To be fucking raging?

[Januarybringstheblues]

I'm a single parent to dd (4). Her dad isn't on the scene so child-free time is very rare and nights out are even more rare. My dad and his wife got a sofa bed for their house for dd to sleepover when I need a babysitter. So far, this has happened once.

Today I sent my dad a message and asked him if he could have dd overnight while I have a night out for my birthday next month. His response - 'we go out every Saturday'.

They basically go to the local Wetherspoons and do the same mundane thing week in, week out. For ONE NIGHT I'm asking them to do me a favour and lool after their grandchild. One fucking night.

Aibu to be furious?

Ah, op, I think you're letting your anger post. What you're writing isn't ok. It really doesn't matter if you feel there Saturday night arrangement is mundane or they should drop it for you at your request, they are entitled to their lives and you're coming across as an immature entitled brat.

It comes across that you've set yourself up knowing this would be the outcome, so you can kick off like this. If you know someone has plans then you ask them about the six nights of the week that they're not busy, not the one they are.

immature entitled brat - if only you knew the person I actually am.

Op, so cut your nose off and spite your face. Don’t ask him to babysit any other night and cut off your relationship of that makes you feel any better.

My dads a great dad and grandfather. But I wouldn’t ask him to babysit on a Friday as that is his night out and I respect that.

Op- bluntness was very clear that you are "coming across as " she did not say that was the person you are. And this reaction to her post is telling....

I do understand why you would be put out and hurt that your dad has refused to change his Saturday night plans just for this one special occasion, but YABU to be so furious. You could agree to a Friday night instead, of arrange to have a party at your place.

And what are you doing with your post if not seeking attention, clevertoo?

If they just go down the local Weatherspoons it's a shame they can't miss it one time to give you a night out. I do think it's quite selfish (although obviously they're not obliged to do you any favours). Maybe try to find a reliable teenager or another mum who would do babysitters favours for in return.

You knew he was busy. Doesn't matter whether you think his regular engagement is worthy or not. He is busy every Saturday. You are now refusing to ask for any other day. Probably cause you know he'll say yes to the Friday. Feels like you want to cause a row really.

@clevertoo

They're usually written by people who are stressed and coping with a lot. For example single parents with no help. Why not show a little empathy instead of writing nasty, pointless comments.

OP don't take the bate. There are some people who have a vested interest in stoking your anger for their entertainment. That's not to say that people can't disagree with you, but using emotive language like calling you a 'brat' is so unnecessary.

I'm afraid you will just have to take comfort that the selfish gene hasn't been passed to you and know that when you're dd asks you for help in the future you won't only oblige if it's at your convenience.

@Januarybringstheblues I'm totally on your side here I'd be raging with you don't let these keyboard warriors get to you

And why people are judging because he "just" goes to Wetherspoons I don't know. Sometimes that weekly catch up with certain friends can just keep you going. He has a regular commitment and that is what it is. Go out on the Friday OP and don't cut your nose off to spite your face

We’ve never had family help, everyone makes excuses. So we pay a teenager £10ph on eveningsfor date nights. Would love a whole night though!

It's her FATHER and she's a single parent asking for a nights babysitting on her birthday. Either 90% of mumsnet are deliberately goady, hard of thinking or just nasty.

well, I think the OP is being reasonable.

my mum , in the past, would have done a 3hr train journey to help me out like this on a special occasion.

They are hardly doing anything that they can't do any other night- why not Wetherspoons on a Friday?

I can't imagine being so mean to my DCs that I'd not help them out on their birthday. If I had a one-off social engagement that I really couldn't miss, that would be different.
But a routine night out? Nope.

You are being incredibly unreasonable and awfully entitled.

Why on earth can you not arrange a babysitter? It takes 3 secs to google and find ones in your area?!

Your dad should be able to have your DD when it suits HIM as well as you. How dare you turn your nose up to how he wishes to spend his saturday evenings with his other half!!! Its clearly something he loves doing!

All the unqualified teens advertising for babysitting near me are all asking foe minimum £10.50 per hour, minimum 3 hours. Extra for extra kids. Babysitting is unaffordable, and not affordable for everyone, and not everyone has random teens on hand to look after children for next to nothing.

And by a 3hr train journey I mean she'd have come and stayed overnight for a few days to make it worth the trip.

Well, as you're staying in for your birthday now, you can get a few bottles and invite some friends to come and share them instead.

It is a bit shitty but you shouldnt be raging. Get alternative arrangements sorted.