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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think 12 is a bit too old to beleive in father Christmas?

200 replies

nickiredcar · 25/12/2018 08:27

We were playing a game of guess the person and "are they real?" Was something asked. End of the story I got an angry text from SIL about saying to my 12 year old neice as part of a game that father Christmas isnt real. She's going on about "taking her innocence" that they want to keep for as long as possible Hmm

I know it's their parenting choice, but does anyone elses 12 year olds still believe in it?

OP posts:
starcrossedseahorse · 26/12/2018 11:26

Philo I find that incredible tbh. I teach that age group and...just no.

starcrossedseahorse · 26/12/2018 11:28

Sorry missed your next post.

thefleurdelis · 26/12/2018 11:41

12 and 10 here. Not sure how much they believe.
If you don’t believe then he doesn’t come.

So the game will go on for a while.

WhiteDust · 26/12/2018 11:50

Myself and many do worry about someone so old that still beleives in it all.

Tell yourself it's none of your business who believes what and who doesn't.

My MIL believes that on the 25th Dec, 2018 years ago, a man and woman set off on a journey to pay their taxes, ended up following a star and the virgin woman miraculously gave birth to a child who was conceived in the womb of his mother through the Holy Spirit.
Wise kings and angels were present before and after...

Who am I to judge?

ChristmasTwatteryDoesMyHeadIn · 26/12/2018 11:53

Myself and many do worry about someone so old that still beleives in it all.

How smugly presumptuous of you to worry about children who didn’t ask for it, and don’t need it.

MistressDeeCee · 26/12/2018 11:55

Oh ...so what. In reverse, there's so much 12 year olds are too young for, that adults try to push onto them. I don't think it does any harm to believe in magic and wonder, we're all different thankfully.

She's not the only one who believes in some big bloke theyve never seen, sitting way up in the clouds looking on over our world is she...

icannotremember · 26/12/2018 11:58

Ds1 still fervently believed last Christmas and we only told him it was made up as he had already had some mean comments at primary school and we didn't want him to get picked on for it at secondary.

Given the effort put into the Santa story and making it all "magical" it's hardly a surprise that some kids believe for years and years. Anyway some grown adults believe in equally daft things!

Iusedtobecarmen · 26/12/2018 12:15

I can never,ever get why people to tell ther dc FC isn't real. Just why?
Don't get all this to save them.from embarrassment.
They will realise one day but no need to actually say it and spoil the innocence of childhood, which lets face it, is already spoiled these days.
I never told eldest
He's late teens now but clearly twigged at some point ! Never had this ridiculous
Serious 'Conversation' that some parents seem to have. When he did question it I just said course he's real. I believe!stuff like that. He's a normal young man now who is very savvy

Not some gullible fool or educationally challenged like some posters suggest when kids still believe.

I think most children don't believe by secondary school
My middle dc is just.11. Hes just started questioning
I've said the same as i said to eldest
I think may be it's last year of half believing. But there will never be a chat from me.
I will still chat about Santa and all the build up
In the Ops situation I would have said some people believe and some don't
But if you u dont believe you dont get presents!

There's gradually a realisation.without saying a word

Youngest is 8 and be said some spiteful children at school said he's not real. That's sad at 8
Its the.bah humbug miserable parents who can't keep the magic alive.
It's fun for God's sake

Iusedtobecarmen · 26/12/2018 12:17

And whats wrong with anyone-adult or child?believing in daft things.
I love having fun
Some people are just serious and boring

Iusedtobecarmen · 26/12/2018 12:18

mistress and whitedust hell yeah. Exactly

Taffeta · 26/12/2018 12:24

This is our first year with two non believers (12 & 15). It’s so sad Sad

DS realised at about 10-11yo and sadly said “will Christmas ever be as good again?”.

DD (12) has felt the loss this year.

It takes a few years to adjust. [cries]

starcrossedseahorse · 26/12/2018 12:25

I don't think it's fun tbh. I think it is a very strange thing to do.
My parents did not inflict this kind of shit on me as a child though thank goodness. My Christmasses were no less lovely because of it I am sure.

poppoppop100 · 26/12/2018 12:25

DD is in y8 so nearly 13 and her best friend still believes.My niece who is a similar age does too.
I had to tell my eldest when he was 8 rising 9 because his 5 yo brother had asked me for the truth in front of him.

starcrossedseahorse · 26/12/2018 12:26

Not a chance that a child in Y8 thinks that FC is real. Sorry but not a chance.

notangelinajolie · 26/12/2018 12:37

I don't understand having the big 'talk' with children. They work it out for themselves eventually. It's just harmless fun and adds to the magic of Christmas. Santa still comes to mine every year and will continue to do so for a long as he likes. It's magic you see - Happy Christmas Xmas Grin

MsTSwift · 26/12/2018 12:40

There’s the year they ask lots of questions then the year they ask no questions so of course they don’t believe but play along for their parents sake Grin. I would be quite concerned if a 12 year old genuinely believed tbh I have a 12 year old and she is politely quiet on the subject

abacucat · 26/12/2018 13:26

I think this is about parents who want to stop their kids growing up, The phrase in the OP of keeping her "innocent" says it all.

Didthatreallyhappen2 · 26/12/2018 14:47

DD age 12 still believes - or at least pretends to. I've been rather clever with presents from FC this year and I could see the look of amazement in her eyes yesterday morning when faced with something she wanted, given by FC, but she hadn't asked for.

We've always said that "if you don't believe you can't receive". She'd never, ever admit it in front of friends, but at home it's lovely. And if it means she gets an extra present then it's win-win. I really don't see the harm, especially if nobody but family knows and so she isn't being bullied about it.

poppoppop100 · 26/12/2018 15:33

But why would a 12 to insist to their schoolfriend that santa was real if she didn't believe it??

Satsumaeater · 26/12/2018 16:03

Sadly it isn't a joke that she's pretending with, I've heard from other family members that she's getting into arguments at school with her insistence that he's real

But he is real! I've seen him in Lapland! When I was 18.

I was probably close to 12 when I finally stopped believing. When people said to me of course he's not real I said of course he is because my parents couldn't afford the presents I got. My mother used to save all year but I didn't know that.

Satsumaeater · 26/12/2018 16:04

My ds twigged because he found something under our bed which a few weeks later then turned up in his stocking.

Iusedtobecarmen · 26/12/2018 16:08

seahorse
See what i find strange is thinking that parents are inflicting. 'That kind of shit '
What kind of shit?
A Christmas magical.tradition that most families do in the UK.and many other countries too.
It is sad when children grow up and the magic of childhood is lost so why spoil it with A big grown up chat about nothing!a 12 yr old is still a child!!let them have some fun before they grow up to be the misery guts that some parents are.

starcrossedseahorse · 26/12/2018 16:24

It is not 'magical' - it is just daft. Do the whole FC thing if you must but don't pretend that he is actually real! It's ridiculous!

BruceAndNosh · 26/12/2018 16:27

I've never understood the idea of lying to your children for years about Santa, then eventually having to admit you've been lying.

MsTSwift · 26/12/2018 16:34

Indeed. Telling a 4 year old child a story seems very different somehow to looking a 10 year old in the eye and flatly lying and inventing elaborate fibs and insisting the story is true. In the words of Elsa eventually adults have to let it go...