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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate my tight-arsed colleagues?

192 replies

JumperJapes · 21/12/2018 14:34

NC as outing.

AIBU to absolutely despise my colleagues? We had a Christmas Jumper Day last week, £2 suggested donation to local charity. About 60-70 staff on site, about 80% wore jumpers. Charity box in staff room.
We raised £32.
How can people wear the jumpers, join in on the fun but not put a couple of quid in for charity? How mean and tight can you be?

OP posts:
NotACleverName · 21/12/2018 17:15

What part of suggested (so not compulsory) donation is difficult for you to understand, OP?

YABU.

Original poster
JumperJapes · 21/12/2018 17:23

The wording was "Charity Christmas jumper day (suggested donation £2)" as in you could give more or less than £2, people obviously decided less was the preferred option!

OP posts:
Mumminmum · 21/12/2018 17:23

Two of my managers did sport for charity. I donated £10 and another coworker was disgusted I hadn't given more. I had a low paying part time job and felt forced to give anything at all. She had given £ 20 to each of them. But she worked full time and still lived home with mommy and daddy free of charge (and behaved like a teenager even though she was in her mid twenties)

RedSkyLastNight · 21/12/2018 17:25

I never have cash for these things.
I do donate to charity (and gift aid it, so better for the charity). I don't advertise the fact that I donate to charity though ... so you'd probably decide I was tight.
You have absolutely no idea what people are doing/thinking.

SunnyTikka · 21/12/2018 17:26

I hear you, OP. I did a mini moan at work about people who say they aren't giving cards but are giving to charity instead. If you ask them what charity, they go bright red or stumble over words.

I would rather people just say they don't want to give cards, not give the excuse of charity when its a bloody lie.

Biscusting · 21/12/2018 17:28

Nope i’m Sorry but the ‘they may have kids at home with multiple charity events’ or ‘£2 is a lot to some people’

Bull shit! Xmas jumpers are at least £10, I’m sure a proportion of the non donators bought new.

I’m skint, as I’m sure most people are at this time of year, yet I’m sure most people know that charitable donations occur more frequently at this time of year and surely can manage to throw a few pennies in the pot.

Original poster
JumperJapes · 21/12/2018 17:28

I honestly don't know how many times I have to repeat that this is what I am annoyed at:
Don't wear the Christmas Jumper on "Charity Christmas Jumper Day" if you aren't going to donate to charity.

OP posts:
Rafflesway · 21/12/2018 17:29

She sounds like a professional a*licker to me Mumminmum.

£10 is a huge donation from someone in a low paying, PT job.

Your co-worker is a fist class cow as well as a brown nose

Therealjudgejudy · 21/12/2018 17:32

To hate and despise? Bit of a strong reaction to something so tribal. Relax op. Try yoga maybe Grin

Rafflesway · 21/12/2018 17:32

First although in your co-worker's case maybe fist IS more appropriate, Mumminmum.

Foslady · 21/12/2018 17:32

Only on MN where the average salary seems to be £100k+ and people get 50% salary Christmas bonuses, can £2 also be a fortune.

But your workplace isn’t Mumsnet - and my salary (and up until recently I was a lone parent) isn’t even a fifth of that, which I expect is actually closer to the mark for most workplace salaries.

AnchorDownDeepBreath · 21/12/2018 17:33

My annoyance with my colleagues is the fact they did wear the jumper but didn't donate, not that they didn't donate.

But the two weren't linked in your phrasing. You needed to remove the reference to a suggested donation if they were; so that everyone knew that wearing a Christmas jumper = £2 fee and could choose whether or not to get involved. The people who did wear a jumper you could have hassled for a donation a few times so they went to get cash out.

You didn't. It said; wear a Christmas jumper and if you want to; put £2 in the pot. They may have had no cash or just feel that they've donated enough having given to their other halves and kids and everybody else wearing a Christmas jumper for charity and doing all the fayres... but it doesn't matter, really, 64 people might have given 50p each... it wasn't compulsory and they didn't do it.

At my work, it's not a suggested donation; it's a fee. And you'll be hounded hourly by a woman with a bucket who hovers awkwardly until you pay; which usually means a colleague with cash pays for you. It's not £2 and it does take some manpower, but that's the only way it will work.

adaline · 21/12/2018 17:33

And people just don't get why you find it so annoying. Let grown adults where what they like and donate what they like and to the charities of their choosing!

Nobody was harmed by grown adults wearing Christmas jumpers!

