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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate my tight-arsed colleagues?

192 replies

JumperJapes · 21/12/2018 14:34

NC as outing.

AIBU to absolutely despise my colleagues? We had a Christmas Jumper Day last week, £2 suggested donation to local charity. About 60-70 staff on site, about 80% wore jumpers. Charity box in staff room.
We raised £32.
How can people wear the jumpers, join in on the fun but not put a couple of quid in for charity? How mean and tight can you be?

OP posts:
adaline · 21/12/2018 17:50

@Janecon but you still can't tell grown adults that they have to donate £2 to a specific charity in order to wear a Christmas Jumper!

Why not just look at it positively - OP raised some money (which is better than no money) and leave it at that?

Hulloa · 21/12/2018 17:50

People spending their money as they wish shock horror.

I hate Xmas jumper day. Spend money on something I wear once a year made by children earning 50p a day and then give money so that charity staff can spend it on prostitutes. Yeah, great.

Perfectly1mperfect · 21/12/2018 17:53

I would feel very cheeky wearing a Xmas jumper and not giving at least the suggested donation but some people don't.

I used to work at a place where many people earnt way above average wage. The highest earners were often the least reluctant to donate/gave nothing/gave very little to charity collections and any collections that went around for somebody leaving/having a baby etc. One particular lady earnt £50000+ and put 2p in a collection. Shock If someone is genuinely struggling, that's different, but often the people who didn't give or gave very little were the first to the pub on a Friday lunchtime and had the nicest cars etc. Some people just don't have a conscience and don't think of those less fortunate.

BoneyBackJefferson · 21/12/2018 17:55

I admit that I hate charity at work events partially because of people that have threads like this.

But mainly because one year they decided that not only would you have to pay £2 to wear a stupid jumper but you would also have to pay £2 to opt out. The back slapping was audible.

As was the complaints from those of us that complained about being chased for money. Especially as they sent the children around with a bucket to do it.

Hulloa · 21/12/2018 17:55

And as for the "cheaper than a cup of coffee" argument, my jar of L'Or costs £3.50 and lasts me two months so, no, it isn't.

user10001999 · 21/12/2018 17:57

Like the op has said it wasn't compulsory didn't need to wear a Christmas jumper it's a bit of optional fun . So if you remembered the Christmas jumper you remember the £2 if you don't want to pay £2 wear your ordinary clothes and stop being a tight arse .

Janecon · 21/12/2018 17:57

I collect for the local hospice - one of those people you see shaking a bucket when you do your Xmas shopping. After years of collecting I can see that often those who can least afford it give most. People who seem to have nothing will dip into their pockets. Some have tears in their eyes and tell me about how the hospice cared for their mum/dad/loved one. I find the comment about prostitutes a bit unnecessary.

Hulloa · 21/12/2018 18:00

The comment about prostitutes is entirely necessary given that the charity behind Xmas jumper day uses them.

Janecon · 21/12/2018 18:00

@Hulloa I did say cheaper than a cup of coffee in Costa, not coffee made at home (not relevant but I don't pay Costa prices either!)

ADastardlyThing · 21/12/2018 18:02

User, and have everyone moan that you're a misery for not wearing one? Cos that will be next year's aibu from op.

I'd much rather carry on what I'm doing, smug in the knowledge that I already donate a fair whack to charity.

ForalltheSaints · 21/12/2018 18:03

Better to donate to charity as I did than spending money on a jumper you only wear once or twice a year.

Though if you take part, 50p seems a bit mean to me.

Hulloa · 21/12/2018 18:04

Costa coffee is expensive though! It's a pretty poor argument to say that a thing is cheaper than something expensive. It's cheaper than first class plane travel and diamonds as well. Still doesn't mean that I want to give up the right to decide what to do with my own money that I go to work to earn.

