supply of all my favourites to last me the year and she will give me vouchers to buy myself clothes.

We would never ask for money even though they offer because they help us out in so many different ways. They are just fabulous.

We aren't millionaire level but my parents are quite wealthy. They do help us. I'm an only child and had a very fortunate upbringing however some medical issues mean I can't work full time and so probably don't have the earning potential my dad did. They help us with childcare both by looking after our son. My dad also helps with large purchases, deposits on houses and has said he will buy me an SUV later this year for me and the kids (we have 3). He also pays for holidays for us

I recognise how lucky I am to be in this position and I am very grateful to my parents for everything they do.

My parents are well off. They are very generous, so will often take us out to lunch or treat dd to things we wouldn't be able to afford. They help with the cost of our car because they want us to be able to get out and about. We would struggle to afford it due to both myself and dh having health problems and it makes a huge difference to our lives.

We are very grateful for that bit of help, but don't ask for anything. We pay all our housing and living costs ourselves, everything dd needs. What my parents might add on are luxuries for her that we wouldn't be able to afford, but are not necessities.

PiL are very well off. They make the very occasional generous gift eg dishwasher, contribution towards a decorating bill but day to day no. They have on occasion offered us more substantial suns (c £10,000 towards an extension fi) but we refuse those, as the idea makes me uncomfortable.

This year they are paying for us to join them and the rest of the family at a hotel for a week's holiday for their golden wedding anniversary rather than have us at a nearby campsite, which I can just about cope with as they clearly get huge pleasure in holidaying with all their gc. They say they're paying for BiL and his family too but I suspect this is not true.

DHs parents are comfortable and helped us out a little with deposit for our first rental, towards our house deposit and a bit for our wedding.

If they offered us any money now though I'd turn it down because we are fine financially. Their money helped us get on the housing ladder ( we were £1k short) and I am seriously grateful for that! But i like to pay my own way wherever possible, and we both work very hard!!

My PIL gave us the deposit for our flat and have taken us away a few times since we had children (nice UK holidays).

They’ve offered to pay for a cleaner which I’ve refused (gratefully) as I just don’t think they should pay that for us but as the fog of PND isn’t lifting and I’m completely exhausted I might change my mind on that one!

They’re wonderful generous people and we never take advantage.

A former colleague of mine was. He was a 32 year old man earning an incredibly decent salary as an associate in a prestigious law firm, but he lived for free in a flat his parents owned. In addition they paid all of his household bills, his council tax, his phone bill, credit card bill and his car insurance. I have a feeling he also got an allowance, but I might be misremembering that part.

I don’t want to be a hypocrite because I had help from my parents buying my first home, but as an adult I just can’t imagine being supported to that extent by parents. Especially when you’re more than capable of paying your own way!