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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not take my toddler to the pantomime?

196 replies

nomorearsingmermaids · 18/12/2018 16:35

A friend of mine with 2 DCs aged 6 and 9 has spare tickets to the panto as other people she was going with dropped out and she invited me to come with my DS who is 2.5. I very politely said thanks so much for the kind offer but that I didn't think he would enjoy it - he's pretty sensitive and he really hates crowds and loud noises. I also don't think he would sit still that long to be honest. My mum is a musician so we have been to our fair share of theatre type outings and he has never really enjoyed any of them, I usually have to take him out early.

Anyway now I received a very grumpy text from her saying that I was mollycoddling him and that he would most likely love it, and that even if he didn't it was something he had to get used to sooner or later.

I might consider taking him if he was old but he's 2.5 and I really don't want to shell out ££ for something I am 99% sure he won't enjoy. AIBU?

OP posts:
MummaGiles · 18/12/2018 19:18

I wouldn’t take a 2.5 year old to a full panto. They don’t have the attention span at that age. I’m taking DS this year for the first time and he’s just about to turn 4.

Kintan · 18/12/2018 19:20

Just message back 'how can you be disappointed that I'm not coming to something I never agreed to go to. Plus you said you'd asked everyone else so we were obviously your last choice'

Original poster
nomorearsingmermaids · 18/12/2018 19:28

Turned my phone off now as was really feeling anxious over it all. I hate conflict.

Will just be a nightmare now. I bump into her all the time.

OP posts:
BoswellandForshort · 18/12/2018 19:31

Just be polite but distant next time you bump into her. Nod, say hello and walk past. Then you won’t have to deal with her but she can’t say you were rude.

NancyDonahue · 18/12/2018 19:34

Op you have to be strong and not let her affect you. That's how bullies work. If you bump into her, be polite but say you are in a rush so don't have time to chat. Remember SHE is is the wrong here. She's the one who should be worried about bumping into you.

Pinkruler · 18/12/2018 19:37

4 and over is a good age for pantos - fact.

IncomingCannonFire · 18/12/2018 19:41

That last message didn't even really make sense in the context of the conversation.
I'd assume she's sending them by mistake and ignore. With a wtf Confused face.

kalinkafoxtrot45 · 18/12/2018 19:45

What a bitch! I’d be keeping my distance from her from now on. A mighty distance.

Lovewinemorethanhusband · 18/12/2018 19:51

I took my very outgoing and loud nearly 3year old last December to the pantomime she was petrified during most of it ! At one point she screamed and hid herself in my scarf and she desperately wanted to go to it was so excited about it and it was Peter Pan which she loves also.

Sparklesocks · 18/12/2018 20:32

Sorry you had to deal with her OP, but I think you handled it well.

RedLife · 18/12/2018 20:51

I wonder if she gave her mate who pulled out such a hard time?

Original poster
nomorearsingmermaids · 18/12/2018 22:26

I switched my phone on and there's another fcking message from her. I haven't read it.

OP posts:
NancyDonahue · 18/12/2018 22:30

Maybe it's an apology?

I like to think the best of everyone (not normally like this, I've had baileys)

Bestwestpest · 18/12/2018 22:31

Shock Hopefully it's one to apologise, but I doubt it! She's no friend. I'd be tempted to block here if I were you, you've done absolutely nothing wrong. I'm annoyed for you!

JudasPrudy · 18/12/2018 22:31

Ok what does it say. We need to put firmly but politely a stop to this conversation.

Chloe84 · 18/12/2018 22:37

She has some brass cojones!

cadburyegg · 18/12/2018 22:38

YANBU I wouldn't have taken my son at that age, he would never have sat through it. He's nearly 4 now and may tolerate it, but I still don't think he would sit through the whole thing.

2isabella2 · 18/12/2018 22:38

She's so rude! Mine enjoyed it at that age but totally aware a lot don't and you don't need a reason to politely decline (as you did) anyway. Especially as she's not offering you a freebie!

SaucyJack · 18/12/2018 22:46

“I wonder if she gave her mate who pulled out such a hard time?”

I’m inclined to wonder whether the first mate ever realised they were “in” in the first place, going by her personality.

Frazzled2207 · 18/12/2018 22:47

Yanbu. My now 5 year old would have probably enjoyed at that age, though he's never been any good at sitting still.
However my youngest is now 3.5 and just doesn't like anything like that. Cries and perhaps can be persuaded to tolerate but definitely not enjoy.
You know your child.

YetAnotherThing · 18/12/2018 22:48

If you check theatre website, likely to state recommended lower age, which is usually 6 up

Frazzled2207 · 18/12/2018 22:49

Btw she is really rude

winteryslippers · 18/12/2018 22:54

Oh my... What an overreaction on her part!!

What did the latest text say?

WithAllIntenseAndPurposes · 18/12/2018 23:28

I would have to phone her and say wtf is your problem are you unstable?
But I am quite confrontational

erykahb · 19/12/2018 05:56

It baffles me that people don't stand up for themselves, even if you aren't confrontational- not hard to just say 'No thanks, I'm not telling you again'

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