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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Argument with neighbour AIBU

204 replies

SoundsExciting · 09/01/2019 20:29

Hi all!
I live in a small block of flats and neighbours are not really chatty towards each other but rather civilised. The majority rents and I am a home owner. In the past, the flat not directly below me (lets call Flat X) had some problems with a leak and I opened my door maybe 2 or 3 times for the lady who lives there to check if the problem was coming from my flat - which was not.

In another situation someone from their TV licence came along and asked to use my balcony to fix something. Nothing major and I did not mind opening my door for them in any of those situations.

However, last week I snapped off my keys to enter the building and still haven't got time to get a new one. I will be doing this tomorrow morning. My husband also needs new keys but usually I buzz him in or he uses the fire scape door.

Today afternoon I buzzed some flats randomly just so I could get inside the building and someone buzzed me in. Then neighbour from flat X open his door and asks if it was me buzzing. I said "yes, thank you so much my keys are broken...". He then tells me in a not friendly manner to "never buzz his door again" and he would "not open anymore because its been for days" quite aggressively (not to mention rude). I came home as I was carrying my chid but decided to leave and confront him so I knocked at his door.

I asked to speak to his wife (as I dealt with her in the past reading the leak) and asked how many times I opened my door for her. She said "only twice" and her husband then said I should apologise for buzzing his door, for knocking at his door and that I have been waking their children up for days. I must mention that I broke my keys on Thursday morning and we were away for the weekend returning this Monday. Since then, I have being at home and my husband been to work but I was always able to open the front door for him so I doubt he's been waking up their children once let alone "for days".

So I asked her to never knock on my door again and if she has any problem should speak to her landlord or the management.

She then said her landlord would knock my door down which I responded saying that "your landlord would need to think twice before doing so because I own my place and I am also a [insert here my profession]". Her husband interrupted me asking if I was threatening them and for me to watch my language.

I explained that was not a threat and I was referring to their landlord knocking my door down. Pasting this subject they moved on to "you should apologise because it is annoying when you buzz" and I said I would not assist them again like I had in the past - and pointed out that I did not mind as we are neighbours and everybody can have an emergency. They said they would never have a "key emergency".

All this confrontation because of a key. I honestly do not think I was wrong in buzzing - it was the first time I ever did to be honest. My husband has been living here for over 10 years and never had any problem. I have been living here for 5 years and not had a single problem until now.

I would not mind opening a front door - specially because you do not need to get out of your flat to do that, you just need to press the telephone.

I also must point out that sometimes the postman buzzes any door just to get inside the building and use our mail box for large deliveries. Counteless times I buzzed him in with someone else's parcel.

AIBU or are my neighbours right? Of course you can do whatever you want to your own buzzer but please be reasonable - would you not open for a neighbour if its before 5:30pm?

OP posts:
ratspeaker · 10/01/2019 15:38

Maybe they'd not been paying their tv licence and you've dobbed them in it by allowing access?
But I dont see why tv licencing would want to come to your flat for a neighbour not paying.
You sure it was tv , did they show ID? Sure its not someone scoping out security for your flats?

BitOutOfPractice · 10/01/2019 15:53

I think the OP is an international hired assassin.

OP you've made yourself sound so childish with your "if you won't do this, I won't do that" stuff.

You are probably the eleventh person that day that's buzzed and he's got fed up because it is annoying

SoundsExciting · 10/01/2019 16:08

*Peachesandcream30 Thu 10-Jan-19 14:02:04
Are you guys all mental? She buzzed on her neighbours door once at 5pm after having been civil and courteous allowing people into her flat to help them out? If I had helped out my neighbours and thought we were on good terms then I'd think it was fine to ring their bell literally one time.

They were rude and yeah maybe she didn't help things but are you all a bunch of doormats? Would you tolerate someone being unnecessarily ride and aggressive to you when you were holding your child, after you have been inconvenienced by them many times but not ever said an angry? I'd have given them a piece of my mind to.*

This ^^

If he had only told me to not buzz again I would of course apologise and end of the story. But he came to the front door aggressively just to tell me to never buzz again. I doubt anyone would take this on the chin in real life, especially when you were apologetic, grateful and had open my door so many times for them in the past.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 10/01/2019 16:13

OP how did you get in after your holiday with no functioning keys?
And how do you get in through a fire exit?

SoundsExciting · 10/01/2019 16:18

and btw, he mentioned my husband disturbing them (not true).

I wonder why he did not confront my husband before. Why wait for me?

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 10/01/2019 16:22

He didn't "wait" for you, you were presumably the last in a long line of people who had wanted buzzing in (all of which he assumed were your household)

Carnivaloftheanimals · 10/01/2019 16:31

That's possibly the problem. Several people without their key buzzing his door to let him in. I think that would annoy anyone, although he could have handled it better.

