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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think 12 is a bit too old to beleive in father Christmas?

200 replies

nickiredcar · 25/12/2018 08:27

We were playing a game of guess the person and "are they real?" Was something asked. End of the story I got an angry text from SIL about saying to my 12 year old neice as part of a game that father Christmas isnt real. She's going on about "taking her innocence" that they want to keep for as long as possible Hmm

I know it's their parenting choice, but does anyone elses 12 year olds still believe in it?

OP posts:
Sugarhunnyicedtea · 25/12/2018 08:28

Mine did at 12. 14 now and definitely doesn't.

Lwg87 · 25/12/2018 08:29

I think high school should be the cut off to save them the embarrassment! You’ve done them a favour

steff13 · 25/12/2018 08:30

I think telling any child that Santa isn't real is a bit of a dick move.

Girlicorne · 25/12/2018 08:30

My DD is 11 and she does. I have no intention of having `the talk' with her so she probably still will believe next year!

nickiredcar · 25/12/2018 08:31

steff13 if you actually read the post no one did thatHmm

OP posts:
CarolDanvers · 25/12/2018 08:32

Yes. My 12 year old with high functioning autism does still believe and even if she didn’t have HFA I wouldn’t think she was too old to believe. So what? Really annoys me how people try to sneer at this.

dementedpixie · 25/12/2018 08:32

My two didn't at that age. Ds questioned from age 6 and we kept up the pretence until age 8. Dd never really said when she stopped believing

fezzesarecool · 25/12/2018 08:33

At her age she probably knows the truth but is desperate to still believe so probably no harm done

XmasHolly · 25/12/2018 08:33

I seriously doubt any child of 12 really believes in Santa. Xmas Smile

HungryForSnacks · 25/12/2018 08:34

Yeah I think 12 is pushing it. I'd be worried they'd get teased at school if they still believed.

The other option is that she knows he isn't real but is playing along for the presents!

Crudd · 25/12/2018 08:34

For me, it's too old, I know others on here disagree.

But realistically I think only a tiny, tiny percentage of children will believe at that age, to the point where I think it'd be safe to assume they did in a game of 20 Questions (or whatever you were playing).

steff13 · 25/12/2018 08:34

saying to my 12 year old neice as part of a game that father Christmas isnt real.

Sorry, what does this mean, then?

MaggieAndHopey · 25/12/2018 08:37

My 11 year old knows but somehow she's never told us, it's like gradually over the course of this year she's become willingly complicit in the lie for the sake of her younger sister - lots of nods and winks in our direction! Perhaps the 12 year old does know but hasn't said so to her parents to spare their feelings.

TubbsAndEdward · 25/12/2018 08:38

My 14 year old DD keeps up the pretence but I'm certain she knows different Grin

ISpeakJive · 25/12/2018 08:38

I don't think it's about whether Santa is real or not. It's whether you believe or don't.
My 8 year old has been told by her school friends he's not real but she still wants to believe he is.

Oblomov18 · 25/12/2018 08:39

I too think that secondary is the cut off.
Ds1 told Ds2 that he'd need to be less naive when he goes to secondary. Which is good advice.

MaidenMotherCrone · 25/12/2018 08:40

Years ago I knew a 12 year old who believed and played with Barbies, tea sets and other childish toys. So, so innocent. IN FRONT OF HER PARENTS.

Away from them she was foul mouth, fag touting,mean girl bully. Nasty as they come.

She was an extremely spoiled only child who was a master manipulator and a very good actor. She is now a professional actor. She had lovely hair though so there’s always thatGrin

Crudd · 25/12/2018 08:48

My 14 year old DD keeps up the pretence but I'm certain she knows different
Yeah, I think that's the norm and is probably what's happening with OP's DN.

There's a few studies around which say that most kids stop believing by the age of 8 but the majority play along for a bit longer to humour their parents. I played along into adulthood, it's part of the fun.

I do think 12 is too old to genuinely believe though. At that age, with the serious stuff they start to learn about in school, still being encouraged to believe in Santa seems unhelpful for their development.

CoughLaughFart · 25/12/2018 08:53

I remember being ten and realising that, although I’d known deep down for a year or two that he wasn’t real, I still wanted to believe. Even now I can remember going to sleep picturing Santa in the sky one last time. It’s a happy memory.

TheBigFatMermaid · 25/12/2018 08:53

MY 12 year old DS tells me Santa is real, he brings his presents, but I have to wrap DDs because she doesn't believe in him, so he won't bring her any. DD assures me he won't get made fun of at school, as he tells her he doesn't believe in him. So, he appears to be just humouring his mum! Grin

I still wouldn't have told someone elses child he isn't real though.

daisypond · 25/12/2018 08:56

I think the proportion of 12-year-olds that still believe will be absolutely tiny. I've never come across one. But many will keep up the pretence, in the same way that adults keep up the pretence. It's part of the Christmas tradition - the mince pie for Father Christmas, carrot for the reindeer, stockings, etc.

nickiredcar · 25/12/2018 08:57

Sadly it isn't a joke that she's pretending with, I've heard from other family members that she's getting into arguments at school with her insistence that he's real.

OP posts:
BeardedMum · 25/12/2018 08:59

I doubt a 12 year old believes in Santa. If mine did I would worry😂

Ladytinselmuff · 25/12/2018 09:00

DD is 11, 12 in Jan. I'm sure she doesn't believe but is desperate to hold on to it all - so we merrily go along with it! She wanted elves to appear with Xmas eve boxes - of course she did! And she was the first up! 6yo DS is much less bothered about it allXmas Confused Merry Christmas!!

DisgraceToTheYChromosome · 25/12/2018 09:03

DD was six when she told me Santa wasn't real, "but don't tell Mummy or she'll cry". Frankly, if someone wants to believe in Santa at any age, let them. It's one of the safer faiths out there.

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