Aibu to take brothers presents back after they open them?

[ThatPeskyElf]

2 brothers.
Neither have their own kids/family/bills (other than mobile bill) etc. One lives with my dad, the other with my mum (neither pay rent so all their income is theirs).
Just found out from my mum that neither have bought my daughter an Xmas gift.

I’m a skint single parent and I have bought them a nice tshirt each from Next. Can’t afford it, but it’s xmas.

My daughter doesn’t see her dad, none of his family bother with her. Only other gifts she gets are from me, my mum and my dad.
I know xmas shouldn’t be about getting gifts but I’m so upset they aren’t buying for my daughter as they’ve overspent on their Xmas do’s etc.
One bro has bought spas days for step
Mother and step sisters (2), other has bought for 3 of his friends kids.
We are close, have a good relationship... so why don’t they love their niece enough to buy for her when they spend so much on others?!!!!

Aibu to give them their tshirts that I’ve already wrapped then take them back after they’ve opened them if they do not produce a gift for my dd?? I would spend the money on taking my dd out somewhere before she goes back to school.

I’d never expect a gift for me from them, I host them here on Xmas day, they’re just cf aren’t they?!

Don’t do this.

Speak to them like an actual adult instead. If you make a scene like that it’ll mean everyone is talking about that rather than the fact they both left out a small child at Christmas.

You risk people leaving after your showdown and people will call it the Xmas that you started an argument rather than the Xmas where the brothers forgot their niece.

What heartstrings said.

Also are you totally sure they haven't got her anything? It's only Xmas Eve still time.

It's petty. I have no children but am expected to buy my thousands of nieces and nephews without a card in return!!!

Quite surprised people are so concerned about the feelings of 2 fully grown adults. So what if they are embarrassed! They should be! They caused this!

I would take the gifts back today then buy 2 gifts for my daughter. Wrap them and label them from your brothers. Tomorrow, give your brothers the gifts and explain that your DD doesn't get much and it would mean a lot to her so please give her these and pretend they are from you.

That way your daughter gets a nice gift from both of her uncles, you don't look ungrateful, they don't get a gift they don't deserve and they would be made of actual stone if that didn't make them feel AWFUL and buck up next year.

Take the t-shirts back for a refund. Use the money to buy your daughter another couple of presents to unwrap. Anything else will cause a nasty atmosphere and arguments. Your brothers are thoughtless. Have you actually asked them if they're going to be giving your daughter a Christmas present?

I agree with everyone else.

I'm not in the slightest bit concerned with the feelings of your brothers - they sound like twats. What I think will happen though, is that the attention will shift from them being the ones in the wrong, to them being the wounded party by your stunt. Which is wrong. They've been rude.

It's totally understandable you're angry - I would be too. Just tell them or don't give them the gifts at all.

You are planning to cause ill-feeling at the family gathering.

Is that the sort of Christmas your daughter would best enjoy?

Not that her preferences matter as much as your grudges!

Refund the gifts, use the money on presents for you daughter. Done! No point in being petty, it's Christmas.

You have obviously made up your mind so pointless posting. Go ahead cause a scene and make yourself look like a petty petulant child.

Grow up fgs!

User1946s idea is great - Id go with that. Don’t give the presents and then take it back, it’s just going to come across very petty and they might not even get the message just be thinking wtf

Give them the gifts but quietly explain what you've said in your OP. Let them know how upset you are on your daughter's behalf and that it was a financial stretch for you to get them a gift. Take the moral high road.

Are you sure your mum won't have lit a fire under them to sort out presents today? You might be worrying about nothing.

You’ll just look like a total arsehole. And a nutjob too.

Refund the presents.

Text them today “hi brothers. Short of money this year and obviously want to prioritise . Just warning you that I won’t be doing presents for you tomorrow”.

You could say “okay brothers why don’t you give your gifts to niece first and then she can give you yours...”

I think your plan is more about making a scene than and would cause an upset which would linger over dinner - spoiling a meal you've worked hard for, for everyone.

I wouldn't given them the gifts though, and I'd possibly also make a point about it being rude to turn up expecting to be fed an elaborate meal empty handed. Assuming they don't bring a bottle or something at least.

I think it probably questions whether you should even be offering to host next year. But make Christmas about your daughter not a couple of scroungers.

Quite surprised people are so concerned about the feelings of 2 fully grown adults. So what if they are embarrassed! They should be! They caused this!

No, you will cause it if you insist on going ahead with a ridiculously childish and petty way of making a point. You’ll embarrass your child and make anyone else in the room feel uncomfortable and completely ruin Christmas. Over a present.

I'm with waxy. I think you would be more likely to embarrass yourself by doing this. This actually happend to me as well. I gave my relative a gift knowing they had missed dcs Xmas and birthday but next year i wont bother.

Just don’t give them anything.

You're being incredibly childish! Grow up 🙄

You’re behaving like a child. Either give the presents or don’t give them, don’t take them away after they’ve been opened!

Then next year-have a grown up discussion with your brothers about who is buying presents for who.

Christ, it sounds like a shit EastEnders Christmas storyline!!

I'm not really sure why you are asking as you are clearly already decided on making yourself look ridiculous on xmas day, so crack on. Just hope your poor DD isn't upset by the ensuing drama that you orchestrate.

I’m a skint single parent and I have bought them a nice tshirt each from Next. Can’t afford it, but it’s xmas.

Well to begin with, that was a bit silly. If you can't afford an expensive T shirt you should have bought something else, just a token. Especially if you are expecting nothing for yourself in return.

But, like all PP, can I urge you not to do the taking back thing. That will put you in the wrong.

Just wait and see, they may still buy your DD something today and turn up with it. If so, give the gift. If not then quietly return it to the shop after Christmas

Take the T-shirts back and exchange them for something for your daughter. If they ask where their presents are tomorrow you can say that you were under the impression that they were not doing gifts this year.