To ask, if you or your DH have well off parents, do they support you financially?

[KissHerYouBrilliantFool]

I have recently come across several adults, in their thirties, who are supported financially by well off parents.

One acquaintance has told me that both her parents and her in-laws are millionaires and they both give her and her DH a generous monthly allowance. Her parents bought their house and cars for them. She is a SAHM and her husband runs a hobby-type business that doesn't generate very much money.

It has got me wondering whether lots of people are bankrolled by parents/in laws/other family members.

My parents are relatively well-off and have helped me out over the years. - they allowed me to live rent-free for a few years so I could save for driving lessons, a car and a deposit for a house.

They also gave me £10,000 when I got married.

I find it really interesting how different families behave with money.

My side of family has no money but will happily lend or give what they can eg maybe some sweets for the kids, or pay for a hobby

DH parents, very wealthy, didn't even give us or the kids a Christmas present. Bizzare!

I guess being stingy keeps you wealthy though.

Yes comfortable parents who are generous and not controlling with money.

Helped me with deposit for first flat, acted as a bridging loan between houses (which made moving easier), and I get a cheque on my birthday, which they say is an attempt to even up things they have done for my brothers.

But all financial planning (except first flat) has been done without accounting for any extra (goes into savings).

If I needed money I could ask for it, and I would get it, but I never have. I hope to be able to do the same for my children.

Lol is everyone middle class and/or loaded on mumsnet?
I am not poor but we middle through from month to month, my parents just about kept their heads above water and my grandparents went to school without shoes; I guess generation by generation we are slowly ‘bettering’ ourselves!

Muddle through not middle.

If I needed money I could ask for it, and I would get it, but I never have. I hope to be able to do the same for my children.

Yes, same here. I've never needed to ask my parents for money and I do wonder if that's why they're so generous to some extent. I've never had any money worries but I don't have a particularly high-earning career so maybe they feel like they should treat me sometimes.

Lol is everyone middle class and/or loaded on mumsnet

Well, this thread specifically sought responses from people with well-off parents, so it's hardly shocking that thats who responded

No, they don't.

Lol is everyone middle class and/or loaded on mumsnet?

The thread title specifically asked for people with well-off parents, though...

My parents and in laws are very well off. They bought my first car (it cost around £1k) and paid for my tuition fees (this is when they were around £1000 a year). They also paid for approx 1/4 of our wedding. I don’t receive anything on a regular basis though.
My DH’s parents have given him literally nothing

Fair enough, I didn’t read the title thoroughly.
However my question remains.

DH's DM is very well off, we don't get any support. She even goes to the extent of having the DC's open their expensive Christmas presents at her house so they know it's from her and not Santa.. luckily we do not want a penny from her!

My dad is pretty comfortable, but we get nothing. He doesn't even buy the dc a birthday or christmas present. Let alone me. My mum doesn't have much at all and it's usually us helping her out. Dh parents are fairly well off, but not millionaire rich. They gave us a couple of thousand towards our house move a few years ago, which we are very grateful for (they paid quite a chunk towards sil wedding so gave us the same to help us move). Day to day they don't give us money/pay for anything at all and I wouldn't expect them to.

My parents aren’t wealthy but they are comfortable. If I need anything I know I can ask although I pay them back.

Dh’s parents are very wealthy. His dad is a millionaire many times over and quite frankly wouldn’t piss on dh if he was on fire. He was more then happy to see his family go without rather then spend any of HIS money. Dh will never get over the humiliation of having to go to school with the toes cut off of his too small shoes.

Unsurprisingly mil divorced him (and she divorced him quite well) and she always willing to help if we ever need it. I actually had to stop dh from asking her for money as I found it a bit embarrassing.

I can’t imagine being a grown up how I would be comfortable receiving an allowance from parents. Surely part of being an adult is looking after yourself although obviously helping is different

My dm offers generous contributions towards anything me or my dd need. I accept most of the time. She had no interest in our lives whatsoever for a good fifteen years. It didn't suit her new life to have us around. But now she wants to pretend nothing happened. That's fine. I'll take money from her to do that.

My parents are well off. We are also fairly ok and so we don’t get any money from them but we did receive a large deposit for our house.

They are generous with our children, buying new clothes, trainers etc for them when they take them out every weekend too, but we don’t as such receive any cash from them directly.

My parents have helped us out here and there. They aren't high earners but have invested well and my mother in particular is very money savvy. They often pay for things like our babies nursery etc as a gift. They also paid for our wedding although I have been saving to pay that back and look forward to surprising them! Anyone looking in would think we are spoiled but I think the main thing is we have expected nothing. Everything has been gratefully received but if we had not been given it I wouldn't be thinking I should have if that makes sense!

Dhs family are a lot wealthier but are more showy with money. They have helped us out in the past, not to the extent of my family but we feel their money always comes with strings so we often don't take it.

As a perspective from the other side of the fence, my DH and I are lucky to have had professional careers and good pensions. We don't have extravagant tastes so if we have spare money we enjoy helping out our adult DCs. Sometimes these are short term loans, for house improvements etc, sometimes they are gifts , for weddings, house deposits etc. We could sit on the money and leave it as an inheritance but it gives us pleasure to see the DC getting good use from it when they really need it. They never expect anything or take it for granted but we enjoy offering.

My IL have what their accountant said was more money than they could ever spend. We don't get help from them, apart from when DH was out of work and it was a smalll amount til he found something.

I have no problem with this as we earn and can pay for things, we do rely on mortgaging to sort out our home(s) now and in the past with things like moving to bigger property and releasing equity so increasing the loan amount to which my MIL has a fit )don't tell her anymore!) because we shouldn't be borrowing but they live in a different generation and world where they bought their home for a song, sold it for a small fortune and both had good jobs - that doesn't fit this day and age, so please stop trying g to make us fit into your bloody template of what's right

Yes, my parents do, even though I don't need it. Part of the IHT planning, I guess

My parents are pretty wealthy, they don't routinely give me money but always insist on paying for meals out/ coffee etc unless it's their birthdays and I get to the card machine first!! They also put a lump of money into our house when we moved several years ago.

I know if we needed it they'd give me money at the drop of a hat, but we generally do OK and I'll be honest but I'd rather they didn't anyway ( we already have boundary issues with them- taking money from them would make them act even more like I'm not an adult!!)

Neither of our parents are well off but they are comfortable. They don't support us with any bills but upon moving into our own home, my mother did sit us down and tell us if we ever needed any money for bills or we began to struggle that she was only ever a phone call away. Luckily we've never had to but it's lovely knowing her and my ILs would give us money if it was ever needed.

take them out every weekend
buy kids new trainers etc

So much envy!!

My parents are millionaires (rags to riches story) - and they are so generous and good to me. But even when we were living in poverty (and I mean absolute poverty) they were still so generous, literally would have sacrificed anything for their kids.

DH’s parents are well off, they like to buy practical stuff for us, sturdy footwear, waterproof coats etc. If we were up shit creek, which we have been in the last couple of years, they would help if we specifically asked, but would never offer. I’m not sure why. Any help is on their terms, e.g. interest charged, or offer to allow us to move into one of their properties rather than money towards our mortgage when DH was out of work. Beggars can’t be choosers though, so I do feel grateful to have a safety net even if it isn’t perfect.