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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hate my tight-arsed colleagues?

192 replies

JumperJapes · 21/12/2018 14:34

NC as outing.

AIBU to absolutely despise my colleagues? We had a Christmas Jumper Day last week, £2 suggested donation to local charity. About 60-70 staff on site, about 80% wore jumpers. Charity box in staff room.
We raised £32.
How can people wear the jumpers, join in on the fun but not put a couple of quid in for charity? How mean and tight can you be?

OP posts:

NutElla5x · 22/12/2018 18:54

Maybe they were skint after having to fork out for a Christmas jumper?

Meinmytree · 22/12/2018 19:30

We did this at work, there was also the option to donate via text for those with no cash (only I managed to leave my phone at home too...)

I didn't have any cash, so paid for something with card over the weekend, got £10 back, then gave my money as they were counting the cash so I could get change.

manicmij · 22/12/2018 19:45

YABU If most wore a jersey then at least they entered into the festive spirit. The jersey may well have been an new expense and the addition of £2 maybe just a bit much. Some will say if they can afford a jumper then they can afford the donation but perhaps they didn't want to appear as the Bah Humbug of the place. Yes, instead of spending on a jumper they could have donated to the charity but it was everyone's choice as to what they did.
.

Touchmybum · 22/12/2018 20:03

I agree with you Jumper. I think that's a pathetic amount for the numbers involved.

I didn't wear a Christmas jumper to work but I still threw my £1 in the bucket (maybe £1 would be more realistic next year?)

I also bought my breakfast (delivered in for all of us) and chucked a contribution into yet another bucket for the cleaners etc.

These things are a drop in the ocean compared to other Christmas expenses. I think it's just disingenuous to rock up like Mother Christmas in your Christmas jumper yet fail to contribute to the chosen charity. Merry bloody Christmas!!!

Deidre21 · 22/12/2018 20:32

Good idea Foslady

NotBeforeCoffee · 22/12/2018 21:13

In my work there’s constant emails going out asking for charity donations. Then envelopes for people who are leaving or moving department or had a baby etc etc (paper money expected).
You’re constantly asked for money, it’s too much.

One colleague did a sponsored run in New York. She raised £800. But the trip cost her £1000. That’s ridiculous, she could have just given the £1000 to charity instead of bothering us all and increasing her carbon footprint

The Christmas jumper thing is a joke. You have to shell out for an item of clothing that you’ll wear once, very wasteful. Then you have to shell out again for the charity

BoneyBackJefferson · 22/12/2018 21:50

@Touchmybum

I'm sure that @JumperJapes will accept your donation as you feel this way about it.

Ellisandra · 22/12/2018 21:55

Some will have planned to donate and forgot.
Some planned then didn’t have cash.
Some could not afford to.
Some could afford to but didn’t want to, but didn’t want to stand out by not wearing a stupid bloody “we’re so funny” jumper.
Some were annoyed because they’d already had to spend more than £2 on said jumper that they didn’t want, to fit in - and made a stand internally by not donating.

And maybe, someone, just one person, sad running their hands with glee thinking “I’ve got my jumper on - and I fucked the charity over! Go me!”
Not many though. Maybe not even one

NotBeforeCoffee · 22/12/2018 22:20

Also, I used to work for a couple of charities and so I have some inside knowledge about some who have practices that I don't agree with. If someone at work told me to donate to one of them, I wouldn't.

In general you shouldn't encourage giving cash to charities. Cash is untraceable and there are a surprising amount of fake charities that collect in buckets on the street.
Also if you collect in cash like this you can't gift aid it so the charity loses put by 20%.

If you want to donate to charity it's a good idea to thoroughly research the charity and how their donations are used and then do it on line and gift aid it

BoomBoomsCousin · 22/12/2018 22:21

@CrispsSandwiches It’s none of your business who people donate to. Trying to shame people into it is nasty. Don’t make out that anyone who doesn’t put money in the pot is some kind of tight-fisted scrouge. You have no idea what they give or what their means are.

JuneBuggy · 22/12/2018 22:57

My workplace has recently started doing dress down Fridays at the end of each month (which often lands before payday) in the name of ‘morale boosting’. However, everyone is expected to pay £2 which is split between a charity related to the sector I work in and another that seems to be randomly selected on each occasion.

I don’t pay it - my job means I’m regularly in “dress down” style clothes anyway and I don’t want to pay to wear my own clothes I’d usually wear to work. I support a number of other charities that have more personal meaning to me and my family, so I don’t lose sleep over it.

KeiTeNgeNge · 22/12/2018 23:03

I hate these collections. I could not believe how many collections school asked for when we moved to the UK - it was a nightmare! We were barely keeping our noses above water and each week was a bloody collection that we couldn’t refuse because then our children would be singled out. And then all the work collections on top was just ridiculous.

DamageControl · 23/12/2018 01:15

We did the exact same thing at my work, except they had neglected to say where the collection box was. Organiser wasn't there, asked three people, nobody knew where the money was supposed to go. Finally someone mentioned that they had noticed a collection tin at the building reception, and that she'd just put hers in there (so I did too!).

Is it possible the same thing had happened? That people just didn't know where the money was supposed to go?

catx1606 · 23/12/2018 09:31

I don't have a Christmas jumper and refuse to buy one as I'd would only wear it once a year. I also will only donate to a charity of my choice, I will not be forced into donating just because I was asked to and because everyone else is. How do you know who didn't donate? They may have worn a jumper and only donated a very small amount. Remember, £2 was suggested, so really they can donate how much they want. Maybe they wore one so people didn't question them. As for those saying about people not affording £2 but spending hundreds on their Children's Christmas presents, maybe they had saved up all year round for those presents. Besides, an adults children is going to be far more important to them then a charity unless it directly affects them. Also some people like wearing Christmas jumpers because they like wearing them. Maybe they put 20p to keep work quiet but already donate monthly to a charity of their choice. The charity certainly won't turn their nose up at the amount raised. Maybe they've had that jumper for a while, maybe it was bought for them.

As for birthday collections,. I hated them, I would look in the envelope and see notes and feel quite mean with my £2 but the placebo work in now does a different thing which means everyone puts the same amount in. They have a irthday club, you choose whether you want to be in it and it's £2 each for normal birthdays and £3 for big ones. At the start of each month, they let you know what cards are there and you can go Nd look at the birthday list at any time so you know what's coming. That way, everyone put in the same.

Touchmybum · 23/12/2018 21:06

No need @BoneyBackJefferson, as I said, I was happy to throw my quid in the bucket in my place of work, don't think I need to contribute to anyone else's thanks.

Stompythedinosaur · 23/12/2018 21:12

My NHS trust do a Christmas jumper day, but want us to donate to their in house charity, which I do not support (the money gets spent on things I disagree with, and mainly used to provide publicity for the trust). I can't really not wear a jumper as I work with kids who want everyone to join it, so I donate my money to a different charity instead (normally wateraid).

Any chance there's something like that going on?

Anothermothersusername · 23/12/2018 21:15

You have no idea what people’s financial situations are like. They could be struggling to pay for Christmas which must be a lot of pressure especially if you have young children. If I was in that position then I wouldn’t be shelling out money to charity. Christmas is an expensive time of year and it’s a lot of pressure. Plus it feels like these days there are always people asking for charity contributions. You can’t donate to everything. It doesn’t happen so often anymore but there used to be a lot of charity collections at my work place and I hated it because I felt put on the spot. Plus if you are not wearing a Christmas jumper it instantly makes you look like a tight wad because you haven’t donated.

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