To be fucking raging?

[Januarybringstheblues]

I'm a single parent to dd (4). Her dad isn't on the scene so child-free time is very rare and nights out are even more rare. My dad and his wife got a sofa bed for their house for dd to sleepover when I need a babysitter. So far, this has happened once.

Today I sent my dad a message and asked him if he could have dd overnight while I have a night out for my birthday next month. His response - 'we go out every Saturday'.

They basically go to the local Wetherspoons and do the same mundane thing week in, week out. For ONE NIGHT I'm asking them to do me a favour and lool after their grandchild. One fucking night.

Aibu to be furious?

Why do single mums expect to be treated differently ?

Yanbu. A night out to give you a break on your birthday is not a huge ask of a parent. I'm sure you'd do it in a heartbeat for your child in the future, which is why it's so hard for you to get your head round. Yes, they're entitled to their lives, their plans etc etc. However, It's only one night to give his daughter a break on her birthday. I think it's off, cold and pretty hurtful tbh.

Re Port1ajazz

Why do single mums expect to be treated differently ?

She is on her own with the child as Dad is not on the scene, therefore she would welcome a little 'me' time. Thought her own father would have been a bit more caring in respect of this. Most parents care about their adult children and still want to help if they can.

Her father isnt responsible for her being a single parent , if she wants help having a little " me " time she can't expect all around her to change their plans so she can do what she wants when she wants ! I'm sick of these people not just single mums , choosing a lifestyle then expect everyone to do their bidding to enable them to do so !

OP I don’t think you’re BU

Ffs portajazz way over the top!
Expecting everyone to change everything for them? It's her birthday and she's asked ONCE. In response to her father making a big deal saying he would help more and getting a sofa bed.
I know so many grandparents who have their grandkids every weekend yet the op like me gets told to fuck off on the one time they do ask for help. Ridiculous

Omg, she only has 1 birthday a year. That is hardly expecting all around her to change their plans.

I agree it is not her father's fault she is a single parent, she would probably have loved to be in a couple relationship but that is not the issue. Most parents and grandparents I know, myself included , are happy to help out and spend time with their grandchildren

I said I'd prioritise my husband, my life partner after years of him coming 5th in line
It’s one fucking night. If your husband was decent he’d be telling you to help your child out so she can go out with her friends on her birthday.

Yanbu, I really felt the pain in your post OP. I've had a similar experience myself and had to have counselling to deal with all the emotions and memories it threw up.

Her father isnt responsible for her being a single parent , if she wants help having a little " me " time she can't expect all around her to change their plans so she can do what she wants when she wants ! I'm sick of these people not just single mums , choosing a lifestyle then expect everyone to do their bidding to enable them to do so

Didn’t anyone ever tell you that not all attention is good attention?

But the OP has just come out of a relationship so hardly like she's had no me time or nights out as she was dating.

For many having children makes them feel entitled to demand free childcare and then to spit their dummies out when others take exception to that. So many go into parenthood with their eyes closed. Children need caring for and providing for, an alien concept for many who expect others to share their responsibilities.

YABU. If he doesn't want to change his plans he doesn't have to. Its annoying but its free childcare he's offering so you have no right to be "fucking raging"

I don't think the OP is coming back somehow.

Think your attitude to them is very out of order!
Just because their outings serm pointless to you, you have no right to undermine them, you need to grow up !!

OP I’m sorry you had a bit of a hard time on this thread. I just popped back to say, come post on lone parents anytime too.

And seriously, YADNBU. I have to travel sometimes for work. Last time my parents had my son the whole time (78 hours) and everyone (particularly them) thought this was normal!

So to raise your child with so little family support.. I am seriously in awe of you, because it’s amazing.

And I really hope you can go out

I am also amazed at some of the comments on here. So many saying Op has bad attitude about her father not babysitting. I can’t belueve how heartless you all are.

For me I cannot imagine my dad saying no in this scenario! If I was a single mum with literally no time to myself and desperate to live a little and asking for a favour to just have one night out for my birthday (which is ONCE a year) I would be just as upset. She’s not being entitled, it’s not that grandparents owe you any baby sitting and it’s not their ‘duty’ to look after grandchildren but it’s their daughter asking for some help! I would hope that when I’m a grandmother I’d do anything to help my daughter whether she’s all grown up or not! Being a parent doesn’t all end at 18 does it?
You are not being unreasonable Op.

Change your day or find a neighbours teen to do it. My next door neighbours teen is out every night babysitting. She has a waiting list!