AIBU or is this message odd?

[Justanothernamechange654]

Name changed as very outing...

Not sure if I'm being sensitive... Long time lurker but a bit miffed by this and would love some other opinions.

Was round at a friend's earlier for a party (left quite late into the evening), had my very active 21 month old with me. In order to avoid any accidents I moved a few small boxes filled with odd bits out of reach. I forgot to put them back. I've now received this message: "thanks for coming. Did you move a few things to get out of reach of (DC)? It was by the window sill and bloody cat knocked them over... hopefully you'll remember to put them back next time please... I forgot also. Cat toys everywhere too."

Oh, 21 month old was also playing with a few of her cats toys... I feel it's unnecessarily aggressive, or is my perception off on this?

Thanks for your thoughts.

They sound like things that would be minor annoyances to notice when your guests had left but it’s OTT to start texting about them, it’s not like your kid shit surreptitiously shit in her oven. Surely she’d just move anything she didn’t want touching the next time you came over.

I think the reply suggested above about brightly saying to leave visits till your dc is older is probably the best one (she sounds like the type to expect an answer).

If you wanted to be a cow you could give a friendly heads up that it looks like you and dc may have a couple of flea bites and she may want to double check her cat. That’d only work if you don’t have pets though but she’d probably spend the next week vacuuming manically...

That's a really twatty message. I wouldn't even send a response at this point. Hopefully she'll realise she's been a dick

She is also pissed off that cat toys have been played with? Really? Jesus, she needs to get a life. I really would not worry about it. That is ridiculous.

Yes message is a bit blunt

Is she usually like this

A friend you know well?

I wouldn’t bother with going around there again, very bad manners to text a guest and complain. Do as pp said send the ‘we won’t come round until she is older’

Thanks everyone, feeling a little better knowing I'm not being sensitive! Definitely not a message I would ever consider sending to a friend, so took me quite by surprise.

I have limited experience with toddlers and I think her text is incredibly petty. Are you sure she's not actually a frenemy?

She wouldn't have to worry in future as I wouldn't be going back.

Actually I think it's really rude regardless, to go to someone house and start moving their things! I can't believe you think this is ok. Surely you should just be supervising your child? I wouldn't dreamif doing that!

Do you have a cat with lots of toys buttercupsanddaisies

Oh for ffs. I’m guessing you moved them so they wouldn’t get damaged. Thoughtful of you, idiotic of them. It’s a party for crying out loud. I’d expect to have to tidy up afterwards. Don’t feel embarrassed OP, it’s a shitty message, let’s hope they had one too many and weren’t thinking clearly.

Message her back and say how sorry you are, that's unforgivable, you hadn't realised, And you won't bring DD another time!

This is a very close friend, I don't think she was upset that I moved the boxes... nothing was broken when the cat knocked it over as it was filled with marbles, staples and other miscellaneous bits... which I can understand would be annoying to tidy up, especially after a party but I don't think it warranted that kind of message.

Jesus Christ what a twat.

Genuinely can't believe there are people saying "I mean, she had a right to be annoyed.." WTF?!

If you're that highly strung you need to not have friends round.

Is it a freakishly tidy house? is she an unusually neurotic woman?

In any case that message is an appalling lapse of manners. I'm embarrassed for her.

I don’t think she meant anything really by the text, i assume she had had a drink?

Grumpy cow! She’s the one with the problem.

It’s petty and shitty.

I don’t think she meant anything really by the text, i assume she had had a drink?

No idea why that poster twice!

I don’t have children. If i’m expecting someone round with young children I try to move anything I don’t want them to get into out of the way. If I missed something and the parent moved it for me i’d appreciate it. I wouldn’t expect the parent then to rearrange my house back to it’s original state before they leave, yes they might mention they’ve moved things, and yes they might offer to help tidy after. But it’s generally just easier to tidy after the little ones have left, so the offers are usually refused.

Next time, as long as it’s not something that will hurt your dc, just let them play with the things - your dc breaking a few things will soon teach your friend the value of you moving things out of the reach of toddlers

Instant reaction is that she's a cheeky cow.
Would she rather her stuff got broken? Or that your DC broke her stuff? Nor just a cheeky cow but a stupid cheeky cow.

Yes that message is arsey. I'd not even bother replying.

I'd reply "yes I moved the box, absolutely full of choking hazards - I'm so glad I noticed them! Would hate to think what could have happened otherwise"
Of course I'd never normally advocate that kind of text but in this case I'd make an exception!

You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life!

This is nothing to do with the box being knocked over.

Does she have DC/want them? Was your DC or you being a parent a significant part of the evening?

Don’t go over again for a bit. She is very angry about something and transferring it.