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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to walk out on my family in Pizza Express

249 replies

Knitwit101 · 28/12/2018 18:14

I just got up and walked out. I am now in a Costa Coffee a few doors down.

3 kids, just nipping at each other all day long. They are generally well enough behaved but we've had a busy week with lots of family, away from home, everyone is tired and emotional.

But they just wouldn't stop. From the minute we got in the car they were arguing. Sat at the table, just fucking endless. So I got up, very calmly said that I did not want to have dinner with them, put on my coat and left.

I am now feeling terrible about poor old dh who obviously can't also walk out. They are either sitting in stunned silence or they have gone completely crazy. But I can't go back, I just can't. I am also tired and emotional. I wouldn't have dinner with anyone else who was behaving so badly.
Hopefully dh will forgive me. I will do all bedtime and he can go out for a drink or a run or something.

Fucking Christmas, when will it be over?

OP posts:
MidiMitch · 28/12/2018 18:16

Been there, done that (only I went to the nearest pub and had a vat of vino) Thanks for you

PeonyTruffle · 28/12/2018 18:18

I am 100% behind you, I have our 4yr old and 3 over tired over excited DSS's here - I've had enough, the constant fighting over everything, the bratty demands. I bloody love Christmas but I need some normality back now.

ZigZagIntoTheBlue · 28/12/2018 18:19

Good for you - maybe it's surprised them enough to think about their actions having an impact on other's lives. You don't say how old they are?

I've got two aged 2 and 6 and they've been doing my head in all day, nothing has been done (or stopped being done!) Unless I literally screamed at them Xmas Grin

MyPoodleisWorthTenofYou · 28/12/2018 18:20

I think taking them home would be better, they’ve behaved badly and now they still get to have Pizza Express. I’d have hustled them out, plain meal at home then up to bed.

LokiBear · 28/12/2018 18:20

Sometimes I think it is good for the dc to see the impact of their behaviour on their parent. Hopefully, they will apologise.

Strongmummy · 28/12/2018 18:21

I Don’t blame you. You were very restrained for doing it so calmly. You needed a break before you lost it. You were sensible and rational as you removed yourself. I hope they’re shocked and adjust their behaviour !!

SassitudeandSparkle · 28/12/2018 18:21

How old are they? I think you'd have got very different responses if you were on here complaining that your DH had walked out and left you to it tbh Hmm

maddiemookins16mum · 28/12/2018 18:21

I recall my Mum doing something like that once. It terrified me. Hopefully you’ve texted your DH to say you’re fine and will see them at home.

AutoFilled · 28/12/2018 18:21

i don’t have the guts to walk out because I can’t do that to DH. But I know how you feel.

UniversallyUnchallenged · 28/12/2018 18:22

Stay there, (have a hazelnut praline latte), text dh and say where you are. Have it out with the kids when you get home, (how old)? Start again tomorrow

LuckyLou7 · 28/12/2018 18:22

[coffee] for you. Bloody kids. Hopefully this will make them realise how badly they have been behaving.

jumperoonie · 28/12/2018 18:22

@SassitudeandSparkle if it were me it would be because I'm the one dealing with them 24/7 and my husband sees them at the weekend when he's not working 😂

Dimsumlosesum · 28/12/2018 18:23

I wish I had your calmness.

ILoveMaxiBondi · 28/12/2018 18:23

From the minute we got in the car they were arguing.

For future reference, this is the point at which you should have gone home. Just turn the car around and go home. Even if they beg and plead, still go home. It works. They’ll behave the next time you suggest going out.

AutoFilled · 28/12/2018 18:23

Exactly what @SassitudeandSparkle said. The responses will be different here if it’s the men who walked out. That’s why I won’t walk out but I understand why you did it.

Gth1234 · 28/12/2018 18:24

it will pay dividends, as they know you aren't bluffing next time. Just make sure you have the car keys!

Original poster
Knitwit101 · 28/12/2018 18:24

They are 11, 10 and 7.

I didn't take them all out because that would have meant I was still with them and still having to listen to them arguing and complaining.

Dh has just texted to say the youngest one is quietly crying and the other 2 are just sitting without saying anything. I now feel guilty about the crying one.

They are just having a pizza then we are heading home. No starters or puddings.

What fun.

OP posts:
Strongmummy · 28/12/2018 18:26

@sassitude - you don’t know that for sure. Plus it isn’t a man asking, it’s a woman. So people are responding to her and trying to be supportive. How is your response helpful?

villageshop · 28/12/2018 18:26

Perhaps text your dh to let you know where you are and you just needed a break, hope he understands? I don't blame you at all.

Strongmummy · 28/12/2018 18:27

@knitwit - I can understand why you feel guilty about the crying. Perhaps text back a message “mummy is fine and safe. She was upset at you arguing and needs some time to calm down. She loves you and will see you soon.”

villageshop · 28/12/2018 18:28

Oops, cross posted. Give them a while then maybe go back. Could your dh order your pizza and you go back when it's served?

Wildestflower · 28/12/2018 18:28

It will be ok. We all have some really awful times mixed in with the good ones. Have an early night and a better day for all of you tomorrow.

madmum5811 · 28/12/2018 18:29

I walked out, went to the cinema, bought sweets drink sat through a film. Afterwards bought myself a KFC which I ate in the car at the beach then went home. Everyone was very quiet when I got there.

Sometimes you need to draw a line in the sand, just to wake them up, they do not realise how wearing they are being until you bring it to their attention.

Queequeg07 · 28/12/2018 18:29

Don't feel guilty. You did the right thing and showed them you have a breaking point. Flowers

Aquamarine1029 · 28/12/2018 18:29

Don't feel guilty for ONE SECOND. It's GOOD that your children are feeling poorly. Shit behaviour has consequences and you were pushed to your limit. You handled yourself brilliantly by remaining calm and dignified. If I were you I would tell them that I expect an apology, and from this day forward, you won't tolerate this behaviour ever again.