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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not take my toddler to the pantomime?

196 replies

nomorearsingmermaids · 18/12/2018 16:35

A friend of mine with 2 DCs aged 6 and 9 has spare tickets to the panto as other people she was going with dropped out and she invited me to come with my DS who is 2.5. I very politely said thanks so much for the kind offer but that I didn't think he would enjoy it - he's pretty sensitive and he really hates crowds and loud noises. I also don't think he would sit still that long to be honest. My mum is a musician so we have been to our fair share of theatre type outings and he has never really enjoyed any of them, I usually have to take him out early.

Anyway now I received a very grumpy text from her saying that I was mollycoddling him and that he would most likely love it, and that even if he didn't it was something he had to get used to sooner or later.

I might consider taking him if he was old but he's 2.5 and I really don't want to shell out ££ for something I am 99% sure he won't enjoy. AIBU?

OP posts:
EnglishRose13 · 19/12/2018 11:17

When are you next due to go to the toddler group? Are you going to go? She's mental.

Bobswife39 · 19/12/2018 11:42

Hopefully one of her kids will throw a huge strop during the performance and really embarrass her OP 😂

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 19/12/2018 11:43

Don't go. Panto is awful and I s something that needs to vanish from Christmas.

GlitterStick · 19/12/2018 11:45

Mine both love the pantomime. Not as a two year old though, they'd have been right pains in the bum fidgeting and annoying everyone!
They don't appreciate it at 2.
We went at the age of 4. They loved it.
Yanbu, your friend is being YABU

ApolloandDaphne · 19/12/2018 11:46

God she is pushy! I hope she doesn't give you any more grief.

dinosaurglitterrepublic · 19/12/2018 11:49

I don’t normally bother posting the same thing as the 7 pages of people before me, but this is just so utterly outrageous I can’t help but feel compelled! She is a complete lunatic. What the actual f?! Some people have no shame, she should be so embarrassed.

qazxc · 19/12/2018 11:53

I work in a theatre and to be honest I would not reccommend bringing a child that age to see a panto (our guideline is 4+). Most of them would not enjoy it and it's a long time for a small child to sit through.
She's being a CF trying to foist her unwanted tickets onto you.

JudasPrudy · 19/12/2018 11:59

Lucky escape from her controlling clutches OP Confused

user1494670108 · 19/12/2018 12:03

I took my ds at that age, it was a complete nightmare as he just did not watch it, was up and down the whole time. We took him back aged about 5 and every year since.
I'd keep her blocked and assume she's stressed about Chris or has more going on. You probably won't see her until the groups start in the new year.
She's speaking to you as if you're the one she bought the tickets for!

GlitterStick · 19/12/2018 12:30

Ok, just catching up on the thread. (Really should read it all first lol)
I'm even more YANBU now! WTF is her problem?
I get anxiety, it'd stress me out, I hear you, but FFS how many times do you have to tell her?!
If she can't grasp, you need to be blunt.
Sorry, but I never said I wanted them in the first place.
Nice of you to offer, but I've said no. It's not something he'd enjoy at that age. Hope you find someone else for them but unfortunately it's not me."
Good grief, she sounds a massive PITA.
Trying to make you feel guilty or that he needs to get used to sitting through stuff?
Err, no, not at 2! Completely normal to not want to at that age, and for parents to rather poke their eyes out than suffer any kind of performance with a wriggly whiny toddler (which they usually are sitting through stuff at that age)
Bah. Ignore the silly mare.

SparkyBlue · 19/12/2018 12:57

OP she sounds a bit unhinged. Her behavior is definitely not normal. Please don't allow her unreasonable behavior to cause you any stress .

Di11y · 19/12/2018 13:24

just tell her you've not budgeted for the panto and you're disappointed she won't take no thanks for an answer.

Engorged · 19/12/2018 13:40

She sounds like a bully. Good that you blocked her. If anyone ( and I'm guessing she is the type to bitch about you and lie) says how disappointed she was at being let down or something to that effect- correct them.

Tell them that she offered you the ticket after being let down and you refused right away. and that she is a bullying cunt

MaudesMum · 19/12/2018 13:43

I used to be a Front of House Manager in a theatre, and there were always people who bought tiny children, said that they'd be fine, and ended up with them in tears, refusing to go back in. There are age limits on panto for a reason - it can be very scary for small children (lots of noise, bright lights and music, a big space with masses of people of shouting etc etc). Many theatres do productions, often in smaller spaces, for under 3s or 5s, which are much less frightening, and I'd always suggest parents take children to them first.

Original poster
nomorearsingmermaids · 19/12/2018 16:12

Thanks all. I saw her in sainsbury's this morning (see!!!) and hid. Thankfully toddler group doesn't start back until next year. Really don't want to stop going - DS loves them.

OP posts:
BoswellandForshort · 19/12/2018 16:14

Please don’t stop going. Hold your head high and remember you’ve done nothing wrong. Don’t let her bully you into staying at home

Yura · 19/12/2018 16:56

just for background: i haven’t taken my almost 6 year old yet. he hates noise and crowds. he’s been to other shows and likes it, but pantomime - no chance!

blackteaplease · 19/12/2018 17:06

Jeez your friend is a bully. You are not being pfb at all. My dc start going to the panto at 4. There's no way I'd take a 2 year old, too long, too noisy and potentially too scary.

Hopefully this will blow over by new year but if not just go to toddlers and hold your head high.

MirandaGoshawk · 19/12/2018 17:20

You know that YANBU. Ignore. She must have some other friend victim she could ask. If not, it's the problem of the person who let her down in the first place. Pin on a huge smile when you see her in the New Year. If you need to explain again, explain again. Some people need it repeating a few times before they get it.

WhatsUpHun · 19/12/2018 17:59

Wow!

Original poster
nomorearsingmermaids · 19/12/2018 18:10

Haha one of the other women I know who goes to this group (who I didn't even realise had my number!) has just texted me saying "X has got some spare pantomime tickets, do you want to take DS? I think she's letting them go for £25."

OP posts:
AnotherEmma · 19/12/2018 18:12
Confused

Screenshot the conversation you already had with batshit friend and send it to this woman?!

GraduationDilemma · 19/12/2018 18:18

YANBU. You know his limits. My 11 year old only really coped with auditoriums and darkened theatres after the age of about 8 so it'll come but no sense forcing the issue. Also 2.5 is way too young to understand wtf is going on. Panros are long. Our theatre specifies 3+ for panto anyway due to pyros. My son would have been hysterical at that age.

SheCameFromGreeceSheHadaThirst · 19/12/2018 18:24

Thankfully toddler group doesn't start back until next year. Really don't want to stop going - DS loves them.

What can she do in a group, though, even if she runs it? If she's a twat to you it'll he obvious to everyone there - and she's clearly hawking these tickets all over town, so you're probably not the only group member she's pulled this stunt with

Original poster
nomorearsingmermaids · 19/12/2018 18:32

I texted her back saying original woman had already asked me and I'd said no and then she replied saying original woman had asked her specifically to try me?!?!?!

This whole thing is getting completely bizarre. Over some fecking pantomime tickets!!! I'm tempted to bung her 25 quid just to shut her up.

OP posts:
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