To reclaim an unwanted gift?

[PersonaNonGarter]

For Christmas, we gave DH’s 6yo niece a Lego Friends set (£20) and a nice top (£18). Both bought in advance, non-returnable.

At a family lunch at MIL’s today, BIL returned the Lego set to DH saying DN doesn’t like it and ‘could we exchange it because she doesn’t like Lego Friends’. DH was a bit confused —had forgotten what he’d given— but mumbled something about getting back to BIL. BIL left. The Lego is at MIL’s.

Can we take the Lego back? It’s non-returnable and I’ll give it to someone who wants it. DH thinks we should leave it at MIL’s or send it back to BIL. Who is right?

Any store who stock the Lego set will take it back assuming that the box is Undamaged.

They won't refund but I would expect an exchange it's a standard, sealed branded product

BIL is an arse though

How fucking rude.

I wouldn’t exchange, hang on to it for another gifting opportunity.

As in he is wrong to say she doesn't like it so we don't want it.

I see no problem with someone saying 'thank you for the Lego, DD has this set already, do you mind swapping it?'
Or if something doesn't fit etc.

What's rude about that?

No point just hanging onto a £20 gift that is a duplicate won't ever be used. I keep all my Xmas receipts for such eventualities

How rude of them!! I'd be pissed at the fact they think they can send me off on an errand like that 'please find your receipt, make a trip to the store, get money back, find new gift, bring gift to us.' Fuck that.

Take the LEGO back. Text BIL 'sorry to hear DN didn't like the LEGO, but glad she is enjoying the top. Please tell DN we're donating the LEGO to needy children.'

No further gift.

@howtotrainyourdragqueen that is still rude. I gave your child and gift and you are giving me more work to do?

If you don't like it/ already have it - then donate it, regift it, return it yourself - i could not care less. But don't expect me to run your errands for you.

Children get so many toys this time of year. The idea that they are 'owed' a replacement for one they don't like/already have is madness.

@SilverBirchTree I don't mean that someone should 'run around after you'

Yes, they could return it and it makes sense to ask for the receipt in that instance. A child (or adult for that matter) shouldn't have a gift that either does t fit (if clothes) or is a duplicate, that's purely a waste of money. Similarly if something is faulty.

If you spent £50 on me and the gift was say faulty, I wouldn't want to return it without a receipt and maybe only get half the money back as it's in the sale or not even be able to take it back as that's your £50 wasted when presumably you wanted to spend that £50 on me for example

What the BIL did was rude, as he was ungrateful. That is totally different to my examples on this and a previous post. Swapping gifts is not rude in all circumstances IMO.

@howtotrainyourdragqueen if it was, for example, a gift that didn't fit or was a duplicate and you asked me for the receipt so you could go to the shop and exchange it, I don't think that's rude.

I think that placing the gift back in my hands and expecting me to sort it out for you is rude and annoying.

I also think saying 'DD doesn't like this' is incredibly rude. If my child said they didn't like it, they'd be reprimanded for their bad manners and later at home,reminded that some children have no toys at all and I'd take them to donate it.

There are a bunch of books on manners for children on amazon...maybe if you feel you need to replace the gift this time, it would be a good choice. This book would need an adult to read with her, but there are other choices. 365 Manners Kids Should Know

Why didn't he say no receipt, sorry! God how fucking rude of them! I would have told him he was rude too!

Awake has the perfect replacement.

Awake
That is the perfect replacement gift,
but i think you need to give them all a copy of their own, might make them think

Extremely rude! She's got the top, don't give her anything else. Give the legos to charity. The nerve of some people......

I think the difference between My Little Pony and Lego friends is that the little ponies are active and have adventures and deal with friendships. Lego friends is plain old-fashioned sexist. So I think in this case your BIL isn't being rude, he's just standing up for his daughter. Perhaps he didn't want to offend you by making it clear.

“Thanks for giving it back, I’m sorry she didn’t like it (you rude git)
Can’t be exchanged but I’m sure I can find someone who will be grateful.”
Next year, a voucher = buy what you want.

@moredoll, I loved Legos as a kid and despised Little Pony. How are Legos sexist?

How are Legos sexist?

This BBC article explains it in some depth.
www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-28660069

This is why we discuss gifts with family before hand and decide who is buying what.

@moredoll, thank you, interesting article.

I agree with those that think Lego should go back to the way it was in the 70's and 80's-that's when I played with them, which was all about construction. I barely remember the figurines. I just remember the bad ass buildings I created!

@MissLanesAmericanCousin yes, I agree. I think Lego as a construction toy is ace. It's a shame that toys are gendered.

Lego still make Classic Lego. However supply and demand means themed sets sell more than Classic.
Remember Lego almost went bust a few years ago not moving with the times.

If you must replace it, I’d replace it with a book. Matches your DS’s present and a much lower value which might make a point.

ChasedByBees

I second this recommendation!!!!!

The perfect replacement gift is the book of etiquette/ manners, although of course this would cause friction in the future. It’s incredibly rude and I would not even consider replacing the gift in this situation. I would take it back though. And give to someone who would love it.

I’m that they might be trying to make some kind of feminist point. Surely that’s rude - hold whatever views you want but if a gift was well meant then accept it in that spirit at face value.

I do buy generic gifts - but that not to say I buy without thought. I decided that this set looked like the kind of subject matter DN would like (with pets). And I always assume that people might regift so it is rarely highly personalised - I never write the rages of gift bags for this reason as well!

Rages = tags