MissLadyM · 10/01/2019 16:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TinyElm · 10/01/2019 16:54

Yes YABU and annoying. I live in the same set up as you, and I had a chap buzz our flat yesterday (once! Only once!!!! Hmm ) because he wanted his mate downstairs and his mate was listening to his music too loudly to hear his own buzzer. I was holding my sleeping baby and it woke her up to go and talk to this random guy on the buzzer that's nothing to do with me. Even though that neighbours only done it to me once (well his mate), it was still very annoying if it wakes up your child.

However we're on friendly and good terms with all the neighbours in our block (even though we own our flat and shock horror they all rent), so I wouldn't complain to them about it. Knocking on your neighbours door to argue was a shockingly arsey thing to do. Maybe you should try being friendly with your neighbours instead of thinking you're better than them and acting like a tool.

CocoCharlie83 · 10/01/2019 16:56

This reply has been deleted

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purpleelk · 10/01/2019 17:44

“I wonder why he did not confront my husband before. Why wait for me?”

What, wait for you in his living room minding his own business until you pound on his door and demand to speak to his wife?

SlowNorris · 10/01/2019 17:59

This place is getting weirder and nastier every day.

She buzzed a neighbour to be let in the building. Why on earth does that deserve such awful responses?

They sound like shitty neighbours, OP. Lesson learned, don’t bother helping them in future.

GalacticChickenShit · 10/01/2019 18:08

@SoundsExciting

Why are you not answering any of the questions?

As you are a new poster, I'll advise you that it's often a pattern behaviour of a 'troll' to post something that gets a strong reaction from people, then disappears, only to pop in from time to time to make random snippets of comments and thanking those who 'agree' with them, without addressing the questions being asked.
Just making you aware of this, as I'm sure you wouldn't want any users to think you were one of those.

Biancadelriosback · 10/01/2019 18:11

Tbf, usually the buzzers in these places can be canny loud! I could always hear all my neighboura. Perhaps they were just sick of hearing you all buzz each other and that was disturbing them. The solution really would have been to get keys sorted when your DH lost his ...

NoFucksImAQueen · 10/01/2019 18:11

the job thing sounds bad but I imagine it was something like "well our landlord will force you to let us in"
"good luck trying as I own my property (therefore no landlord to "make me" let you in) and I'm also a soliciter" (so know my rights)

ivykaty44 · 10/01/2019 18:16

Now you know that they are not willing to give, only take.

Do t bother with them again

Ethel80 · 10/01/2019 18:24

I don't think you were unreasonable for buzzing once at all but you should have got a key sorted earlier. Your neighbour does sound like a dick but have we had the full story?
I find it hard to believe that your husband has never had to use the buzzer if he doesn't have keys, maybe he's pissed them off and you've taken the brunt?

As for the home ownership/job bullshit, I'd have laughed in your face. You sound like a massive snob. Maybe if you don't like living around renters you should move to a house.

I also wouldn't become obstructive with access as that will just mark you out as being petty and difficult.

JellyBears · 10/01/2019 18:30

I don’t think you were unreasonable buzzing, But you were unreasonable to go all guns blazing starting an argument and trying to put them down by saying your a homeowner and have some magical profession....

I suspect there are people in your building regularly buzzing in, etc and you were the last straw even tho it was only once he’s probably had it all the time!

And I live alone and someone buzzed my door at 2am scared me half to death.!!

Imissgmichael · 10/01/2019 18:52

I’m with the OP on this one. Don’t do them any favours. If the management company or anyone else wants access to your home on their behalf, let them write to you to make an appointment at your convenience.

I’d also contact their LL with regards their comment on knocking your door down. I doubt they’d be pleased.

Villanellesproudmum · 10/01/2019 19:09

He didn’t wait for you, you rung the buzzer for them to answer. Anyway he was goady and you was spoiling for a verbal fight and came across as arrogant it was never going to end well and you must have expected that when you decided to enter yourself back into the situation by choice. So you’re both being a pain in the arse.

Bunnyfuller · 10/01/2019 19:18

Wow. She’s still defend8ng it.

ItsQuietTime · 10/01/2019 19:25

@Kikipost

"I remember the post from a previous thread
She works in a community centre "

🤣🤣🤣

Bunnyfuller · 10/01/2019 19:31

I am freaking scared. I bet that really put the neighbour in their place.

SpongeBobJudgeyPants · 10/01/2019 19:43

She's got another neighbour to agree with her, and about two people on here, with her snobby reactionary position, so she's ignoring the haterz now. Nothing we say is going to make any difference, predictably.

hiddeneverythin · 10/01/2019 20:47

Please please please don't tell me that you are a police officer. It's the only job I can think of that you would have said that in relation to. It makes you look really silly.

Wrt the buzzing - if it was a one off YANBU and letting you in was the neighbourly thing to do.

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