To be fucking raging?

[Januarybringstheblues]

I'm a single parent to dd (4). Her dad isn't on the scene so child-free time is very rare and nights out are even more rare. My dad and his wife got a sofa bed for their house for dd to sleepover when I need a babysitter. So far, this has happened once.

Today I sent my dad a message and asked him if he could have dd overnight while I have a night out for my birthday next month. His response - 'we go out every Saturday'.

They basically go to the local Wetherspoons and do the same mundane thing week in, week out. For ONE NIGHT I'm asking them to do me a favour and lool after their grandchild. One fucking night.

Aibu to be furious?

YANBU

Is there anyone from nursery that would do it? Some staff from ours babysit in the evenings.

I come across this problem all the time. It's shit isn't it, it feels like nobody has your back when you KNOW that you would do it in a heartbeat for somebody else.

You are wrong...
Pay someone, you are asking them to change their plans, you have no idea how much they might enjoy their night out.

Of course you’re being UR to be furious! You are the entitled to their time. You know they have a long-standing arrangement to go out on a Saturday night. It really can’t be a shock that they are sticking to it. I speak as a single parent with no involvement from exp. YABU.

not entitled.

I'm a hands on Nan and have my Grandchildren at least twice a week, overnight (staying at their house).

Even I'd say that you are.

I was an LP (Widowed) and used to have to fit my Birthday night out in around my one babysitter (my Mum).

They are entitled to their life and to catch up with the crowd they drink with.

Are they willing to do the Friday?

Yeah that's fucking selfish honestly. I'd look into someone else to babysit.

I mean it's selfish of them! Its one night.

YABU favours are discretionary.

To be fair as above you could reply and say "ok no problem what about Friday instead"

Why do you think you have the right to demand they do what you want?

You are unreasonable. They are entitled to lives of their own. Will they babysit on another night?

To be fair as above you could reply and say "ok no problem what about Friday instead"

This

Yabu really unreasonable. I can’t believe your attitude tbh. They have no obligation to babysit esp when they already have plans. Why can’t you make plans for a different evening and if they’re feeling generous they may babysit for you again

Ask them if they can do Friday night instead

Yes, fair enough I'm asking them to change their plans but it's for one night of the year. If he can't do that for his daughter/granddaughter then what is the meaning of family? He knows that I've been ill (mentally) for a while and that I'm desperate for some time to myself - they both gave me some bullshit speech on how they would help in whatever way they could, and got that bed for their house.

He's always been the most selfish twat I've ever known. I don't know why I'm so surprised.

As others have said I'd reply with "ok no problem, Friday?"

You don't get to demand that they change their plans for you. Your DD isn't their responsibility. And I say that as someone who was LP for 5 years with nobody around to help. Either pay someone to watch her or don't go out.

If it’s just Saturdays off limits can you ask for a Friday or another night? If it’s a couple of weeks away there’s time to arrange something.

Ultimately though it would be better to have a baby sitter. If your dd is relatively well behaved and no problems with bedtime/sleeping is there an older teenager you’re connected to?

I hate selfish grandparents. They'd be the first to cause bloody murder if you said they couldn't see her but they won't even help you have one night off.

Yes it's UR to expect it but they are being selfish pricks in not giving up one saturday night to mind their own grandchild, especially so their own daughter can have a well needed break.

Any grandparents on here who are like that and try to justify it - you can't. You're a selfish prick who clearly forgot how hard and relentless it can be.

I can totally understand your point, of course you’d hope they would miss one night out so you can celebrate your birthday. I’d be so disappointed with that response. As per previous poster, could you do a Friday instead?
You could always say to your dad that you’re a bit gutted and it’s your birthday and is there anyway they could change their plans just that one weekend.
Hope you find a solution

My dad goes out every Friday night with his pals. I wouldn’t ask him to babysit on that night as that’s his routine. I ask him to babysit on a Saturday instead. So YABU

Your child is noone else's responsibility, so I'd say you are being unreasonable by expecting your parents to watch your little one.

Although I do understand that someone would be irritated by this.

Pay for a babysitter, and go enjoy yourself