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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think 12 is a bit too old to beleive in father Christmas?

200 replies

nickiredcar · 25/12/2018 08:27

We were playing a game of guess the person and "are they real?" Was something asked. End of the story I got an angry text from SIL about saying to my 12 year old neice as part of a game that father Christmas isnt real. She's going on about "taking her innocence" that they want to keep for as long as possible Hmm

I know it's their parenting choice, but does anyone elses 12 year olds still believe in it?

OP posts:
maddiemookins16mum · 25/12/2018 09:03

Your DN probably know the ‘truth’ by now anyway but isn’t letting on to her nutty parents.

swimmerforlife · 25/12/2018 09:05

I agree OP, I would tell my kids when they started secondary if they did still believed.

My Aunt used to drag along her three sons for Santa photos up to when they were about 13...poor kids.

Qasd · 25/12/2018 09:07

I think there is a trend towards kids believing a lot later, when I was young no one believed at 10/11 but most of my child’s year six class do!

Hohocabbage · 25/12/2018 09:07

You were daft to use Santa as an answer in a guess who game though.

Hohocabbage · 25/12/2018 09:09

Reading your posts Op, you knew from other family members that this was an issue with the girl and you still persisted with this? Interfering much? I can see why you’d want to, but it’s really not your business

Santaclarita · 25/12/2018 09:10

Any kid at that age saying they believe in santa is probably just hoping for extra presents. I did that for Christmas and the tooth fairy. Why say you don't believe if you aren't gonna get something out of it? Grin

HellsBellsAndBatteredBananas · 25/12/2018 09:12

I have 3 teens between 15-20 and a 10 year old. The 10yo firmly believes but the other three choose to believe and would never burst a kids bubble.

PineapplePower · 25/12/2018 09:13

Wow, getting into fights with other kids at school? Her parents are doing your DN no favors by letting her persist in believing in Santa.

Original poster
nickiredcar · 25/12/2018 09:13

She chose him as the answer to the guess who, and I only knew more about her still thinking he's real as I'm with family members this morning chatting about it!

Lots of things I am responsible for, but not this one at all!

OP posts:
Fuckyousanta · 25/12/2018 09:13

All my kids knew from about 5/6 Blush

The OP who posted about the advice not to be so naive in secondary school has it spot on.

Fresta · 25/12/2018 09:14

Any 12 year old that still believes in FC (barring any SEN) must really be lacking in any critical thinking skills. I'd be concerned.

drspouse · 25/12/2018 09:15

You were daft to use Santa as an answer in a guess who game though.
It doesn't say that. It sounds like person A has a real person as the answer, person B asks are they real, person A says yes, DN "is it Father Christmas", person A "no it's a real person".

MaisyPops · 25/12/2018 09:19

Most secondary students don't literally believe he is real but many are happy yo play along. Year 7 is borderline depending on parents. Year 8/9 it's embarrassing to 'believe' in Santa but year 10-13 all talk about what they're getting from Santa.

MN seems like a funny place to me as we all stopped genuinely believing by 9ish but on here there seems to be quite a lot of people insisting children believe up to 12/13.

sobeyondthehills · 25/12/2018 09:20

I am 36 and still think he is real. :-p

jessstan2 · 25/12/2018 09:23

Op, I think your niece does not believe in Fr Christmas and is keeping up the pretence for the benefit of her parents! Oh I'm so glad I never did all that with mine. I just said Santa was a magical story, not that he existed.

Frankly, I think six is too old to still believe.

I remember, back in the dark ages, a girl at school saying something to the teacher about Father Christmas, we were about eight, and the teacher (a nun) said, "You're far too old to believe in that now". End of. The girl looked a bit confused, I wonder what she said to her mum about lying for all those years.

Now it is all out of hand, elves and the like.

Your sister in law is being an unreasonable idiot.

CasperGutman · 25/12/2018 09:28

My mum's retired now, and I'm still 100% certain that, on the subject of Father Christmas, she'd answer the question "Is this character real?" with a resounding "Yes!"

Grinchly · 25/12/2018 09:36

12ShockShockShock
Unless the child has some form of serious intellectual disability, that is shocking.
I worked it out aged four and had to play along with the nonsense...
Mind you a third of the adult population allegedly believes in angels. No wonder the U K is in a mess. Perhaps the National average I Q is declining or something.

Seniorschoolmum · 25/12/2018 09:42

She probably doesn’t really believe but that’s different from having an adult confirm it.

My ds told me weeks ago that FC doesn’t exist and stocking are for babies, but last night he made me let the log burner go out early so it would be cool enough by midnight Grin. He’s 10

He11y · 25/12/2018 09:50

I don’t think she believes and the school stuff is just hearsay and gossip. My parents never outwardly told us he isn’t real but we kept doing the traditional think right through our teens. That’s what’s happening here - the only difference is her parents are stupid enough to believe that she believes. Best thing for them to do is stop throwing accusations around and talk to their daughter about it and agree that everything stays traditional in their house if that’s what they all want. The fact she’s told them suggests she wants this conversation but it’s gone over the top of their heads.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 25/12/2018 09:52

I think you should have said some people think he is real some dont

bumblingbovine49 · 25/12/2018 09:54

Goodness me. DS worked out that santa isn't real at 6 years old. I am astonished that a 12 year old genuinely believes this.
I really think it is a kindness to tell them before secondary school if kids still believe by then

areyoubeingserviced · 25/12/2018 09:55

The child probably knows that Santa isn’t real
My children ‘pretended ‘ to believe in Santa Claus because they enjoyed the whole process

Yabbers · 25/12/2018 09:57

So children must stop believing in Santa by high school but millions of adults continue to believe in God and that's just fine?

I've always said to DD, it's not about what is "real" or not, it's about what you believe as an individual. The same is true of religion, it's a personal thing and if you want to believe, that's just fine.

keenkaren · 25/12/2018 10:00

I think it's totally fine but probably a red flag they're going to be a bit gullible in later life

LL83 · 25/12/2018 10:00

It's unusual to believe at 12 but I think December is a rubbish time to find out.

I would never assume a child knew just in case it was an issue. When the person realised what they had done did they try and back track?

I understand why sil is disappointed if she thought she had another christmss with a believer and now she doesn't. Accidents happen if I was SIL I would be disappointed but understand it wasn't deliberate.