Argument with neighbour AIBU

[SoundsExciting]

Hi all!
I live in a small block of flats and neighbours are not really chatty towards each other but rather civilised. The majority rents and I am a home owner. In the past, the flat not directly below me (lets call Flat X) had some problems with a leak and I opened my door maybe 2 or 3 times for the lady who lives there to check if the problem was coming from my flat - which was not.

In another situation someone from their TV licence came along and asked to use my balcony to fix something. Nothing major and I did not mind opening my door for them in any of those situations.

However, last week I snapped off my keys to enter the building and still haven't got time to get a new one. I will be doing this tomorrow morning. My husband also needs new keys but usually I buzz him in or he uses the fire scape door.

Today afternoon I buzzed some flats randomly just so I could get inside the building and someone buzzed me in. Then neighbour from flat X open his door and asks if it was me buzzing. I said "yes, thank you so much my keys are broken...". He then tells me in a not friendly manner to "never buzz his door again" and he would "not open anymore because its been for days" quite aggressively (not to mention rude). I came home as I was carrying my chid but decided to leave and confront him so I knocked at his door.

I asked to speak to his wife (as I dealt with her in the past reading the leak) and asked how many times I opened my door for her. She said "only twice" and her husband then said I should apologise for buzzing his door, for knocking at his door and that I have been waking their children up for days. I must mention that I broke my keys on Thursday morning and we were away for the weekend returning this Monday. Since then, I have being at home and my husband been to work but I was always able to open the front door for him so I doubt he's been waking up their children once let alone "for days".

So I asked her to never knock on my door again and if she has any problem should speak to her landlord or the management.

She then said her landlord would knock my door down which I responded saying that "your landlord would need to think twice before doing so because I own my place and I am also a [insert here my profession]". Her husband interrupted me asking if I was threatening them and for me to watch my language.

I explained that was not a threat and I was referring to their landlord knocking my door down. Pasting this subject they moved on to "you should apologise because it is annoying when you buzz" and I said I would not assist them again like I had in the past - and pointed out that I did not mind as we are neighbours and everybody can have an emergency. They said they would never have a "key emergency".

All this confrontation because of a key. I honestly do not think I was wrong in buzzing - it was the first time I ever did to be honest. My husband has been living here for over 10 years and never had any problem. I have been living here for 5 years and not had a single problem until now.

I would not mind opening a front door - specially because you do not need to get out of your flat to do that, you just need to press the telephone.

I also must point out that sometimes the postman buzzes any door just to get inside the building and use our mail box for large deliveries. Counteless times I buzzed him in with someone else's parcel.

AIBU or are my neighbours right? Of course you can do whatever you want to your own buzzer but please be reasonable - would you not open for a neighbour if its before 5:30pm?

This thread is such a shame. One, I suppose, has to consider the other person's point of view before jumping to conclusions.

For example when I was younger, with babe in arms, an elderly neighbour was aggressive because I parked on a public road outside his house. When I apologised he said he'd tell his wife who, it emerged in negotiation, had died 10 years earlier.

Things may not be what appears on the surface and we can not judge others by our own criteria.

No one comes out of this well!

@GalacticChickenShit

😂😂 no wonder the neighbours thought it was a threat

It took me half an hour to have a spare key cut for my eldest son to have for our house. Why does it take you so long. I think there's at least a couple places in my small town. You could have done it sooner and that would have saved you from being a pest. When you get them cut tomorrow cut a spare one for each of you so you avoid this happening again.

Fudge me you sound like hard work.

I wouldn't do them any more favours.

BlueEyedBengal

A pest for buzzing ONCE since I lived here?Ow! What a nuisance.

YANBU! Buzzing a neighbour's doorbell once and apologising is no big deal. The more pleasant people are to neighbours the better, he was arsey from the get go.

All parties involved acted immaturely and rudely.

You should have just said sorry and dropped it after the initial incident rather than create and feed the drama. Then just quietly refused them any favours in the future.

Guessing OP is in law enforcement or solicitor or low level council job of some sort. Quite unprofessional to bring your job into it.

I think the OPs job is an “onion picker.” The thought of her throwing that into the argument makes it sound even more ridiculous!

Well if you have involved another neighbour and they agree with you then you MUST be right eh!

But how are you going to get a key cut when neither of you have a key to copy from?

