AIBU or is this message odd?

[Justanothernamechange654]

Name changed as very outing...

Not sure if I'm being sensitive... Long time lurker but a bit miffed by this and would love some other opinions.

Was round at a friend's earlier for a party (left quite late into the evening), had my very active 21 month old with me. In order to avoid any accidents I moved a few small boxes filled with odd bits out of reach. I forgot to put them back. I've now received this message: "thanks for coming. Did you move a few things to get out of reach of (DC)? It was by the window sill and bloody cat knocked them over... hopefully you'll remember to put them back next time please... I forgot also. Cat toys everywhere too."

Oh, 21 month old was also playing with a few of her cats toys... I feel it's unnecessarily aggressive, or is my perception off on this?

Thanks for your thoughts.

It's an unnecessary petty, passive aggressive message. She's got kids of her own so I wonder what she's like with their mess. YANBU.

Is she normally nice? It's a very odd text to send to one of your friends for sure. Has she got something going on in her life to make her react like this? Taking it out on you?

Hmm it’s an arsey message but I’m not buying that you forgot to put stuff back. Anywhere you go with a child that age they get stuff out and you, at the least, have to offer to help tidy before you leave. It’s not like you couldn’t see your child had left cat toys everywhere so how could you ‘forget’?
Is it the first time it’s happened or is your friend sick of you waltzing out leaving your kids mess behind?

But really yukelog would you actually mind if your friend left some cat toys out and forgot to put the boxes back?

I can't even imagine that it would register with me let alone send a snotty text.

Most people who come round to mine don't offer to clear up a few bits and pieces that have been taken out. They wouldn't even know where they went. The only time anyone offered was when both our kids had made an almighty mess for some reason in Dc1's room (made a huge pile of all the toys in the middle of the room). Little bits and bobs around the place is just part of hosting kids. (I wouldn't expect guests to wash up their mug after a cup of tea and a few toys is no worse)

So if your kid makes a mess (with the cat toys) that's your fault for not watching them or tidying up after them. But if her cat makes a mess that's also your fault? Seems reasonable. 🙄

But if her cat makes a mess that's also your fault?
The message doesn't actually blame OP for the cat toys... It blames the cat for knocking the pot over (that OP moved and didn't put back) and for the cat toys. It blames friend for not noticing about the pot. OP is only blamed for not moving the pot back in the first place. And that's fair enough.

Did you reply?!

I’m imagining I’m your friend, I have friends with little kids. I go round making the house child friendly before they arrive but tell them it’s their responsibility to double check I’ve done it right and to move stuff, I’m so paranoid about choking!!

In my house I want everyone to feel welcome and at ease so for me your friend massively unreasonable and I’m not sure she’d be for me tbh x

She's being a twat. Use the Mumsnet standard reply - "Did you mean to be so rude?"

If I were her, I wouldn't say anything personally but there are some people, who are a bit (or a lot) OCD and there is a part of me that does think that if you move stuff around in someone else's home, it's a nice thing to do to put it back the way it was when leaving.