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Original poster

To think 12 is a bit too old to beleive in father Christmas?

200 replies

nickiredcar · 25/12/2018 08:27

We were playing a game of guess the person and "are they real?" Was something asked. End of the story I got an angry text from SIL about saying to my 12 year old neice as part of a game that father Christmas isnt real. She's going on about "taking her innocence" that they want to keep for as long as possible Hmm

I know it's their parenting choice, but does anyone elses 12 year olds still believe in it?

OP posts:
SenecaFalls · 25/12/2018 19:32

How in this day and age do children not find out by the age of twelve? I remember being told by other children when I was much younger than that and then asking my mother who confirmed the shocking truth. I did get over it, though.

ShawshanksRedemption · 25/12/2018 19:33

Agree with @FissionChips: "I can’t believe that a 12 year old still believes that an obese man manages to break into several homes around the world in a single night to leave presents. It’s absurd."

We didn't make FC a big thing in our family so it didn't make such a huge difference when our two cottoned on. I think if you really go for it in your family then it can be a big thing when the spell is broken. Our kids have also always known that the gifts come from people, so they can say thank you.

Batteriesallgone · 25/12/2018 19:37

What creeps me out is the stockings at the end of the bed thing. A stranger in your bedroom but it’s not scary or intruding coz you get a present, bleurgh.

FC doesn’t come IN to our house. He drops the stockings down the chimney and they end up on the hearth. Magic, innit.

SenecaFalls · 25/12/2018 19:38

We didn't make FC a big thing in our family so it didn't make such a huge difference when our two cottoned on. I think if you really go for it in your family then it can be a big thing when the spell is broken. Our kids have also always known that the gifts come from people, so they can say thank you.

We did something similar with our children. It also helps handle the inevitable questions about why Santa treats the children of rich families well and many poor children get next to nothing.

Coloursthatweremyjoy · 25/12/2018 20:35

When I was a child I totally believed. The magic was all encompassing and I loved it. My parents didn't make that much of a thing of Father Christmas either. He brought stockings and a couple of presents under the tree and ate a mince pie on Christmas eve, that was it. My mum told me at age 12 that he wasn't real...I had known from about 9 but played along for the fun and excitement. Maybe your neice is the same?

My 2 have SN. The youngest is 12 and has not so HF Autism...this year he asked me outright so he got the truth. However I still had to read " the night before christmas" and eat half a mince pie and make the dog eat half a carrot....

CoughLaughFart · 25/12/2018 21:01

we had a bizarre conversation a couple of days ago about wombles, which she seems to think are real!

Well who do YOU think clears the rubbish from Wimbledon Common? Hmmm?!

CynthiaRothrock · 25/12/2018 21:28

Dd1(age 10 yr6) is.on the verge of not beliveing, i think this was probably her last christmas believing in santa. Dd2 (age 7 yr3) is adamant he is real, and she truly believes that the evil fecking elf moves itself (dd1 has never been THAT gullible).We have never made massive deal out of santa, they have always been led to believe santa brings one present (usually stocking) and mum/dad do the rest. This was after dd1 questioned why some people got lots of expensive things and some people got nothing/not a lot, she was 5. It works for us, the magic is still there without the pressure, they are always excited to see what 'special' present he brought!

Yabbers · 26/12/2018 00:42

elaborate pretence for children including props etc

And the rituals in church are any different? Some might view those as elaborate pretence, carried out by church elders so adults continue to believe.

It's all just a matter of faith.

DelurkingAJ · 26/12/2018 00:54

OP, I feel for you. We played 20 Qs last year with DS1(then 5) who outfoxed is royally by picking Father Christmas and answering ‘Yes’ to the standard ‘is he real?’ question. We did some splendid parental linguistic gymnastics to avoid explaining why we couldn’t work it out (given he had replied in good faith...and was 5).

I can see exactly why you’d assume a NT 12 year old wouldn’t believe. I’d sigh and move on.

starcrossedseahorse · 26/12/2018 01:21

Cannot believe that any child over school age believes in this. I think that they all play along to keep parents happy!

LeafCutterAnt · 26/12/2018 01:38

It's kinder to let them know before they go to secondary school than to let peers tell them.

Frogletmamma · 26/12/2018 01:48

Dd told me today she never believed in Santa. Didn't really push it when she was small. Know a boy her own age who still believes. Each to their own

AbsoluteBeginners7 · 26/12/2018 03:22

i don't get it, since my son started in year 7 his voice has deepened and he talks about what they all listen to... Lil Pump and other hip hop talking about bitches and cocaine.

There's no way Year 7 kids believe in FC in Essex!

BusterGonad · 26/12/2018 03:32

It's up to the parents to decide what to do about the Santa issue, anyone who takes it as their responsibility to tell someone else's child he isn't real is over stepping the mark, by a mile! It's rude and disrespectful.

Cachailleacha · 26/12/2018 10:13

LeafCutterAnt I agree, the transition to secondary school can be difficult enough for many children, why make things even trickier for them socially?

Sugarhunnyicedtea · 26/12/2018 10:15

AbsoluteBeginners7 they do in the part of Essex I live 😃

malificent7 · 26/12/2018 10:34

Dd is 10 and is desperate to beleive but has a lot of common sense so is like ' oh come on.....' Strangely on this year she dosnt quite beleive she was more excited than ever and hardly slept !

randomchap · 26/12/2018 10:46

My DD is eight, she told me this year that she knows he's not real but will keep pretending for DS who's 4. I don't know who told her but she's taken it well.

Could it be that your DD knows that he's not real but is pretending so that she's keeping up with the family tradition?

importantkath · 26/12/2018 10:59

www.theguardian.com/us-news/2018/dec/26/seven-year-old-girl-in-donald-trump-call-still-believes-in-santa

This highlights the danger of assumptions. Just don't go there with kids of any age, whatever your personal thoughts on the matter, because you will always come across as a bit of a twat.

Rosepetalgeranium · 26/12/2018 11:02

What about those with a middle school?

Should you tell them before the middle school?

starcrossedseahorse · 26/12/2018 11:09

Frankly I cannot believe that any child over 6/7 believes in FC. I know that parents THINK that they do but...

The notion that a 12 year old believes in FC is utterly ridiculous!

Philomensapie · 26/12/2018 11:10

I keep saying it, my DSIS is NT and believed until she was 13.

BusterGonad · 26/12/2018 11:13

Star my son went out the house Christmas Eve night, to put out the milk etc and we had to quickly run back in the house as he heard Santa's sledge and heard Santa go "ho ho ho" children mature at different ages. My son is a young 10yo!

Philomensapie · 26/12/2018 11:21

She wasn't "just saying it", because she was talking to her friends at school and said, "You know, I'm beginning to think that Father Christmas is really my mum and dad." Cue hysterical laughter from friends.

Cachailleacha · 26/12/2018 11:24

Should you tell them before the middle school? Middle school is 9-13 year olds? I would at least make sure that my child knew that it was something that not every family did at Christmas, and that there were different Christmas traditions.