To ask for a good comeback to "Oh you're from the Philippines! We have the most lovely Filipino maid/nanny/cleaner"

[Kalimotxo]

I'm from the Philippines, been living in the UK for 10 years, have a postgraduate degree in STEM, work in a large corporate business, earn £150k pa.

Not sure if I should take offence when people find out where I'm from, and the first thing they say is how they have (or had) the most wonderful Filipino nanny, maid or cleaner.

One of the people I got this type of comment from was the head of my department, at the end of a job interview (I got the job). I only smiled as felt I couldn't say anything back.

WhileI have complete admiration for Filipinas working in any field including caring and cleaning, I don't have anything to do with them at all. I don't know any maids, I don't have family who work as one of them (they are lawyers, doctors, teachers, businessmen back in the Philippines).

Do people with a Polish background get the same kind of comments? Or Latinas living in the US? Is it a racist or rude comment, even if the person saying it genuinely likes their help?

Look blankly at them.

‘That’s nice. Do you know the queen?’

How nice for you, our English cleaner is amazing. Couldn't run the household without her 😊

Don’t see an issue here

I wouldn’t look on it as an insult, they’re just trying to make a (very hackneyed) connection.

I get the same when people find out my husband is East Asian.

‘Oh I love Chinese food.’

Nice. But he’s not Chinese.

I get similar shit in his country. ‘My cousin is American’, ‘I love pancakes’ or ‘I went to France once’ or whatever. Ok but I’m British so...? Not exactly the same as no class element but there’s not much to be done about it.

I get that it is shit but I would just say ‘oh ok’ and move on. If you get to know them better you could say something.

Pugwash1's comment is excellent

What pugwash said is the best response I think. I'd never thought of this before but I'm not surprised. A few years ago an acquaintance posted to our group chat looking for work for 'my lovely Filipina'. She couldn't understand why I thought it was off.

"I don't think I would know them, since we work in such different fields....... also there's 100 million of us"

"oh yes I know your cleaner - we were at school together"
And when they say "wow really" say
"Yes every single person in the Philippines knows each other. We are very tight knit"
(And see if they notice that you are being sarcastic)

They're just stating a fact and making conversation

If you want to be offended by it, you'll probably have to think up your own 'comeback'.

Being kind, they are probably being welcoming (albeit badly), trying to make a connection. "You're from Wales? How lovely, my dad's cousin's neighbour adopted a cat from Wales."

But it is very reductive and stereo-typing. If they mean well, smile and grit your teeth. Hopefully you can address it another time.

If they mean to put you down, then call them out on it. You don't have to be rude, but you should be plain: "That's a very old stereotype. It should be obvious that the Philippines has a vast range of people and professions -you knob-."

Happens with all nationalities. Try being Irish in USA lol. No I don't know your 3rd cousin 3 times removed from Dublin!!

Tricky one, OP. I doubt that they’re all being racist. I think it’s just that social thing of trying to find a link to establish friendly contact.
For example, when I meet Polish people I usually mention how much I enjoyed visiting Krakow. They often groan and say that’s the only bit most English people know!
As few Brits will have been to the Philippines, they won’t have a holiday link to talk about, and I’d guess for many of them the only Filipina they know is someone in a domestic staff role. They’re not necessarily suggesting that you must also be an unskilled service worker.
Maybe keep an open mind until you see where the conversation goes next - if it’s a lot of snobby put downs, you have your answer! If it just moves on to how you like the U.K., or asking about your family, job, etc, then it was probably harmless.

The professional class Mexicans I know in the US can get this. It often comes with unpleasant undertones though and it doesn't sound as though people are being negative in your case?
The people I know who have had Filipina staff have always been very positive about them and the commenters may well think they are being positive about the only link they have with your country. Some people may be being passive aggressive with you it is impossible to tell over the Internet but should be easier to judge tone in RL.
You can either talk about your own families experiences of being helped by other Filipinas, if you are all professionals I am guessing that you must have some. Or talk about some other aspect of your country. Or as previous poster has said talk about English help that you have received.

I think you're being a bit chippy.

This happens to everyone. When they realise my dp is Australian they list every Australian they've ever known, or mention neighbours, or ask if he's met Kylie Minogue.

It's only offensive if it's a lie surely - if their maid isn't from the Philippines and they're saying it to sneer or belittle, hardly the case with someone interviewing you for a £150k pa job surely?

IWent, same here with Irish family living in UK

I've never taken offence because it's all well intended.

However, the OP could well cause offence to Filipinas who don't earn 150k pa and whose families aren't all lawyers, doctors, teachers, businessmen, because she (imo) comes across as a bit 'above them' in her eyes.

Brits get this all the time in the US, however this doesn’t have the pejorative overtones of what the OP has said. It’s false equivalency and daft to say it. It’s like a black person being told by a white person that ‘they have the most lovely black cleaner.’ Yes. It’s bloody rude. I’d find it really hard to not swear at them, but people are stupid and white folks (or majority population folks more accurately) sometimes don’t think. No excuse. But I’d suggest taking the high ground, smiling and saying, ‘oh I need a cleaner/nanny/whatever. Do you think they have any client availability. I work long hours and don’t get the time.

Just reply, “that’s nice for you,” and smile copiously ‘til the conversation naturally changes.

In S.E Asia, there are many, many, many excellent nannies. It’s amazing walking through HK Central on a Sunday morning. Too to to most music bands. Some nationalities are highly represented in some industries.

Same for Building workers in Little India on a Friday night in Singapore. I was amazed ‘cause of the large numbers of men, no alcohol and not feeling threatened.

People look for patterns to combat the chaos of daily life; please forgive them their discretions.

I would have looked at them blankly with raised eyebrow and said And?...

If it's innocent their reply would be something like, oh she would be happy to meet up with someone from her home country

If it's not innocent and they are making stereotypes then just shake your head, tell them.they are unbelievably offensive and walk away from them

Suggest ask them if they have ever visited the Philippines. I've visited and I enjoyed my holiday, exploring and scuba diving. The people were very friendly too. I have found that some people have preconceptions of what people are like and what countries are like without ever met or been there !

Secondly, I know a holiday is not the same as living in a country, but at least I have visited and I understand a bit more about the history and culture now.

I had a a Brazilian friend who said a lot of peoples’ response to her telling them she came from Brazil was “oh, where the nuts come from”. There’s no answer to that!

I’d definitely go with this one:

Pugwash1

How nice for you, our English cleaner is amazing. Couldn't run the household without her😊

Maybe something like 'Yes, obviously cleaning and nursing is most Brits' experience of people from the Philippines'.

Then you're sort of politely saying it's a stereotype without overt accusations of racism.

I get what you mean - it's very reductive isn't it. And arf at you being called chippy for acknowledging it.