to not take my toddler to the pantomime?

[nomorearsingmermaids]

A friend of mine with 2 DCs aged 6 and 9 has spare tickets to the panto as other people she was going with dropped out and she invited me to come with my DS who is 2.5. I very politely said thanks so much for the kind offer but that I didn't think he would enjoy it - he's pretty sensitive and he really hates crowds and loud noises. I also don't think he would sit still that long to be honest. My mum is a musician so we have been to our fair share of theatre type outings and he has never really enjoyed any of them, I usually have to take him out early.

Anyway now I received a very grumpy text from her saying that I was mollycoddling him and that he would most likely love it, and that even if he didn't it was something he had to get used to sooner or later.

I might consider taking him if he was old but he's 2.5 and I really don't want to shell out ££ for something I am 99% sure he won't enjoy. AIBU?

Poor you! Totally unbelievable behaviour by your 'friend'! Could you suggest she tries the Box Office, maybe they would buy them back if they have people still wanting tickets? So awkward for you! My sympathies. And for what it's worth, I wouldn't be keen to take my 3.9 YO either!

She's nuts! I would ignore now.

As an aside I work in a theatre and I wouldn't personally take a toddler to the panto. So many people end up missing it because they have to bring their child out. Some bits can be too loud or scary for young children and they are usually recommended for 3 and up.

Everyone else at the school gate will think she’s deranged too OP, don’t worry about that!

Pretty much agree with everyone else. She’s desperate to recoup some money. Your ds is 2.5! It’s normal for him not to want to sit in one place for that long, her train of thought is complete nonsense she’s just trying to make you feel bad. My dd is 4 and enjoyed her first pantomime this year but def wouldn’t have wasted my money when she was any younger.

I'd be pretty short with someone who spoke to me like that.

ffs

"Just expected more of you. Bit disappointed. Have a nice Christmas"

I am totally second guessing myself now but I really don't think I have done anything to warrant this

You haven’t, at all. She’s a horror.

I’m so angry on your behalf. I’d love to to tell her to fuck off, but I wouldn’t have the nerve.

Don’t give her the satisfaction of a reply

Oh ok you have done nothing at all. She's shown herself up to be an unkind user. Ignore her. You've got 100% support here

*op

I am at that level of bullying, entitled cheeky fuckery!

I hope Santa brings you some nice new friends for Christmas OP.

I’d take a massive step back from this friendship. She thinks she can walk all over you.

CF is strong with this one!

She's whining not because she 'expected more of you' but because she expected you to be a doormat.

Block her messages now and don't engage further. Whatever friendship you had is well and truly over.

Listen. She's a bonafide cockend. Ignore her texts, know that o my you know what's best for your little one and that she's just feeling like a twat for trying and failing to strong-arm two families into going with her!

Sucks to be her. Fucking idiot.

Wow! I took our almost 6 and 8 year old to the theatre (matinee but proper production) last weekend.

Youngest was a total fidget (often is) and was scared in parts. You know your child best and 2.5 is very young.

This isn't cheeky-fuckery, this is bullying.

She is awful. Doesn't sound as if she was ever a true friend. She is certainly no longer any kind of friend now!

Ignore from now on, don't contact her, don't respond if she contacts you, don't engage, don't meet up.

I took my 4yr old this Yr after deliberately not taking him last yr with his older siblings. It was a disaster, the panto is so very loud that he hated it from the moment it started and was shaking with fear.... I ended up having to getting him collected!!!

She’s just annoyed she has to go by herself. It sounds as if your wain would hate it and nobody (including no doubt the folk sat near you) would get the most from the experience.

Just send back, "Ditto."

You’ve done nothing wrong at all. She’s a twat and trying to manipulate you into buying the tickets off her. I can’t believe how shameless she is. You’ve got nothing to worry about- she’s the one showing herself up.

This isn't cheeky-fuckery, this is bullying.

^This

Block her number and find other toddler groups.

And meant very kindly OP, you do need to find a way to boost your self esteem. That last text made you question yourself. It made all of us furious on your behalf. You need to figure out why you feel bad about not pleasing someone who is being so disrespectful to you.

You are worth far more than this.

Oh no you shouldn't!

Oh and also well done on not giving in to her ridiculousness. I hope that doesn’t sound patronising but I know it can be difficult and you said earlier she was domineering. I think she expected you to be a doormat but you’ve just shown her how strong you are.

Trying to shame you into giving in by making you feel like a lousy first-time mum is utterly devoid of humanity as well. So what if you are paranoid? Aren't we all?

Urgh. I'd like to tell her to fuck off for you!