To ask for a good comeback to "Oh you're from the Philippines! We have the most lovely Filipino maid/nanny/cleaner"

[Kalimotxo]

I'm from the Philippines, been living in the UK for 10 years, have a postgraduate degree in STEM, work in a large corporate business, earn £150k pa.

Not sure if I should take offence when people find out where I'm from, and the first thing they say is how they have (or had) the most wonderful Filipino nanny, maid or cleaner.

One of the people I got this type of comment from was the head of my department, at the end of a job interview (I got the job). I only smiled as felt I couldn't say anything back.

WhileI have complete admiration for Filipinas working in any field including caring and cleaning, I don't have anything to do with them at all. I don't know any maids, I don't have family who work as one of them (they are lawyers, doctors, teachers, businessmen back in the Philippines).

Do people with a Polish background get the same kind of comments? Or Latinas living in the US? Is it a racist or rude comment, even if the person saying it genuinely likes their help?

It isn't chippy. People are showing their unconcious bias- they associate one thing (Filipino)with another (cleaner) and verbalise it.

The best I ever heard was a woman meeting her son's new girlfriend, who was black.

She said "my friend has just got a new kitten. The kitten is black as well."

There was a stunned silence!

So much white fragility on this thread.

OP, YANBU. I say go with Pugwash's comeback.

OP, would you feel the same if someone said “I have a Filipino solicitor”?

I am black. My personal favourite is:

Them: where are you from?
Me: umm east London
Them: no where are you REALLY from?
Me: I was born in east London
Them: no you know what I mean...ACTUALLY from?

I have fun with it...sometimes...I help (do you mean my parents?) sometimes the answer is more graphic🤨

I know it's hard not to be offended OP but I really think that most people are trying to make a connection, not be insulting towards you. It's the one thing that pops into their heads and they are thinking of some wonderful person who has really helped (or still helps) them. I also think that being a cleaner/nanny doesn't have bad connotations.

Wonton, there is no stereotype about Filipino solicitors, so it's not really the same.

*The best I ever heard was a woman meeting her son's new girlfriend, who was black.

She said "my friend has just got a new kitten. The kitten is black as well."*

I just spat my tea at this...😂

"People are showing their unconcious bias- they associate one thing (Filipino)with another (cleaner) and verbalise it."

Or they're telling you about the only other person they've ever met from the Philippines.

"Are you a maid?" or "I thought most people from that country were in the service industry" would be offensive.

For me this all depends on tone of the person I am speaking to. I can usually tell whether the person is trying to make conversation/common ground “my doctor/newsagent” or verging on or actually racist “so are you a newsagent or a doctor?” The second has often followed a discussion about where I’m really from. The person thinks I couldn’t possibly have been born in North East England.

bold fail

Sorry, but I think this is an example of where someone is just looking for a reason to be offended.

If somebody knows someone who is Filipino, it’s just a coincidence they do those kind of jobs.

When I meet someone, I take an interest in their background and culture. I have a lovely Spanish friend from Madrid. If I meet someone else Spanish I might mention it.

I used to work with a lot of different nationalities at a warehouse, if I meet someone from one of their countries, I might say “I used to work with a lady from Norway at the warehouse...”

I think you’re just sensitive.

That's it Juells , that's Ireland! I'd most likely have happily entered into the conversation with her from the off! :) It's definitely making a connection OP. I've met a lovely Chinese American woman recently, from the same city as my cousins; that was my first comment to her! It's trying to find a common ground.

A child I taught once referred to 'My Filipino' ... Not ok and v different.

A friend of mine from The Philippines opened her own boutique and was very successful. Worked her arse off and built it up from a position of having very little. We met when I was in her shop and a pair of vile customers were muttering under their breath about her being a 'Thai Bride'.

She narrowed her eyes and pouted at them, and loudly said:

"Yeaaahhhhh, me Thai Bride. Me come take your husbands away"

Loved her from that minute onwards.

I think this will amuse you, op....

@juells

We had the same experience in Greece. People said “ you must meet Fiona who works in X company, she is from Scotland too”.

Met Fiona, joked about how all the Greeks think we must know each other. 5 mins later we have discovered her best friend plays sport with my son.

It’s true, we do all know each other .

So much white fragility on this thread.

consolidateyourloins What does this even mean??

How do you know we are white? I (and possibly others on this thread) have encountered real racism which is why I don't find this worth getting worked up over.

Of course it's bloody obvious why it's offensive to presume someone from another race is automatically associated with a service role. It's called stereotyping. It involves someone from a different ethnicity too so really amazed people seem oblivious to why it's offensive .

Some really fragile people here unfairly attacking the OP for taking offence to a stereotype. She has gone out of her way to say she respects those in such roles but woe before her for taking offence to ignorance.

Pugwashs comment is best. I also think a simple "we're not all maids or nannies" might suffice.

I have worked as cleaner in the past, being insulted by it being suggested that some of your fellow countrywomen have been doing this job excellently for people you know is pretty snobby.
I can see that if this is the only link you are getting from others to your home country this must seem pretty reductive but it is based in fact. Trying to make links with other humans is normal, as a Scot in the US I can get all sorts of stuff stated about my home country but it is well meant.

It is not racist because they are referring to a nationality.

It must be annoying, most people are probably (really badly) trying to complement your fellow countrymen and women and make a connection.

You tell them they are lazy shits for having a maid.

Not sure if I should take offence when people find out where I'm from, and the first thing they say is how they have (or had) the most wonderful Filipino nanny, maid or cleaner.

They probably don't know too many Filipinos. Are they not, in a clumsy way, simply trying to signal that their experiences so far with your country people have been very positive?

No doubt if their orthodontist or cardio thoracic surgeon was Filipino, they'd probably be telling you how great he/she is too. Would that grind your gears too or is reductive good when it pertains to high status professions?

I remember Obama recalling how a restaurant diner dropped keys in his hands when he waiting outside a restaurant.

The diner presumed he was the car valet.

He was only a God damn United States senator at the time.

Julis that's brilliant- small world!

You just never know who your talking to.

They're trying to make pleasant conversation.
Your post sounds quite braggy actually.

If you're feeling spiteful...

"Oh that's nice, makes a change from the mail order brides most people mention"

"Really? Was she legal? because human trafficking is an issue..."

I wonder if Polish businessmen get "Oh we had the loveliest Polish car washer the other day". Probably not, as it would be a bit cringey.

It’s true, we do all know each other

Mortifying! 🤣