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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or is this message odd?

135 replies

Justanothernamechange654 · 13/01/2019 00:16

Name changed as very outing...

Not sure if I'm being sensitive... Long time lurker but a bit miffed by this and would love some other opinions.

Was round at a friend's earlier for a party (left quite late into the evening), had my very active 21 month old with me. In order to avoid any accidents I moved a few small boxes filled with odd bits out of reach. I forgot to put them back. I've now received this message: "thanks for coming. Did you move a few things to get out of reach of (DC)? It was by the window sill and bloody cat knocked them over... hopefully you'll remember to put them back next time please... I forgot also. Cat toys everywhere too."

Oh, 21 month old was also playing with a few of her cats toys... I feel it's unnecessarily aggressive, or is my perception off on this?

Thanks for your thoughts.

OP posts:
pictish · 13/01/2019 00:18

Were there other kids there? Could she be put out that you brought your toddler to her party?

purpleme12 · 13/01/2019 00:19

I think it is uncalled for yes. I mean there's just no need for it is there. Don't sweat the small stuff

WhirlieGigg · 13/01/2019 00:20

She’s annoyed that you made a mess and didn’t clean up. If your DC played with the cat toys you should have tidied them away again and replaced anything else you’d moved. Fair enough you forgot this time, but your friend is NBU to be narked.

ChubRubTheStruggleIsReal · 13/01/2019 00:21

She sounds mean!

BipBop123 · 13/01/2019 00:23

If someone visits us with children I expect to have a clean up once they leave. I think that might be because I have kids myself and know nothing stays tidy with a toddler.

thaegumathteth · 13/01/2019 00:24

Reply

Yes I did sorry didn’t want dd damaging them. Apologies re the cat toys. We’ll wait until dd is a bit older to come round again.

trooth · 13/01/2019 00:24

No friends of mine would bother sending this sort of message. If that's the exact way she worded it, she sounds a bit cold!

Singlenotsingle · 13/01/2019 00:25

Really you should have no to ifidc to he can be too oys up p; but she's being Ott to send do you a snarky message like that.

Singlenotsingle · 13/01/2019 00:26

You should have tidied the toys up, but...

WhatwouldCJdo · 13/01/2019 00:29

Sounds arsey. If it was someone I knew they'd not have to worry about a next time.

StrippingTheVelvet · 13/01/2019 00:29

You shouldn't have moved her stuff without asking- if you had asked then she could of told you to put it somewhere else, not in harms way. Most people would mutter FFS and roll their eyes rather than send a text like that though.

purpleme12 · 13/01/2019 00:29

It is arsey

FevertreeLight · 13/01/2019 00:29

Reply- thanks, we won't be coming round again- so that won't be a problem.

Disquieted1 · 13/01/2019 00:31

Sometimes it is perfectly legitimate to tell someone to Just Fuck Off. This is one of those times.

Jenwiththecurls · 13/01/2019 00:32

Yes it’s odd. Is she odd in other ways?

whatsthepointthen · 13/01/2019 00:32

Is this person my sister? reminded me exactly of the texts she use to send me. Literally when I left she would send me pictures of her house and say “all clean and tidy now” or send me pictures of hand prints my child had left on her mirror with an 🙄 face.

CardsforKittens · 13/01/2019 00:32

When people bring children to my house, I move breakable things in advance. I would not dream of sending a passive aggressive text if I missed something and it broke. Kids are kids. Friends are friends. Stuff is only stuff.

Original poster
Justanothernamechange654 · 13/01/2019 00:32

Thanks everyone!

@pictish she definitely expected me to bring her...

OP posts:
Outnotdown · 13/01/2019 00:33

She sounds like a cow. Mildly irritating to have to clean up but not worthy of a dig like that. She must be perfectHmm

jessstan2 · 13/01/2019 00:33

Most of us wouldn't have said anything, it is a bit mean of her to text you like that. I'd be hurt, let's face it you probably thought it was right to move things out of your baby's reach but it just didn't work out!

Don't dwell on it, please. Little kids do all sorts, your friend should know that and you didn't do anything wrong deliberately. She may well be sorry she sent you that text now, it was a gross overreaction and, frankly, embarrassing.

Flowers Wine

TinselAndKnickers · 13/01/2019 00:33

I mean you could have tidied it but it’s a few bloody cat toys! Veryyyy passive aggressive text.

pictish · 13/01/2019 00:34

Then it’s quite a caustic message.
I’d be taken aback by it.

Tony2 · 13/01/2019 00:34

Seems a bit back to front really. If I'd invited someone with a toddler I'd be apologizing to them for leaving boxes of stuff within reach. And cats play with toys, and you know, move them. Weird

scissorsandpen · 13/01/2019 00:35

Hmmm I think OTT does she have kids ? I don’t think she is unreasonable to feel narked inwardly but to call you out like that is a definet over reaction . Nowt weirder than folk !

BuilderEtiquette · 13/01/2019 00:35

If the incident with DC is a one-off she should have cut you some slack and if the message is a one-off then you should cut her some slack. I’d just text back and apologise. End of. Not worth falling out over!