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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not take my toddler to the pantomime?

196 replies

nomorearsingmermaids · 18/12/2018 16:35

A friend of mine with 2 DCs aged 6 and 9 has spare tickets to the panto as other people she was going with dropped out and she invited me to come with my DS who is 2.5. I very politely said thanks so much for the kind offer but that I didn't think he would enjoy it - he's pretty sensitive and he really hates crowds and loud noises. I also don't think he would sit still that long to be honest. My mum is a musician so we have been to our fair share of theatre type outings and he has never really enjoyed any of them, I usually have to take him out early.

Anyway now I received a very grumpy text from her saying that I was mollycoddling him and that he would most likely love it, and that even if he didn't it was something he had to get used to sooner or later.

I might consider taking him if he was old but he's 2.5 and I really don't want to shell out ££ for something I am 99% sure he won't enjoy. AIBU?

OP posts:

Buggeroffbingbunny · 18/12/2018 16:36

I wouldn’t take my 2.3 year old. He wouldn’t sit still, wouldn’t like the dark and would be a general nuisance!

kaytee87 · 18/12/2018 16:37

If they're spare tickets why would you need to shell out?

I wouldn't take my 2.5yo to a panto unless it was aimed at younger kids. Not because it was too loud or anything but I know he wouldn't sit still for the whole thing and he'd annoy everyone else there.

ChristmasTwatteryDoesMyHeadIn · 18/12/2018 16:38

Er no you’re not, she has no idea whether that’s true or not and she’s got fuck all right to dictate what your child does and doesn’t have to do. Tell her to find some other mug to sort out her cash shortfall and not to be such a gobshite.

Original poster

nomorearsingmermaids · 18/12/2018 16:38

If they're spare tickets why would you need to shell out?

She wants me to pay for them!

OP posts:

CmdrIvanova · 18/12/2018 16:40

She's just pissed off because she wants your cash, I reckon. Even if your DS HAD to get used to loud theatre productions - He's 2!!!!! Fucking hell.

Returnofthesmileybar · 18/12/2018 16:40

Tenner says she booked and paid for the tickets for the other friend and now she's backed out she's out of pocket. Her emotional blackmail is purely for her financial gain I guarantee it

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 18/12/2018 16:40

I'm with you, I know so many people who waste their time and lot of money taking young children on #makingmemories experiences and they just scream all the way through it or lose concentration after half an hour. I just don't see the point. You know your child. My eldest is 3.5 and I'm just considering taking her to a panto this year (small local one) I'm still doubtful she will sit through the whole thing

Weepingwillows12 · 18/12/2018 16:41

I am not taking my 2.5 year old, just his older brother because I know he won't sit still or really get it. My niece would have been fine at the same age. Kids are different. Stick to your guns. She's just pissed off that her plan to get some money back for the tickets and be with mates isn't working. She probably wanted a lift too or something similar.

megletthesecond · 18/12/2018 16:41

Yanbu. He's a bit too little to sit through it.

SaucyJack · 18/12/2018 16:42

You know you’re not being U.

She’s just pissed off because she had you down as a convenient buyer for her spare tickets, but you’ve scuppered the plan by daring to have an opinion of your own on it.

Original poster

nomorearsingmermaids · 18/12/2018 16:43

Thank you all. I get anxious I am being rude. I really don't think I was though, I did thank her for asking us.

OP posts:

ChristmasTwatteryDoesMyHeadIn · 18/12/2018 16:44

You’re not being rude, it doesn’t sound much like she was asking, more banking on you being someone she could browbeat into handing over cash!

Kariana · 18/12/2018 16:45

No, of course you aren't. Your child. Your decision. There's no way I'd take my two year old to a pantomime. Everything else aside he just wouldn't sit through it and it would be a huge waste of money. She's just pissed off she's going to have to foot the bill for unused tickets but frankly that's something she should be taking up with the people who dropped out.

Original poster

nomorearsingmermaids · 18/12/2018 16:47

from what I can make out there was some kind of misunderstanding when she booked the original tickets, when the people she was supposed to be going with hadn't confirmed they could do the date she'd booked. so you are right it probably is because she is out of pocket.

OP posts:

ChristmasTwatteryDoesMyHeadIn · 18/12/2018 16:48

She sounds fairly unpleasant OP, is she usually so nasty?

NonaGrey · 18/12/2018 16:48

I received a very grumpy text from her saying that I was mollycoddling him and that he would most likely love it, and that even if he didn't it was something he had to get used to sooner or later.

What she is telling you that the money for the tickets is more important to her than whether you and your son enjoy yourselves.

She’s deeply out of order, I’d be seriously unimpressed. A 2 and a half year does not “need to get used to Pantomime”.

Arrant nonsense!

Original poster

nomorearsingmermaids · 18/12/2018 16:50

She sounds fairly unpleasant OP, is she usually so nasty?

I find her a bit domineering but not usually nasty, no.

OP posts:

kaytee87 · 18/12/2018 16:53

She wants me to pay for them!

jeeso. If I had spare tickets for something and invited a friend, I wouldn't ask for the money!

Ragwort · 18/12/2018 16:53

How rude, she is clearly just wanting your money for the tickets. I don’t blame you at all, personally I loathe pantomimes & just refuse to go but the first (& last) time my DH took our DS to one they left at the interval. My DS was not at all ‘sensitive’ but it was just so inappropriate for a 3 year old.

SparkyBlue · 18/12/2018 16:55

YANBU OP. Every child is different and I wouldn't bring my three year old DS to a panto as he wouldn't enjoy it but his sister at that age would have loved it.

Purplehammer · 18/12/2018 16:57

Fuck that you were only her second choice.
Just someone to to push the tickets onto to save her being out of pocket.
Typical user.

ChristmasTwatteryDoesMyHeadIn · 18/12/2018 16:58

nomorearsingmermaids if I were you I’d try to take a step back from her, if she’s domineering.

DollyWilde · 18/12/2018 16:58

I was secretly hoping someone would have posted ‘YABU’ so I could quote it and reply ‘Oh no she isn’t...!’

DollyWilde · 18/12/2018 16:59

(On a serious note OP, YANBU!)

Original poster

nomorearsingmermaids · 18/12/2018 17:04

ah well, I've just sent her a message. said "I'll think about taking him when he's a bit bigger, thanks again for asking us and hope you can find someone else to take the tickets x"

OP posts:

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