Fairylightfurore · 21/12/2018 18:09

Personally I have a give as you earn set up and have done for about 15 years or whenever it came in. I would rather charities have a regular income. As it come straight from my pay I never miss it. I rarely have a few quid spare to just chuck in the charity box though, especially this time of year. Had to penny count to go for a festive half pint with the team after work and can't afford Christmas do's etc. School donations cost a small fortune, so please don't judge. You don't know why people didn't put in.

winsinbin · 21/12/2018 18:10

A bit off topic but it really annoys me when people say someone can afford ‘just’ £2 or whatever. I am financially comfortable now but for many years I lived an a very, very tight budget and to find an unbudgeted £2 would have meant sacrificing food or taking money out of the funds allocated for upcoming bills. I didn’t have a spare £2 or even £1 to scrape together for unscheduled donations. I had to be super strict with myself to avoid going into debt.

I know PP have said that OPs colleagues shouldn’t have participated if they didn’t want to contribute but some people find being hard up embarrassing or even shameful and would prefer to cover it up by joining in.

PixieCutRegret · 21/12/2018 18:11

I am a SAHM at the moment, but when I was working I went to work to earn money, not spend it so no I didn't give to work events like this (I had a couple of charity direct debits of my own choosing though). I probably would have worn the jumper though as it's considered so important these days to look like a team player.

Hulloa · 21/12/2018 18:15

Exactly. Not wearing a jumper marks you out as non compliant so of course you have to do it. Which is shit in itself anyway. You can still decide whether or not to put money in the box though and no reason is necessary.

Ethel36 · 21/12/2018 18:21

I think you're being unreasonable as you don't know people's outgoings. This time of year can be very hard financially for some people. Someone I knew confided in me last January that she was in debt from christmas so her family ended up without food. She works, lives in an affluent area, drives a nice car and looks very well to do, so i was suprised. Luckily her parents helped out. But it just goes to show we know nothing about peoples financial situations. In your case most people probably chucked in 50 pence, or what ever change they had at the time. Which is fair enough. I think £2 was a big ask to be honest.

JingsMahBucket · 21/12/2018 18:22

@JumperJapes YANBU and your colleagues are totally a bunch of miserable tight asses.

Also, stop repeating yourself. Most of the posters attacking you are being deliberately obtuse and deliberately missing your point. The amount of weasel-y excuses they keep making for not donating is absurd. Sure some people will not be able to afford it but not 35 out of the 50 people who deliberately wore jumpers as a way to get out of the regular dress code! That's really pathetic, honestly.

JingsMahBucket · 21/12/2018 18:25

@Hulloa
Exactly. Not wearing a jumper marks you out as non compliant so of course you have to do it.

No you don't have to do it. I don't have one, never had one and will never buy one. I would still have put in £2 though because it's only freaking two pounds.

TheDowagerCuntess · 21/12/2018 18:29

I'm slightly amazed that £2 is considered prohibitively expensive for someone in a job.

If it is, then throw in a few pence from down the back of the sofa, at least.

My guess is the same as many people - nobody carries cash/change any more. Not saying that excuses it.

Hulloa · 21/12/2018 18:34

Lol @ wearing a jumper to get out of the dress code. It's not a treat. Putting on regular clothes is much easier.

As for excuses being not justified, nobody should have to justify to anyone how they choose to spend money they work to earn.

For example, I personally would be pretty likely to donate to janecon's charity. I'd never give money to save the children though. One woman I work with doesn't agree with homeless charities. Another won't donate to anything unless it involves animals. And fair fucks to them whether I agree with them or not because it's their money and therefore none of my business. How someone can come onto a thread and say what a stranger's colleagues should do with their wages just flummoxes me.

BoneyBackJefferson · 21/12/2018 18:41

For those saying that people are excusing or justifying their not giving money.

Its those that judge and think that they have some sort of right to know why that is the reason why people do it.

Maybe you shouldn't judge those that don't give and stop believing that you are someone that deserves to know.

chipsandpeas · 21/12/2018 18:45

i wouldnt have paid, but iw ouldnt have worn a jumper
cos its all bollocks, christmas jumpers have been around a long time before charity has decided to jump onto it to make a day out of it

Ruddle91 · 21/12/2018 18:57

I make donations to a charity of my choice at an amount I can afford. With all the "days" at work and people wanting sponsored even £2 each would upto £40 just for my work + DS nursery doing days and DHs school. No thanks.

Monkeynuts18 · 21/12/2018 19:12

You’ve just made me realise that we had a collection today but I didn’t donate - no one came around collecting so I just forgot.