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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not take my toddler to the pantomime?

196 replies

nomorearsingmermaids · 18/12/2018 16:35

A friend of mine with 2 DCs aged 6 and 9 has spare tickets to the panto as other people she was going with dropped out and she invited me to come with my DS who is 2.5. I very politely said thanks so much for the kind offer but that I didn't think he would enjoy it - he's pretty sensitive and he really hates crowds and loud noises. I also don't think he would sit still that long to be honest. My mum is a musician so we have been to our fair share of theatre type outings and he has never really enjoyed any of them, I usually have to take him out early.

Anyway now I received a very grumpy text from her saying that I was mollycoddling him and that he would most likely love it, and that even if he didn't it was something he had to get used to sooner or later.

I might consider taking him if he was old but he's 2.5 and I really don't want to shell out ££ for something I am 99% sure he won't enjoy. AIBU?

OP posts:
Cornettoninja · 18/12/2018 17:09

Why the fuck exactly does anyone have to get used to the theatre? What a wally.

Based on what you know about your son you are absolutely right to decline that invitation. My dd (now 3) has regularly gone to age appropriate shows since about 18 months but even I decided against a pantomime this year.

Kintan · 18/12/2018 17:11

Hopefully that will be the end of it. She just wanted your money and didn't care if you/your son would enjoy it. What a twerp.

Original poster
nomorearsingmermaids · 18/12/2018 17:16

her reply "it's going to be a massive hassle to find anyone else now tbh"

OP posts:
NancyDonahue · 18/12/2018 17:18

We didn't take ours to theatre or cinema until school age and even then it was hard to keep them happy for 2 hours. A 2 year old wouldn't have a clue what was going on!

She's being a cf and wants your money.

tashac89 · 18/12/2018 17:19

'That has to suck that you were let down. Oh well, you know for next time!'
Muppet.

NancyDonahue · 18/12/2018 17:19

Omg at her reply!!

SaucyJack · 18/12/2018 17:25

“On what fucking planet is that my problem, exactly?”

Pushy cow!

Bobswife39 · 18/12/2018 17:28

Depends on the child, but in my opinion 2.5 is too young, pantomimes can be quite scary, we went with a 4yo who was in tears cuddled up on my lap xx

Clickncollect · 18/12/2018 17:29

No way would I take my 2 and a half year old - zero chance of him sitting still and a stressful time for all involved. No thanks!
She clearly is grumpy at being out of pocket and thinks it’s ok to talk to you like that when you’ve done nothing wrong. Another no thanks!

jellybeanteaparty · 18/12/2018 17:30

You said no when she asked you. She tried to change your mind. You have confirmed your original decision. You have no reason to have any responsibility for her issue. I would be tempted to you do not appreciate her continued pressure to take the tickets as you have said no.

DollyWilde · 18/12/2018 17:49

“I don’t know why you assumed I’d take the tickets, I said no from the beginning and I’m not the person who pulled out on you. Hope you find someone else.”

Original poster
nomorearsingmermaids · 18/12/2018 17:58

I sent a reply saying sorry but I never agreed to go in the first place and I don't think DS would enjoy it and she's just replied with

"I know what it's like when you have your first and you're paranoid over every little thing but you do have to try to just go with the flow. Kids surprise you with what they can do."

Feeling really uncomfortable now tbh

OP posts:
ChristmasTwatteryDoesMyHeadIn · 18/12/2018 17:59

nomorearsingmermaids she’s horrible, you don’t deserve any of the judgemental crappy comments she’s thrown at you. Is stepping back ending the friendship an option for you?

NewPapaGuinea · 18/12/2018 18:00

How much are the tickets? I’d offer £10 for the two and say you’ll chance it, but if I need to leave early I haven’t wasted too much.

Dimsumlosesum · 18/12/2018 18:01

I used to get this a lot with my very difficult son when he was younger "he needs to get used to it sooner or later". Hated it

Cherrysherbet · 18/12/2018 18:02

He’s too young. It wouldn’t be nice for him, and it would be a nightmare for you. I’d tell her no.

Dimsumlosesum · 18/12/2018 18:03

"I know what it's like when you have your first and you're paranoid over every little thing but you do have to try to just go with the flow. Kids surprise you with what they can do."

Yeah, my mum and SIL used to try and pull this one. Then they saw how much, and how LOUDLY, he would scream and scream and scream in a coffee shop.They never tried to tell me how I should parent him again, lol.

kaytee87 · 18/12/2018 18:03

God she's so pushy.

Just reply, I'm not wasting money on something we won't enjoy and will likely have to leave early. Nothing to do with paranoia.

Then limit contact. She's a pain in the arse.

NancyDonahue · 18/12/2018 18:05

What a patronising cow. Don't reply to that, op. Ignore ignore ignore.

BoswellandForshort · 18/12/2018 18:06

I wouldn’t even bother replying to that last one. Jesus Christ

EssentialHummus · 18/12/2018 18:06

She’s being incredibly pushy! This is not even slightly your problem.

tashac89 · 18/12/2018 18:06

If I even bothered to reply to that it would just be 'I've said no' and leave it at that.

Original poster
nomorearsingmermaids · 18/12/2018 18:13

I've not even replied and she's already sent me another message saying "I need to know if you're going to take these tickets ASAP."

I feel like I'm being pestered by an MLM rep!!!

Really bloody awkward to fall out with her over this as she runs both the toddler groups I take my DS to (which he loves) and she only lives in the next street so I bump into her all the time in the park, at sainsbury's, on the train etc

OP posts:
ChristmasTwatteryDoesMyHeadIn · 18/12/2018 18:15

What a horrible position she’s put you in OP.

“I’ve already said I won’t take the tickets, and explained why. You’ve been very rude and also deliberately hurtful, which was unnecessary.” would be my response.

Ragwort · 18/12/2018 18:16

I can't believe her rudeness Shock - assuming you didn't take three weeks to get back to her after her 'invitation' you have done absolutely nothing wrong. Just ignore her and do NOT let her make you feel uncomfortable, if she hasn't got any other friends to ask (and I can see why, if she is so rude) then that's her problem.