Worst insult from your partner?

[moumoute]

Not sure that thread will survive

In the past my dp would shout why can't you be more like my ex. She would've never done this. Also called me disgusting often, something about that word really hurts me.

“Why don’t you crawl back into the hole you were in when met you, you fat cunt”

FWIW I wasn’t in a “hole” when I met him. I had my own flat in London, worked two jobs AND studied. I was doing great. All went downhill when I met him.

Oh and I wasn’t fat either. Unless size 10/12 is fat.

Not insulting, but major foot-in-mouth. I asked why people would go into childcare for the under threes. We have a 6 month old and I am currently on mat leave.

His response: Well, it's easy, isn't it?

Later assured me he meant to say rewarding.

"You're very pretty for a black woman" 🙄

Whoops, sorry. Just read the whole thread and realised the direction it's heading. The first few posts made it seem light-hearted and I went with that.

No actual insults to report.

These are really sad. My dh has never insulted me. He's never even said anything to hurt my feelings. At least, nothing I can remember so obviously nothing too bad. Yes he annoys me sometimes and yes I feel he doesn't do his share of housework or whatever but he would never speak to me in the ways I've read up thread.

So if you're wondering if every relationship is verbally unkind / abusive - it's not. You don't deserve to live with those awful comments

my DH is the most mild person ever so I dont think he meant this as it came out but we were talking about the past and things we used to do and he said "yes but back then you were fun, it was before the kids"

‘You’re a disgrace’ from a man I had seen all of twice, who wanted me to declare monogamy to him and was being very pushy about it.

Woah, this is horrifying. Dh has never insulted me, nor I him. It's totally unacceptable.

"I'm sick of living with this shitpile". He came home from work and, yes, there was mess from me trying to single handedly run the home with 2 babies under 18months (not twins). By single handedly, I mean, all the washing, all the cooking, all the cleaning, plus 90% of the childrearing including doing all bedtimes and night wakings with a breast fed baby who didn't sleep through until nearly 2 years old.

That was years ago and I've not done his washing since - that frees up time for me to tidy up after the kids.

I have experienced both side of the coin. ExH was horrendously insulting (and abusive). Everytime we disagreed, the insults would flow. They were designed to be hurtful, designed to sting and designed to win the argument. That was the crux for him, win at all costs. He would say after the argument "but it was in the middle of a row, so it doesn't count. I didn't mean it".

But that's not how life works. You can win an argument by battering someone down so badly they submit, but it is a terrible strategy for a long-term relationship.

My partner now doesn't need to win. And has never insulted me. We are able to discuss disagreements and both of us are able to admit we were wrong without being humiliated or defeated. Sometimes we are just wrong. And then we move on without the need for a victory celebration.

These are so awful to read. What is wrong with so many men?

Love and strength to all the posters who have gone through this. Thank God so many have LTBs and here’s to all those still putting up with it to do likewise.

Can’t believe what I put up with from my ex. My DH builds me up all the time and I do the same for him. It’s what everyone deserves.

Blackness78 that’s truly disgusting and obviously just plain wrong! Hope you ran for the hills.

Oh I LTB. .... It's been really difficult but to borrow a weight loss metaphor: leaving is hard, staying is hard; Choose your hard

Yes, a bit trite but gets to the crux of the matter.

Wow, the thread is going strong on insults. I'm ok thanks for this asking. I had many many fights since having a baby and my partner uses bad words so "I can feel the pain he feels" (I quote him)

This is so sad. I have a gentle and lovely dh and think I'm going to go and give him a big hug. He's looking after the kids and I'm in the bath (drinking wine).

Not the worst but XH called me an adulterous fuckwit via text last Christmas. I was in bed with lovely DP at the time and it made us both laugh. It was six months after the divorce but he was having problems coming to terms with it

You're with him now @moumoute?

Deeply saddened by the awful shit thats been doled out by actually totally shit men, to women, but awesome to hear how many moved on from it!!! Yes!

It really puts into perspective some of my previous insults suffering, realising how bad it is when its put down in a thread like this.

Oh you're ok moumoute?

Just agreeing too that yes, its totally his fault, and not because of who you are or what you've done (like some blaming women for staying, or putting up with it, horrible blaming judgements instead of just saying what an abusive twunt he is), and how hard it is to leave.

It really shows the stark difference between abusive relationships and non where it can be hard to believe that two people have spent their lives respecting each other and never insulting each other! Reasonable,non-abusive people.

Calling people stupid,ridiculous, that they spout nonsense, is all abusive. When you've been in abuse one can end up using the same frame of reference to operate.

My partner has never insulted me even once, and he never would. Just like I would never insult him. People dont do this to other people they love.

Erm. Wracks brain. He agreed with me that making gravy not my strong point. That’s literally the worst thing he’s said.

My ex was an abusive toad. I recalled a very minor incident in our relationship the other day. It was his turn to sort dinner and he said he was ordering Chinese what did I want so I gave him my order and waited for delivery. It turned up and he told me he hadn't ordered any for me because I was fat and needed to lose weight. At the time I was around 8st and 5ft6; he was over 21st and 6ft4. My Mum was appalled.

Other gems from him included that I'm stupid, useless and ugly. He even downloaded Tinder while in bed with me "to find someone better". He was baffled when I left him. We have two Sons together the oldest is 5 and my DP said "don't be so stupid" in a jokey way. DS1 piped up "don't speak to Mummy like that" so thankfully I'm raising their Dad out of them :)

Dh has never insulted me. The nearest he got was when I was moaning (again) about how much weight I’ve put on and he said that I was gorgeous but maybe I’d be better not putting on much more.

We were watching "a very british country house" and there was a man in a mobility scooter attending a wedding. A few minutes later (probably an hour or so in real time), a drunk woman sailed past in the background on the scooter, cackling to herself.

"That's you at every wedding" says DH. It's true.

BetaCarotene What’s true? That you would get drunk or you’d take someone’s scooter?