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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Argument with neighbour AIBU

204 replies

SoundsExciting · 09/01/2019 20:29

Hi all!
I live in a small block of flats and neighbours are not really chatty towards each other but rather civilised. The majority rents and I am a home owner. In the past, the flat not directly below me (lets call Flat X) had some problems with a leak and I opened my door maybe 2 or 3 times for the lady who lives there to check if the problem was coming from my flat - which was not.

In another situation someone from their TV licence came along and asked to use my balcony to fix something. Nothing major and I did not mind opening my door for them in any of those situations.

However, last week I snapped off my keys to enter the building and still haven't got time to get a new one. I will be doing this tomorrow morning. My husband also needs new keys but usually I buzz him in or he uses the fire scape door.

Today afternoon I buzzed some flats randomly just so I could get inside the building and someone buzzed me in. Then neighbour from flat X open his door and asks if it was me buzzing. I said "yes, thank you so much my keys are broken...". He then tells me in a not friendly manner to "never buzz his door again" and he would "not open anymore because its been for days" quite aggressively (not to mention rude). I came home as I was carrying my chid but decided to leave and confront him so I knocked at his door.

I asked to speak to his wife (as I dealt with her in the past reading the leak) and asked how many times I opened my door for her. She said "only twice" and her husband then said I should apologise for buzzing his door, for knocking at his door and that I have been waking their children up for days. I must mention that I broke my keys on Thursday morning and we were away for the weekend returning this Monday. Since then, I have being at home and my husband been to work but I was always able to open the front door for him so I doubt he's been waking up their children once let alone "for days".

So I asked her to never knock on my door again and if she has any problem should speak to her landlord or the management.

She then said her landlord would knock my door down which I responded saying that "your landlord would need to think twice before doing so because I own my place and I am also a [insert here my profession]". Her husband interrupted me asking if I was threatening them and for me to watch my language.

I explained that was not a threat and I was referring to their landlord knocking my door down. Pasting this subject they moved on to "you should apologise because it is annoying when you buzz" and I said I would not assist them again like I had in the past - and pointed out that I did not mind as we are neighbours and everybody can have an emergency. They said they would never have a "key emergency".

All this confrontation because of a key. I honestly do not think I was wrong in buzzing - it was the first time I ever did to be honest. My husband has been living here for over 10 years and never had any problem. I have been living here for 5 years and not had a single problem until now.

I would not mind opening a front door - specially because you do not need to get out of your flat to do that, you just need to press the telephone.

I also must point out that sometimes the postman buzzes any door just to get inside the building and use our mail box for large deliveries. Counteless times I buzzed him in with someone else's parcel.

AIBU or are my neighbours right? Of course you can do whatever you want to your own buzzer but please be reasonable - would you not open for a neighbour if its before 5:30pm?

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 09/01/2019 20:33

You own your place and you're a insert job? So bloody what? You are being a total nuisance. Why didn't you get news keys immediately? Yabu and you know it.

UhUhUhDennis · 09/01/2019 20:34

I think YABU get the key sorted.

I think they are unreasonable for making a big deal about it too though but if it was me is be thinking ffs get a new key!!

Also YABU to use your job in an argument 🙄 sounds like you need to move to a house in a naice area.

Blanca87 · 09/01/2019 20:35

They are throbbing bellends.

Tartsamazeballs · 09/01/2019 20:36

Yeh you're being unreasonable. It would piss me off to have to keep getting up for the buzzer- it's intrusive and annoying. Just fix your keys.

Going and having a row with them was a dick move. You're not better than them for owning rather renting, fwiw.

cowfacemonkey · 09/01/2019 20:36

You’ve had a week to sort out new keys just get on with it.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 09/01/2019 20:37

Actually I can kind of see their point. It takes 5 minutes to get a key cut and yet a week after breaking yours you are still resorting to buzzing neighbours properties whom you admit your not on neighbourly terms with.

