Aibu to take brothers presents back after they open them?

[ThatPeskyElf]

2 brothers.
Neither have their own kids/family/bills (other than mobile bill) etc. One lives with my dad, the other with my mum (neither pay rent so all their income is theirs).
Just found out from my mum that neither have bought my daughter an Xmas gift.

I’m a skint single parent and I have bought them a nice tshirt each from Next. Can’t afford it, but it’s xmas.

My daughter doesn’t see her dad, none of his family bother with her. Only other gifts she gets are from me, my mum and my dad.
I know xmas shouldn’t be about getting gifts but I’m so upset they aren’t buying for my daughter as they’ve overspent on their Xmas do’s etc.
One bro has bought spas days for step
Mother and step sisters (2), other has bought for 3 of his friends kids.
We are close, have a good relationship... so why don’t they love their niece enough to buy for her when they spend so much on others?!!!!

Aibu to give them their tshirts that I’ve already wrapped then take them back after they’ve opened them if they do not produce a gift for my dd?? I would spend the money on taking my dd out somewhere before she goes back to school.

I’d never expect a gift for me from them, I host them here on Xmas day, they’re just cf aren’t they?!

I wouldn’t even give them gifts! YANBU

I wouldn't take back a gift I've given. I just wouldn't give the gift in the first place

Honestly I wouldn't even give them them, I would wait to see if they got dd anything, if not take them back to the shop and get a refund

Giving them a gift and taking it back is cuntish

Not giving them a gift in the first place, that is a bit more acceptable

I think giving then taking back would show them that I bothered to buy them something but they didn’t deserve them as they are selfish and thoughtless.

Keep their gifts and return them rather than create a potential argument in front of everyone.

I would be more cuntish than them?
Yeah, I don’t agree.

Just don't give them, and take them back to the shop for a refund, assuming you still have the receipt.

I don’t think there would be an argument, think they would just be embarrassed.

You risk ruining Xmas with the resulting argument though. Do you want your dd witnessing you being potentially shouted at and you shouting back?

Please don't do it. It is petty.

Once you've given the gifts they are no longer your property.

I expect homeless people would appreciate nice new Next teeshirts

Will it create an atmosphere for the rest of the day?

Give them presents or don’t.

Don’t orchestrate a stupid soap opera-style scene.

Well yes it would be cuntish to give them and then take it back

I haven’t bought anything for my niece and nephew

I used to, even just a small selection box if I was short of money but my sister never bought anything for mine.

Then on top of that, I never really saw her anyway

Now I just don’t buy them anything

You can’t give a gift and then take it back.

Either give them the gifts graciously or don’t give them gifts at all and take them back, but you can’t do both. It will make you look petty and probably cause an argument.

Don't be petty over this. Just don't give them the gifts in the first place. That is totally understandable and reasonable but do not stoop so low as to create a scene to make a point. You can do this without the drama.

Being petty is nothing in comparison to neglecting your only niece in your present buying to save face in front of friends/step family.

It feels like they think our feelings and opinion of them are less important that of their friends/step family. It should be the other way around!

You can't give them gifts then take them back just to prove a point, it's ridiculous, petty, and risk causing a scene.

Perfectly acceptable to just not give the gifts.

As others have said, you can't give them their gifts then demand they give them back. That's childish and petty.

But you'd be totally within your rights to not give them anything. Unwrap the t-shirts and take them back for a refund after Christmas.

So just don't give them gifts, or, actually speak to them, communicate and say you're hurt they haven't bought dd a gift. I'd really urge you not to do what you're planning.

I'd hide the gifts. If they don't get DD anything then take them back. You can let them know another time that you got them something but you took them back because you felt upset that they didn't get DD anything. I wouldn't let them open it and then take it away because I do think that's mean! I'd be really upset and embarrassed if someone did that to me. Don't ruin Christmas over it, like I said wait another day.

Do you know for sure they haven't got DD anything?

By all means take the gifts back to the shop but don't be a prick and try to take them back after giving it to them.

Op: AIBU?

Everyone: YABU

OP: No I am not!