What is your profession? Its its to do with law I could understand. Otherwise I don't see the relevance. Does your flat not have a communal access button that opens the door before a certain time. Ours is around 5pm then you need someone to buzz you in. Most times the postman uses that one.

So you did them several favours by openjng doors and allowing sudden random access, didn't moan.

They do you one, once letting you in, and moan and threaten to get your door kicked in? Fuck them. Icy polite and no fabours now. No more buzzing either obviously.

YANBU as he sounded very immature and threatening with the Landlord comment. Surely the OP is pointing out a fact to the neighbors that she does not have the same Landlord or any Landlord so them busting down the door would be a criminal act.

He said he’dheard You buzzing a lot. You either did it more often or it is loud enough to be heard in other flats
Getting keys cut takes 5 minutes. Were you on a secret government mission that was highly time constrained, so much so that you couldn’t do get a key before going away?
You said the kids were older and you wouldn’t expect them to be in bed by 5. Why not stop on the way home to get a key cut?
Your lack of organisation is not their problem to put up with.
And if you waved working for the police in their face I hope PSD get to hear of it.
You may own your flat, you don’t however own any spelling, grammar or manners it would seem. Or keys.

I understand it’s just once but it’s really annoying. When I lived in my flat we had a call entry system but you couldn’t just buzz in. You had to physically go and let the person in. Numerous times my neighbours would lose their fobs and buzz me, sometimes at stupid o’clock in the morning. I’d never open it though. I was really far from the main door.
Maybe he wanted to make sure he nipped it in the bud before it became a regular thing? Maybe he had in fact let the postman and /or delivery people in and was sick.
Your key will be replaced tomorrow. At least you know where you both stand.

But how are the neighbours demonstrating any manners when they effectively threatened her with the Landlord breaking the door down?

File this incident away for when you're asked to do something, allow access etc.. You maybe didn't handle it as well as you might but I'd make sure they were sorry in the future!

Pink I reckon cage fighter.

Howling

People say a lot of silly things when they get irritated. Buzzing random flats! Nice!

I’m also confused - did OP say she was carrying her child? And then left him to confront neighbour? So a child young enough to be carried is left while mum goes to have a barney?

And also, re-reading the OP said she’d been at home apart from the trip away - get bloody out and get keys cut FFS!

Hadn’t had time=couldn’t be arsed

Well exactly, that's why the OP pointed out the Landlord was irrelevant to her as she was irritated by their selfishness.

Do you think your husband has been buzzing and they got annoyed as they are (possibly quite reasonably) counting you as one entity?

And why on earth does your husband not have keys either? Surely the minute one of you didn't have keys you'd get a replacement cut? I get the weekend thing, but you seem to have got into a position where neither of you have keys, which I find baffling.

I wouldn't let someone who buzzed in, no, not unless I was absolutely certain it was a neighbour. Letting in all and sundry who buzz your flat is a security risk. And your husband using the fire door instead of keys is possibly both a security and a fire risk. That should be closed for a reason.

Needing access to a neighboring unit to complete maintenance is not you being nice, it is a basic necessity of multi-unit dwellings.
Not getting your keys replaced is just inconsiderate. Even having to buzz in your spouse is probably creating more noise than a regular resident entering.

YABU

You were home before 5.30, so why didn't you stop off and get a key cut today? Or Yesterday? Or on the way back from your weekend away? There is no excuse for not getting keys sorted asap. Last time I needed keys cutting I went to Timpsons and was in and out with 3 keys in less than 5 minutes.

Your husband should not be using the fire escape as an access door - that is a huge safety and security issue, especially if he is leaving the door unsecured so he can gain access. If I lived in your building I would be reporting that to the building/site manager.

Also, you said you were buzzing random flats, which sounds like you just kept pressing buzzers until one was answered which is is awful manners. When I used to live in an apartment building and needed to be let into the building usually when I locked myself out when taking rubbish out when I heard the bin wagon it was courtesy for you to buzz your floor neighbours first (as they were most likely to know/recognize you and therefore buzz you into the building) and then only bother other neighbours if nobody answered.

Additionally it sounds like you didn't actually interact with your neighbour over the intercom which won't have helped. "Hi its from Flat 2B. Sorry to disturb you but could you possibly buzz me in to the building, I don't have my key? Thanks so much!" would probably have done wonders for goodwill towards you.