To have asked relatives to contribute to food

[Whyohwhyo]

This year for Christmas day it'll just be me, dp and ds. We wanted a low key day just the three of us as its DS first Christmas.

Neither of us have a tremendous amount of contact with our respective families but two of my relatives live fairly close by.

DP said if they wanted to then they're welcome to come round on Christmas eve if they were going to be alone and can have a pre Christmas meal with us if they like, spend a bit of time with DS and have a catch up.

We're on a tight budget at the moment as saving and preparing for DD1s arrival early next year and also a deposit. We budgeted for Christmas down to a tee. DP didn't fancy paying for two loads of meats (theirs on Christmas eve as well as ours on Christmas day) plus drinks and everything else twice all on him - so he asked whether they'd mind picking up a small joint of whatever they wanted and bringing it with them. For reference aldi/lidl do meats plenty big enough for 4 for under a tenner, so they're looking at £5 each maximum. A chicken from there is a few quid. They could have bought bloody sausages if they wanted to.

We'd be providing everything else, trimmings, alcohol, nibbles etc.

Relative 1 (my DM) said absolutely fine no problem she's looking forward to coming and that she'll relay that to relative 2 who's my aunt.

My DM calls me back a while later and says she spoke to my aunt (who was previously looking forward to coming) and said she got huffy and said "well that's a bit much to ask isn't it?"

Is it? Were we being unreasonable? Her response has got my back up a bit and I'm not sure whether I have the right to be annoyed.

Aunt is much better off than we are, a lot more disposable money and no children or high outgoings, so I don't think chipping in a fiver maximum would have hurt? The dinner was optional by the way, they'd have been welcome to come for drinks and snacks regardless.

You did live with her for 16 years though. I’ve just read your whole tread and I must say, your aunt sounds like nightmare and your a better person than me because she wouldn’t have been getting an invite, if I was in your shoes! I know you said your mother won’t come if your aunt doesn’t, but I don’t think my principals are the same as yours. You are a very forgiving person, if it was me I would have made her pay for dinner and then throwen it over her!😂 hope the meal goes well and you never know, she might apologize!🙂

Whether you are saving for something or not is irrelevant. What if the Queen called in? Would you say, "No, Ma'am, no cup of tea for you because you're richer than I am " ?

If you were being called on to provide the whole shebang of a Christmas feast then contributions would be most welcome and of course offered by the guests, but someone dropping by for Christmas Eve and being asked for "meat" ? Good heavens. As others have said, you can feed you all for under a fiver.

I hear that you don't get on with your aunt, but that's Christmas! And you're not having her sat there potentially spoiling all of Christmas Day. It's a couple of hours when surely you can manage to sling a bowl of pasta someone's way.