ADastardlyThing · 21/12/2018 17:35

Nah you're alright op, I'll continue to wear my jumper I've worn for the past 5 years for one day so i don't look like I'm making a weird stand and continue to donate nearly £20 to charity via other initiatives.

carrotflinger · 21/12/2018 17:35

This has reminded me of my long forgotten (thank God) NQT year. I was absolutely past myself - there was this woman who constantly came round demanding money for things. Everyone had to pay 2 quid a week for tea/coffee in the staffroom. I didn't drink it back then so I asked if I still had to pay and she said yes because the money also bought the soap in the toilets.
Then everyone had to pay 2 quid a week for the "staff fund" which turned out to be for the nights out where everyone then got completely legless on the money that had been saved.
Then the school had a chosen charity - which lots do. It was this woman's favourite charity. Again 2 quid a week for that and it was compulsory. Other schools I've taught in also had a charity but there would be fundraising events for that - not every staff member having to fork out every week.

And after all of that the head was retiring and another woman started collecting. Teachers had to pay 10 pound a week from January to June and nursery nurses/TAs 5 pound a week. I just couldn't afford the 10 pound a week and asked to pay less as my salary was lower. That went down like a lead balloon.

And on top of that there were various charity events where you were forced to pay out. I had to save money on food in order to pay for everything.

Janecon · 21/12/2018 17:37

I agree with you OP. It's less than the price of a coffee at Costa. So many people saying that maybe most of them couldn't afford it yet I read a post on Mumsnet this morning where people were talking about how much they spend on their children and in many cases it was hundreds and hundreds of pounds.

Whilst there are some in your workplace that can't afford it I'm sure it's not the majority.

If it's any consolation I visited a workplace last week on Xmas jumper day and they raised more than double the suggested donation. Most of their staff are on less than the national average salary.

Original poster
JumperJapes · 21/12/2018 17:41

Thanks Janecon, your post has more sense and logic than many on here.

OP posts:
adaline · 21/12/2018 17:41

I agree with you OP. It's less than the price of a coffee at Costa.

But that's irrelevant. The point is, grown adults should be able to donate however much they like to whatever charity they like. It's not upto the OP or anyone else to dictate that.

delboysskinandblister · 21/12/2018 17:43

I volunteer for a charity which was founded to raise money for a local hospice, a nurse's salary and ambulances for the terminally ill.
The hospice will be very grateful for anything you can give because in our charity we know that 50p is actually a lot of money let alone £2. I even have a 10p box in the shop because people just don't have the money especially at this time of year.

It's in any charity's interest to encourage people to give and in our charity we deliberately keep the prices and overheads very very low. We do our own admin, we pay shop rent without concession, we use our own petrol for the rubbish tip, we don't take cards just cash only.

In these 'end of austerity' (cough) days we know that people rarely have cash to put in a till at the shop let alone a bucket at work.
Be mindful people have money for lunch and the car park and £2 can buy a lot of food. I did it the other night at the 7pm reductions in Tescos because £2 can buy our family 3 days food.

Please be thankful in this day and age that people have any ready cash and that everything adds up.

Well done for being kind enough to raise the money. I promise that the hospice will be very very grateful! Xmas Smile

Janecon · 21/12/2018 17:43

@adaline Of course they should. But if it's Xmas jumper day and the idea is to wear the jumper rather than your normal work attire and in return make a donation to charity then I think it's reasonable to make that donation. I certainly would and I honestly think most people I know would too.

SecretlyChartreuse · 21/12/2018 17:44

Please clarify as asked by a previous poster

Does wearing a Christmas jumper represent a relaxation of the dress code?

formerbabe · 21/12/2018 17:46

I agree with you OP. It's less than the price of a coffee

So what?! Lots of people don't buy takeaway coffee because they can't afford it.

delboysskinandblister · 21/12/2018 17:46

p.s to quote the old adage to raise even £32 for your chosen charity is ''better than a bee up your skirt''

I think it was Wordsworth...? Can't recall.

BoneyBackJefferson · 21/12/2018 17:48

SunnyTikka
I hear you, OP. I did a mini moan at work about people who say they aren't giving cards but are giving to charity instead

Maybe they wouldn't have to lie if people didn't ask them why they aren't doing something and tale the answer as given.

BoneyBackJefferson · 21/12/2018 17:49

It's less than the price of a coffee

Normally said by those trying to force guilt trip encourage people to pay.

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