to not take my toddler to the pantomime?

[nomorearsingmermaids]

A friend of mine with 2 DCs aged 6 and 9 has spare tickets to the panto as other people she was going with dropped out and she invited me to come with my DS who is 2.5. I very politely said thanks so much for the kind offer but that I didn't think he would enjoy it - he's pretty sensitive and he really hates crowds and loud noises. I also don't think he would sit still that long to be honest. My mum is a musician so we have been to our fair share of theatre type outings and he has never really enjoyed any of them, I usually have to take him out early.

Anyway now I received a very grumpy text from her saying that I was mollycoddling him and that he would most likely love it, and that even if he didn't it was something he had to get used to sooner or later.

I might consider taking him if he was old but he's 2.5 and I really don't want to shell out ££ for something I am 99% sure he won't enjoy. AIBU?

I work in theatre, too.
Years ago, took my 3 year old step daughter. Started howling as soon as the lights went down.
Agreed to go back in, complete inconsolable terror at the first mention of a giant, straight back out.
Saw the lights go down and about 3 minutes of the action.

What this deranged friend said about eldest children is a little bit accurate, but not because the parent is new and in need of patronising, but because younger children often get dragged to things more suitable to their older siblings, and seeing their child siblings ok with being plunged into darkness or watching a giant makes it ok. Maybe.

As the PP said, look out for the gentle smaller shows aimed at pre-schoolers.

DONT gives her the money. She sounds properly mental

I texted her back saying original woman had already asked me and I'd said no and then she replied saying original woman had asked her specifically to try me?!?!?!

This whole thing is getting completely bizarre. Over some fecking pantomime tickets!!! I'm tempted to bung her 25 quid just to shut her up.

Do I smell another 'Softzilla' on the horizon?

Group message, with new mum and ticket seller. "I'm not sure why you asked xxx to approach me after I told you 6 times that I'm not interested in these tickets, but I'm finding your behaviour strangely aggressive and very bizarre. I've said no and that should have been the end of it. Please don't ask me directly or indirectly again."

DH says she's bananas and I should just ignore anything else about the tickets

She sounds absolutely mad.

I'd be a bit worried about joining any group she ran, tbh.

SheCame you read my mind, Pantozilla!!

OP she's absolutely batshit... think you're doing the right thing ignoring!

The thing that's so weird is that there was no indication she was like this at any point before now. Yes she could be a bit bossy at times but she was always basically normal and nice!!

I'd be a bit worried about joining any group she ran, tbh.

Why? What can she do to someone in the middle of a toddler play group?

Although I fear rabbit's suggested message may be necessary to put a final stop to it all.

SheCame you read my mind, Pantozilla!!

Yep. Nicknames for the main players, people writing responses for the OP, involvement of other people within the wider circle, sudden bat-shittery and aggression where previously all had been well ...

It's a very familiar pattern.

V strange woman. Unbelievable CF.

If you run into her and the pantomime comes up I'd calmly ask her why it appeared she took out her frustrations on you rather than the original friend? See what she says...

And, btw, you're not unreasonable at all. The thought of taking my 2.3 Dd to the pantomime fills me with absolute dread. I've not yet taken my 6ds either

Well I'm just leaving it now regardless. It's all gone way too odd for me.

I took my DS1 for the first time this year and he is 4 and a half- so glad I waited as he loved it and was howling at all the slapstick comedy- there's no way he would have "got it" before now. I don't think you are BU, and plus- the tickets are expensive!!

She'll have a new target by January. Keep going to the play groups.

I don’t think she’s “pushy” or “annoying” I think she’s bullying and harassing. Any reasonable person would be upset by those texts. She obviously thinks little of you and feels relaxed about treating you badly. I would be curt but civil from now on. She is either very unpleasant or mentally ill

Do I smell another 'Softzilla' on the horizon?

I smell something @SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst

I smell something* @SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst*

What an absolute loon she is.

I wouldn't even THINK of taking my 2-and-a-quarter year old to a pantomime. He'd be interested for five minutes, antsy for five minutes and then he'd start ruining it for everyone around him.

My 2 year old would be a NIGHTMARE in a panto!

You've done the right thing OP.

She sounds like she thought you were an easy target for her cash back/company because she didn't want to take her kids alone.

Maybe she's planned a surprise birthday party for you at the pantomime and she really really needs to get you there so the surprise isn't ruined.

Not your birthday??

Then she's fucking batshit.