To ask for a good comeback to "Oh you're from the Philippines! We have the most lovely Filipino maid/nanny/cleaner"

[Kalimotxo]

I'm from the Philippines, been living in the UK for 10 years, have a postgraduate degree in STEM, work in a large corporate business, earn £150k pa.

Not sure if I should take offence when people find out where I'm from, and the first thing they say is how they have (or had) the most wonderful Filipino nanny, maid or cleaner.

One of the people I got this type of comment from was the head of my department, at the end of a job interview (I got the job). I only smiled as felt I couldn't say anything back.

WhileI have complete admiration for Filipinas working in any field including caring and cleaning, I don't have anything to do with them at all. I don't know any maids, I don't have family who work as one of them (they are lawyers, doctors, teachers, businessmen back in the Philippines).

Do people with a Polish background get the same kind of comments? Or Latinas living in the US? Is it a racist or rude comment, even if the person saying it genuinely likes their help?

Whilst most of the people probably aren’t being intentionally racist, it is racist and I’d definitley take offence if I heard this said in front of me.

I imagine people are just trying to make conversation or a connection but that doesn’t make it not offensive.

Aren't they just trying to find common ground? I don't know anyone from the Philippines but if I did and they happened to be a housekeeper I would mention it and probably whereabouts they're from. As it is, my closest experience is an ex who has worked there on occasion so I might mention that. Try being from Birmingham as I am and have everyone laugh and launch into exaggerated "Brum" accents . Extremely tiresome.

Loved Pugwashes one! How nice for you, our English cleaner is amazing. Couldn't run the household without her 😊

It sounds like someone just trying to make conversation with you. I would find this hard to get annoyed about. If you make any sarcastic comment back you risk coming across like you believe knowing maids and cleaners (etc) is beneath you.

LOLZ

I just think it's human nature to find common ground.

You say you're from the Philippines, they rack their brain for anything and everything they know about the Philippines. If that fact happens to be that they once employed someone from the Philippines, so be it.

It's nothing like saying you once employed a black person, as pp have suggested.

I do think OP's perception is mildly offensive - 'I don't know any maids'. What does their job have to do with anything? You originate from the same country, that's the common ground, regardless of employment. Would it be offensive to you if they said they were under the care of an excellent surgeon from the Philippines?

If I'm abroad and someone makes reference to knowing, say, a British lawyer I wouldn't raise an eyebrow and think 'why are they telling me this, I don't know any lawyers.'

Sorry I was being sarcastic about the spam

“Try being from Birmingham as I am and have everyone laugh and launch into exaggerated "Brum" accents”

Yes people from Birmingham definitely have a rough time compared to SE Asians. Something must be done about the awful discrimination you face daily.

I really don't see how this is at all racist and, to be honest, I find it more snobby from your part (sorry!) that you don't want to be associated with other people from your country who you see as inferior.

People just try to find common ground. I live abroad and often get "where are you from? Oh, my sister went there for a weekend 5 years ago!" because it's the connection they find to make conversation.

OP, it may be a fact of life that the only person from the Philippines that most people in the UK know is a domestic worker. I'm sure if their lovely doctor or child's teacher were from there they'd say the same.

If you get arsey with them you may feel it's a personal win but you will probably be seen as unpleasant and standoffish. Much nicer to assume people are just being friendly and making conversation.

"We can't all be brain surgeons."

They’re just making conversation. They’re talking about the only knowledge they have of Filipinos in an effort to make a connection with you. If they said something like “oh I thought all Filipinos were maids/nannys/cleaners that’d be racist.”

But it sounds like you think you’re better than maids/nannys/ cleaners - that IS offensive.

You sound snobby. They’re just making a connection, being friendly etc. You’re reading too much into it.

I grew up in a country where the vast majority of people from the Philippines were indeed maids, cleaners and nannies, and worked for families like mine. I wouldn't dream of citing one of these individuals to Philippino/a person in this country because to me it feels like I'm saying "I associate people from your country with staff".

I get where you're coming from OP; smile politely and ignore.

I like the Spotted Zebra's response. A more oblique one might be "Yes, such a big country isn't it?"

I suspect much of the time people intend no malice by it, but are just so comfortable in their view of the world that it really doesn't occur to them how ridiculous it is (and that it is at heart founded in a world view that they would be uncomfortable with if they had to consciously and clearly acknowledge it).

@IAmAlwaysLikeThis not sure where I said that? Can you point me to it? Honestly MN can be be so tiresomely po-faced and desperate to find offence at times. Read my post. I don't agree that people are trying to be offensive when they mention House Keepers to the OP. Personally as a domestic worker myself I don't see anything offensive about housekeepers, from the Philippines, Birmingham or anywhere else. By mentioning the piss taking of my city of origin I too was trying to find common ground with the OP.

Personally I think the OP sounds like rather a snob. Why should housekeepers, cleaners or nannies not be mentioned in case it causes offence? OP clearly looks down on those of "lower" employment status as a significant amount of other posts on this thread. It's MN though so no surprises there.

Haha I once phoned a sales office in England (I'm in Dublin) and the woman who answered was very chatty.

"Oh, you're Irish! I have an Irish friend."
"That's nice. I'm in Dublin and I was wondering..."
"My friend lives in Dublin!"
"Does she? As I was saying..."
"What part of Dublin are you in?"
"Dun Laoghaire"

"She lives in Dun Laoghaire as well! Maybe you know her?"
"Not very likely."
"Wherabouts in DL are you?"
"B......."
"That's where she is as well! She drives a yellow volks."

Look out window, yellow volks two houses down 🤣 Have never been able to take offence at people assuming I know everyone in Ireland since then 🤣

I was a nanny years ago and most of the nanny's I knew were Filipino. They were some of the most dedicated hardworking people I've met. I don't see this as racist. There's nothing wrong with being a nanny or house cleaner and the fact the person is praising them shows they are good at their job. I think they are just searching for a connection. I don't know the way you speak about them sounds rather elitist. My response to them would probably be to ask where they are from? Then comment on it being a nice area or something. I don't know why it's offensive.

"WhileI have complete admiration for Filipinas working in any field including caring and cleaning,
I don't have anything to do with them at all. I don't know any maids, I don't have family who work as one of them (they are lawyers, doctors, teachers, businessmen back in the Philippines)."

@Juells I love that!! lol

You want a come back OP? How about "oh really, whereabouts in The Philippines is he/she from/what's her name/have you know him/her long etc?"

A perfectly acceptable response to someone trying to find common ground with you by mentioning someone they know from your country of origin; if you're not a massive snob that is...

People are trying to be friendly, if rather unhelpfully.

Don't take it to heart. As it happens, the English abroad are known increasingly as a provider of nannies and butlers.

I don't think they're trying to compare you to a cleaner - I think they're complimenting you on where you're from, and trying to find common ground.

I get this a lot being East Asian. People are generally never satisfied with my response of where I'm from and it runs a bit like this:

Then: Where are you from?
Me: Town that I live in.
Them: I mean where did you grow up?
Me: Town in outer London.
Them: Oh, I mean where were you born?
Me: European country I was born in.
Them: Where are your parents from?
Me: East Asian country.
Them: A distant relation of theirs went to East Asian country as part of their work.

Conversation ends.

I do get that people are trying to make conversation with you but why not accept my first response and have a conversation about that rather than a place I have little connection with?

Sorry op, no idea about replies other than "How nice" but again, you risk appearing snobby.

You could say 'well we're not all lovely. I for example I like to take offence at people's attempts at pleasant conversation'.