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AIBU?

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woke up still feeling Meh about last night

200 replies

alistg · 27/12/2018 09:54

Grr why when it comes to feelings I can't seem to let things go?.Last night my Dp was here with his older children .Mine turned up later in the evening.The night was led really by the children ,watching films going on their phones .So not a lot of interaction.My Dp had work this am .So as usually he wound everything down as in make anyone a last drink , tidy up .(He used to run a pub) .He herds everyone out of the kitchen also herds me up to bed .Which happened last night .So my ds is now also getting into bed it's late .I'm in the bathroom getting ready .I can hear his dss go back into the kitchen & start laughing with him .Then the noise is turned up a notch .To which my dp knocks on the bathroom door asking if my youngest can go back down as he doesn't want him miss out of the fun with his 2 .No mention of me .So last night I sat rigged to my bed for 2 hours ranging while they were all downstairs having a fun .Dp later came up stairs all smiling saying they all had a fun night .He asked then if I was alright .My reply was light of .I hoped this am my emotions would re align , but no here I am still raging .

OP posts:
cricketballs3 · 27/12/2018 09:56

Why didn't you just go down?

19lottie82 · 27/12/2018 09:56

You could have gone down? Surely you didn’t need permission?

Bouledeneige · 27/12/2018 09:57

Yes, why didn't you? Surely you don't need anyone's permission?

DooBDoo · 27/12/2018 09:57

Why didn't you go down?

SpikyHedgehogg · 27/12/2018 09:58

.So last night I sat rigged to my bed for 2 hours ranging

What does this bit mean? (I guess "ranging" was an autocorrect for "raging"?).

Returnofthesmileybar · 27/12/2018 09:58

This is strange, why didn't you go down and join in the fun? Why when he "herded" you up did you not just say "Oh night, are you off to bed? My night isn't over, I'll be up later"

SpikyHedgehogg · 27/12/2018 09:59

It sounds fairly miserable that you were stuck upstairs in bed, listening to the fun but feeling that you needed/wanted an invite to join in.

pJTop · 27/12/2018 10:00

You could have been a grown up and maybe headed downstairs rather than sit raging because you never got the personal gold envelope invite downstairs ?

Beansandcoffee · 27/12/2018 10:01

Eh? Why didn’t you just get out of bed and join the party?

Jinglebells99 · 27/12/2018 10:02

Don’t get this. Why don’t you just go to bed when you want ?! Is he controlling you?

Drogosnextwife · 27/12/2018 10:03

Why didn't you go back down? Sure he asked if your ds was allowed because he thought you might have wanted him to go to bed since it was late. You are an adult you don't need permission.

Why would he here you all up to bed and then all go back down?

Elphie54 · 27/12/2018 10:04

You are an adult, no? Why couldn’t you have just gone down?

alistg · 27/12/2018 10:04

morning.In reply to why I didn't go downstairs.Part of me thought Dp won't be long because he needs to be up early .secondly I felt He was coming up .Thirdly when he didn't I was in shock .

OP posts:
Propertywoe · 27/12/2018 10:05

If my DP was downstairs with the DCs I would join in if I wanted to, he certainly would not invite me, as he would not see the need. By asking for your DS he was informing you that they were staying up.

GertrudeCB · 27/12/2018 10:06

I cannot fathom why you didn't just go down.

CandyCreeper · 27/12/2018 10:06

Errr ok then. Confused

BIWI · 27/12/2018 10:07

Sounds like a problem all of your own making.

Grannyannex · 27/12/2018 10:08

KNOckingnon your door to ask about the eldest coming down was his way of saying to you both it’s ok to continue.

DooBDoo · 27/12/2018 10:09

You sound a bit....childish. Sorry OP. I still don't get why you raged upstairs for 2 hours. Surely after a few minutes you'd just go down?

SuchAToDo · 27/12/2018 10:09

Op why did you stay in bed, you are a grown adult...you don't have to go to bed or stay in bed just because your dp says you have to....is he controlling in other areas of your life too?..do you always feel you have to do as he says ?..why did you stay in bed, what did you think his reaction to you would have been if you disobeyed him and went back downstairs?...

His behaviour of rounding up the kids is normal...

His behaviour of telling you when you can go to bed and leaving you there not feeling you can go downstairs in your own home is not normal, it's a form of abuse...

alistg · 27/12/2018 10:10

that's why I came on here.To give my head a wobble .I know i could of should of gone back downstairs,but at the time I felt the evening was over .My dp was shutting the house down for the evening,so i took his lead .What upset me was the evening was really quiet .Until it went up a notch after i went upstairs .

OP posts:
Elphie54 · 27/12/2018 10:10

You basically made this problem, not him. Not sure why you would be upset at him. You could have gone down and joined them, you chose not to.

ButterflyBelle · 27/12/2018 10:11

If that sends you into SHOCK what will important stuff do to you.

It was a non event which you've turned into a massive drama. It's all in your head. Just let It go.

pJTop · 27/12/2018 10:12

Shock Hmm

Weebitawks · 27/12/2018 10:12

YABU. But I’m betting you’ll never accept that.

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