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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate my tight-arsed colleagues?

192 replies

JumperJapes · 21/12/2018 14:34

NC as outing.

AIBU to absolutely despise my colleagues? We had a Christmas Jumper Day last week, £2 suggested donation to local charity. About 60-70 staff on site, about 80% wore jumpers. Charity box in staff room.
We raised £32.
How can people wear the jumpers, join in on the fun but not put a couple of quid in for charity? How mean and tight can you be?

OP posts:
TheGhostsOfPresidentsYetToCome · 21/12/2018 15:17

We all wore ours at work last week. I wasn't in that day, just popped in for the Christmas lunch so I text the Christmas jumper donation number instead. Maybe some did that?

Heartofglass21 · 21/12/2018 15:17

I made it clear at work that I no longer donate to corporate charities like Save The Children and Children In Need, therefore will not wear a Christmas jumper or join in any daft fun-raising games with Pudsey the bear. I give plenty of money and time to local charities. However, when my DC were at school, I would let them wear Christmas jumpers and provide them with the necessary donation to charity, otherwise they would have felt excluded. Having done that, for 4 children over the years, I feel able to say no to Christmas jumper days and the like, as an adult.

That being said, if someone wore a Christmas jumper, knowing it was to raise funds for Save The Children, and didn't donate, then that's mean. But £2 as a suggested donation is a lot, at this time of year, when we all have a lot of other expenses. It should be whatever people can afford to give.

It's like when we have collections where I work, for birthdays/weddings/leaving presents/retirement gifts - the envelope comes round and people write on it how much they have given. It makes me feel tightfisted to put in 50p after everyone else appears to have given £2 - £5. I'm not tightfisted either, just not wealthy, and have a lot of financial commitments.

Deathraystare · 21/12/2018 15:18

YANBU OP- £2 really is nothing to most adults. So only 16 people out of say 50 donated? Stingy

Well it is to me! It would get me a bag of spuds!

Cornettoninja · 21/12/2018 15:19

I think you’re veering into UR tbh. Work stuff adds up - secret santa, buffets, drinks, cards - it can be neverending at an already expensive time of year.

I think if you want to raise more money for a particular charity it might be best to try at a time of year where everyone’s feeling like their Bank account is taking a beating.

Easter cakes, Halloween decoration/costumes, sweepstakes for sporting events...

Thespace · 21/12/2018 15:20

Surely it’s more likely that they forgot/meant to donate and didn’t get round to it than they were too tight.

XmasHolly · 21/12/2018 15:21

This could be for many reasons including it's not their preferred charity, they didn't get a say, already donate, political reasons, they can think of better causes, sheer bloody mindedness, no money on them, can't afford it, already stretched too far financially, many more plus just can't be arsed.

adaline · 21/12/2018 15:21

You can't force people to donate though. You raised some money - that's a good thing, isn't it?

Original poster
JumperJapes · 21/12/2018 15:22

It wasn't a national charity, it was a local hospice.
It's the fact they wore the jumpers but didn't put the money in that is so annoying. Just wear your suit then you miserable git!

OP posts:
AGHHHH · 21/12/2018 15:23

£2 to wear a Christmas jumper!

I'd probably have paid 50p - £1 but no more.

timeisnotaline · 21/12/2018 15:24

It does depend on the ops work. I know £2 is nothing to at least 99% of my colleagues, so if it were my work would completely agree the donation level is crap. Tbh I would call them out on it and say passing the bucket around again in jan, expect more this time as you will all be trying to be healthy so can throw in your beer money! (Again knowing this kind of amount is not marginalising anyone in my team)

AWishForWingsThatWork · 21/12/2018 15:26

YABU. I donate quietly to charities that I choose to support, not charities that others are trying to force me to support. I have my own charity budget and I'll spend it where I see fit, thank you very much.

goldengummybear · 21/12/2018 15:29

Playing devil's advocate but maybe they didn't have change? Lots of people only use cards to buy stuff.

Pinkgrapefruit167 · 21/12/2018 15:30

If you can’t afford £2 then don’t buy a Christmas jumper, which costs more than £2

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 21/12/2018 15:31

But surely 'SUGGESTED donation' means that it is not a compulsory charge..? As many others have pointed out, you have no way of knowing whether people can actually afford to give the donation suggested (suggested by whom, I wonder?)

Jenny17 · 21/12/2018 15:32

I hate people who think they can dictate what I do with my money. I also hate wearing xmas jumpers as I think they are wasteful.

YABU nobody can be forced to donate.

Original poster
JumperJapes · 21/12/2018 15:33

I get that @goldengummybear, I normally pay for everything on card. But surely you'd scrape some cash together if you knew you needed it?

Those saying "no-one tells me which charities to support, thank you very much", would you have come to work in the jumper anyway?

OP posts:
Thentherewascake · 21/12/2018 15:38

They should pay ME to wear these monstrosities.

I wear one when I have to to look like I am getting involved in the fun Hmm
I am not paying £2 or 10p for the privilege of going to work. I give to my chosen charities in my own terms. I do donate when there's cake, because someone went to a lot of effort - and expenses or went to Tesco so it's only fair.

Pay for jumper day? hell no.

Hmmmbiscuits · 21/12/2018 15:38

I didn't do it either. Just didn't wear the jumper, so didn't have to, and I don't have one anyway.

I have donated food to a food bank though, as that's how I intended to give to charity. You don't really know what other people have given elsewhere. Pepe should be able to wear what they want and give what they want to the cause they want to give to. If I gave money to every charity thing that crossed my path in the last two weeks, I wouldn't have been able to eat this Christmas myself!

Cornettoninja · 21/12/2018 15:39

But your charity doesn’t own the concept of Christmas jumpers. You’re starting to sound pretty mean yourself tbh.

biggidybon · 21/12/2018 15:41

Are you one of those offices which has fundraising almost every week? (I'd have paid FYI but might be a reason why some didn't)

formerbabe · 21/12/2018 15:44

I don't give to charity...I don't give a fuck what anyone thinks about that. I have my reasons.

However, If my DC have a charity day at school, I give them whatever change/donation is requested.

£2 might not sound like a lot but at this time of year, there's constant demands for money which can get wearing. Plus, lots of people don't carry cash, so they'll have to get a tenner out the cash point..then buy something to get change...it's a pain

Dixiechickonhols · 21/12/2018 15:45

I’m sure lots will have just forgotten. Are you allowed to send an email to everyone saying Thank you to everyone who has donated £32 raised so far for hospice from Xmas jumper day. If anyone would still like to donate tin will be in kitchen until 4pm today or whatever.

adaline · 21/12/2018 15:46

Those saying "no-one tells me which charities to support, thank you very much", would you have come to work in the jumper anyway?

Yep, because aren't dress up for charity days the kind of thing you do when you're seven in primary school?

BreakYourselfAgainstMyStones · 21/12/2018 15:47

You're already saying you hate them for being tight arses. No wonder they wore jumpers, you would be calling them tight arses for not joining in the super fantastic fun if they didn't anyway.

EssentialHummus · 21/12/2018 15:48

I think you need someone to go around shaking the bucket and your donations will increase - just leaving a tin there for donations means that some will forget/think to do it later/whatever.