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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate my tight-arsed colleagues?

192 replies

JumperJapes · 21/12/2018 14:34

NC as outing.

AIBU to absolutely despise my colleagues? We had a Christmas Jumper Day last week, £2 suggested donation to local charity. About 60-70 staff on site, about 80% wore jumpers. Charity box in staff room.
We raised £32.
How can people wear the jumpers, join in on the fun but not put a couple of quid in for charity? How mean and tight can you be?

OP posts:
SneakyGremlinsBrokeTheSleigh · 21/12/2018 14:36

How do you know everyone can afford it?

Dreamingofkfc · 21/12/2018 14:37

£2 seems alot. And at this time of year there's Xmas jumper day at school and nursery, plus all the other little expenses...it all adds up.

BreakYourselfAgainstMyStones · 21/12/2018 14:39

I have 4 kids in school, when you add up everything their schools do that's 'just' £2 here and £1 there it costs a bloody fortune. I wouldn't expect it at work too.

Joinourclub · 21/12/2018 14:40

£2 does seem a lot for the pleasure of wearing your Christmas jumper at Christmas. £32 means that everyone chucked in 50p which seems fair enough at an expensive time of year.

megletthesecond · 21/12/2018 14:42

Maybe they forgot? Would they have their wallets on them in the staff room? I wouldn't, and I'd possibly forget to pop back in with the money.

ThunderInMyHeart · 21/12/2018 14:44

I find myself in a pickle when we have collections at my office...I just don't use cash any more; so, to give £2, I have to go to an ATM, get out £10 and then find something to break it on.

Honestly, if the collectors came round with a card reader, I think more people would donate.

greendale17 · 21/12/2018 14:45

YANBU OP- £2 really is nothing to most adults. So only 16 people out of say 50 donated? Stingy

Topseyt · 21/12/2018 14:45

I get what you mean, but don't despise them.

If they have children at school then they have almost certainly spent several weeks shelling out a couple of quid here, a couple of quid there, raffle tickets here, Christmas tombola there. Believe me, you can lose the will to live with it all.

TheFifthKey · 21/12/2018 14:49

I always get in trouble for not signing up to things in the staff room because it’s in a different building and I only ever nip over to make a cup of tea so I never have a pen! I certainly never have my purse on me. I guess I’d put money in a box of someone came round with it but the last three weeks I’ve had so much to remember to do every day I know I’ve missed stuff (totally forgot to write cards out for colleagues and it’s our last day today, for example...)

BrightYellowDaffodil · 21/12/2018 14:53

YABU. You can’t demand that people donate, and they possibly wore their jumpers (which they are perfectly entitled to wear without paying) in order to fit in. You don’t know what goes on in other people’s lives that means that that money is too much of an ask, and you also don’t know whether they chose to support a different charity privately.

Oysterbabe · 21/12/2018 14:55

I think a lot of people probably intended to donate but had no cash. I rarely carry cash.

xwhoiamx · 21/12/2018 14:58

I wouldn't dream of wearing my Xmas jumper without paying up. I'd come without it. I assume there is a dress code normally and those making the charity donation were permitted to break it for that day? It's CFery to break the dress code and not pay up. If you're ashamed at not having the money/not wanting to donate just make out like you forgot/dog was sick on it?

SumitosIsMyWall · 21/12/2018 15:00

YABU

You have no idea about their personal financial situation or their charitable deeds. Most people participate in forced 'fun' like Christmas jumper day because it's easier than defending why you haven't all day!

I was called all sorts of scrooge this year because I wouldn't take part in Secret Santa. I couldn't be bothered to tell them I'd spent double of the Secret Santa amount in a donation to the local food bank instead. None of their business.

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 21/12/2018 15:01

I'm certainly not alone in thinking wearing a Christmas jumper is not 'joining in with the fun'. I don't particularly enjoy wearing my hideous, scratchy number, but won't buy a more expensive one which'll be worn once a year. It now feels like it's compulsory to wear them on Christmas jumper day. I'd probably pay up ('it's for charidee'), but otoh, if it was a charity that I didn't normally support I might not.

themoomoo · 21/12/2018 15:05

Do you really think grown ups find it "fun" to wear a christmas jumper?
They probably felt they had to wear the bloody things but didn't want to pay for the joy of such "fun"

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 21/12/2018 15:08

I do think if you dont want to get involved thats fine, but poor show to wear the jumper and not donate.

Foslady · 21/12/2018 15:09

I don’t own a Christmas jumper. Rather than pay £15 for one, I buy £15 worth of food and toiletries and put them in the works Foodbank collection instead.
You might think I’m being a sanctimonious twat, I think I’m being practical - £15 to a shop to pay £2 to charity? No thanks

Berthatydfil · 21/12/2018 15:12

YABU.
I work in a large office - we have something similar at least once a month or more often sometimes. It mounts up.
I think it’s unreasonable to expect contributions from everyone.
Some people give to favoured charities for personal reasons and this may not include this charity. Also you may not know their personal circumstances - they may also be giving to school dress down days etc several times over if they have more than one child, it could be that they just can’t afford it at this time of year.

SweetNorthernRose · 21/12/2018 15:13

YANBU. So they can remember it's christmas jumper day to wear one (and have enough disposable income to buy a silly jumper they'll only wear once a year) but can't remember to bring money to donate?
If you can't afford to donate, just don't wear a Christmas jumper. Simple.

Original poster
JumperJapes · 21/12/2018 15:13

If they didn't want to/couldn't afford £2, they should have worn 'normal' clothes.

OP posts:
carrotflinger · 21/12/2018 15:14

The "suggested" donation was 2 quid. So it wasn't compulsory.
I can't stand these things where you are forced into donating to a particular charity. That's aside from the fact that 2 quid might be a lot of money for some people at this time of year - obviously, on its own it isn't - but they might have had to fork out for various other jumper days and enforced fun and games for their children at school, husband/wife at their work etcetc. It all adds up.
I donate every Christmas to a particular charity I have chosen. I donate a lot more than 2 pounds. That's my choice and my business. I don't want to have to start donating here there and everywhere and end up spending too much.

And I think YA definitely BU to "despise" your colleagues over something like that. Disappointed or annoyed or something else but "despise" them?? You don't know what their personal circumstances are.

Poloshot · 21/12/2018 15:16

I can never be bothered with this stuff, people are there to work. Then again if they wear one they should pay.

Fairyliz · 21/12/2018 15:16

Oh god another thread with posters saying oh they probably can't afford it I expect they are going without food to buy a present from poundland for their poor disabled children (cue violins playing).

You say staff room so I assume a school? Having worked in a school and talked to staff about their holidays/five bedroomed houses/new cars/gadgets etc I am convinced more than 16 could have paid.

You are not being unreasonable they are tight arses.

Original poster
JumperJapes · 21/12/2018 15:16

And I do clearly work with people who think it's 'fun' to dress down, as they asked me if they could do so on Christmas Eve (no charge!).

OP posts:
Jaxhog · 21/12/2018 15:16

I thought giving to Charity was optional? I give a whole lot more than this, but to charities of my own choosing. Maybe they do too?

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