I also do not see why you felt the need to bring your job or the fact you own and they don't into the situation, its not at all relevant and truthfully it just makes you sounds like a twat.

cowfacemonkey · 09/01/2019 20:38

And going back to knock and argue some more (and drag his wife into it) was a dick move

MaggieFS · 09/01/2019 20:41

YANBU for perhaps 36 hours but a week is taking the mick. Now YABU but so are they.

Nicknacky · 09/01/2019 20:41

You have annoyed the neighbours then you disturbed them even more by going to their door and confronting them? I would have told you to fuck off.

cheesywotnots · 09/01/2019 20:42

It's all a bit unpleasant and unnecessary, no one cares if you own or rent and your job is irrelevant. Just get some new keys cut and have a spare set somewhere safe.

Sparklesocks · 09/01/2019 20:42

It sounds like a simple way to stop escalation would’ve been to thank them and then apologise for the inconvenience. Doubling down, refusing to answer the door to them again and bragging about owning and being a (job) is really childish - are you really surprised that escalated things?

Darkautumn · 09/01/2019 20:43

YABU and immature.

IndianaMoleWoman · 09/01/2019 20:44

YABU. And spectacularly arrogant to think you have the right to disturb your neighbours repeatedly for days and then argue with them when they (rightly) complain. Get a new key FFS!

Lana1234 · 09/01/2019 20:44

Yabu “I’m sorry for disturbing you and waking the children” would have done. Bringing your profession into it is another level of ridiculous

Youshallnotpass · 09/01/2019 20:45

I’d have told you to fuck off frankly, get your key sorted YABU

Bunnica15 · 09/01/2019 20:46

She only done it once?? Why is everyone making out it was a continuous thing? One time she buzzed someone other than her husband to let her in.

SoundsExciting · 09/01/2019 20:46

Just to clarify:

I have not sorted my keys before because they broke just before we went away so had no time to do it immediately.

Also I have not been buzzing since then - I only buzzed once. However I have opened my door for this neighbour and their tv licence and other situations ie postman for like over 5 times?

Ok I understand about mentioning my profession - but this was because the wife said their landlord would knock my door down. But I see your point.

And we always had a good relationship. Not friends but polite.

OP posts:
SummerStrong · 09/01/2019 20:46

You buzzed them and woke their children, what a nuisance.

You actually knocked on their door to have an argument with them? Wow

Lol at 'I own my flat' and dropping in your profession (I'm actually cringing for you)

Also, were you swearing at them?

YABVU

PuppyMonkey · 09/01/2019 20:48

“"your landlord would need to think twice before doing so because I own my place and I am also a [insert here my profession]".Grin Grin

OP, you should have just apologised and go and get your key sorted.

PinkFluffyFairy · 09/01/2019 20:48

What job do u have? Grin

CluedoAddict · 09/01/2019 20:48

Yabu you should have sorted out your key days ago. It is very annoying to buzz and disturb other flats.

OneStepSideways · 09/01/2019 20:48

They have kids and you've been buzzing in the evening, waking them up! Can you not see how intrusive and annoying that is?

Very different to buzzing/knocking occasionally in the daytime (unless you have a baby/toddler napping).

I don't mind neighbours knocking in the day or the postman buzzing, but in the evening with sleeping kids it's a nuisance. I expect they're trying to cook/relax/bath kids too and don't want to jump up to let you in.

You should always keep a spare key, or at least have a set of keys each, to avoid this scenario. And get a replacement immediately.

Bambamber · 09/01/2019 20:48

What did you hope to achieve by confronting the.? That just escalated things unnecessarily. You should have just got your keys sorted, they should have just been polite, and you should have just left it at that. You were all unreasonable. Oh using your job and the fact you own rather than rent just seems really pretentious

NotACleverName · 09/01/2019 20:49

Are you 12 years old? YABU and childish to throw in your job.

Nicknacky · 09/01/2019 20:50

It doesn’t matter to your neighbour that you were away for the weekend. Not their problem.

So don’t buzz anyone in for them if that makes you feel better.

And I’m embarrassed for you that you mentioned you are a home owner and whatever your job is, that’s done deliberately to make them feel inferior to them and that wasn’t right.