to walk out on my family in Pizza Express

[Knitwit101]

I just got up and walked out. I am now in a Costa Coffee a few doors down.

3 kids, just nipping at each other all day long. They are generally well enough behaved but we've had a busy week with lots of family, away from home, everyone is tired and emotional.

But they just wouldn't stop. From the minute we got in the car they were arguing. Sat at the table, just fucking endless. So I got up, very calmly said that I did not want to have dinner with them, put on my coat and left.

I am now feeling terrible about poor old dh who obviously can't also walk out. They are either sitting in stunned silence or they have gone completely crazy. But I can't go back, I just can't. I am also tired and emotional. I wouldn't have dinner with anyone else who was behaving so badly.
Hopefully dh will forgive me. I will do all bedtime and he can go out for a drink or a run or something.

Fucking Christmas, when will it be over?

@Mackerella - you are correct about some children just being harder to parent. Both my children have additional needs, not severe, but present with very challenging behaviour and it is emotionally and physically draining! Especially at this time of year. I am a secondary school teacher and a term at school is easier than the holidays. OP good for you. Your children need to be aware that they can’t treat you so poorly. I really hope they take it on board and appreciate you a little more in future.

And you will miss them, and these mad days, when they’ve all gone off to university, Australia, etc.
I do. Make the most, hard as it seems right now.

Really agree with you OP. You did exactly the right thing. If you make a threat you need to follow through if bad behaviour continues

If you have been -their primary carer, the fault for them not knowing how to behave is laid at your door.
What a cheek to flounce out like some diva and leave your DH and the rest of the diners to have to put up with them.
What message have you sent to your kids about your dhs status relative to your own.you flounce off and DH is left to shovel up the shit

"Hello. Who ? Poppoppop100 ? Yes, they're here, hang on....."

"Poppoppop100 ! It's the 1950s calling, can you pop back and have a word with them. Your doormat and pinny are by the back door."

Your doormat and pinny are by the back door.

Revelling in martyrdom shines in this thread, doesn't it?

@poppoppop100

OP how are things? Are you ok?

I actually think you were a bit unfair to your dh.

Oh DH can put on his big boy knickers, often the kids behave better for a male anyway.

I'm glad it's not just my family lol x

Theresahairbrushinthefridge
Fantastic that you followed through on your threat. I bet they were absolutely gobsmacked but have learnt that most important lesson-

Actions have consequences.

Good behaviour gets rewarded, bad behaviour doesn't.

Maybe op should have put on her big girl knickers

@poppoppop100 and maybe you should take your judgey pants off, they're obviously lodged way too far up your arsehole.

I remember my mum doing this once and it always stayed with me , was more because of my dad than us kids but I’ve vowed to never do that as it really upset me as I thought that meant she was leaving for good .
There are better ways to deal with stuff and I would’ve paid up for whatever we had eaten/drunk and made us all leave

Lol at a womN quietly putting on her coat and leaving being described as ‘flouncing like a diva’

You can see sometimes why the mail writes shit about women ‘flaunting their curves’ when they are just walking somewhere when people say shit like that

Is this still rumbling on? It was days ago.

I'm fine, dh is fine, we are fine together, no-one feels upset or put out or unfairly treated. On this occasion dh had to deal with them, other times it's me. That's how we work.

The kids are fine, they are not traumatised or suffering in any way. This will not be a major moment in their lives, they probably won't even remember in a month's time. No-one has even mentioned it since the day.

So probably it didn't achieve all that much really, apart from me getting a much needed hour off.

We did not disturb any fellow Pizza Express diners, the bad behaviour was just arguing and nipping at each other in fairly level tones. I did not cause a scene or flounce out knocking over chairs and customers on the way.

I am sorry for anyone who was regularly ignored or treated badly by their parents. That was cruel and unfair. But please be reassured that is not how our family is. Everyone is just fine.

Has their behaviour improved ?

My tactic was to ask for the bill and leave. Bad behaviour = no treat. Only had to do it once and when DDs are sniping at each other I warn them about the cafe in X and they pack it in.

Love your update knitwit101 😂

This is a genuine question, but would you parents really tell the children some form of "mummy is upset and needs to calm down, she loves you"?
That's what has happened in our house. At least the kids then know it's the situation you are upset about, not the child itself.

@yulebealrite, yes and I have. I’d think it’s pretty standard behaviour to ensure your kids still feel loved even tho you need space

Glad you have made it home in time for 2019

'flounce1 to move or go with emphatic or impatient movements '

what on earth has this got to do with the mail writing about flaunting curves pagwatch. completely bizarre leap! I think you have been on the sauce!