Worst insult from your partner?

[moumoute]

Not sure that thread will survive

Apparently I was worse than AIDS.

"You have shit taste in music"

"You have a shit tablet"

"Your arse is taking up too much of the bed"

All very lighthearted, any serious insults would surely lead to relationship breakdown, I'm very disheartened and saddened at some of your posts.

@HestiaParthenos I get what you're saying but it's a bit more complicated than that. We are married and live together so I can't really just meet up with him in a public place and dump him. I can't just leave either we jointly own the house and there is nowhere to go. He has never actually been physically violent either. He has many good qualities as well but yes has said a lot of things that hurt me. It's a lot more complicated in real life than just LTB as is advised on here.

Another ex called me an anorexic cock sucker. Loudly. At the entrance to a big supermarket on contact day with our 4 month old son (while ex stank of alcohol). I asked a member of staff to call the police.

Oh near I'm sorry you feel you can't leave him. I would worry that someone could say something so violent and not be violent.

These are terrible. So sorry to those posters who have been abused and insulted and I hope you’re able to LTB when you can.
Another one here whose DH has never ever insulted me. I hope I haven’t to him either.

One ex told me that he sometimes looked at me and knew that he deserved better. He was constantly commenting on my looks and making me feel unattractive. Oddly enough, ten years later I ran into him and he then spent the next few days messaging me asking me to go on a date with him. Errrrr, no!

Another ex would regularly call me a cunt or a bitch. He was a very verbally and mentally abusive person. He was another one who wanted me back after we'd separated. He swung between sending me messages/voicemails confessing his undying love and abusive ones calling me a cunt.

My dh, who I have been with for 14 years, has never once insulted me. He's lovely and kind and understanding, and he makes me feel loved and attractive even when I look and feel horrendous. He would never do or say anything to deliberately hurt my feelings or upset me. I feel very thankful to have met him, and even more so when I read threads like this and hear what some of you poor women have to put up with from your partners. It's very sad.

He has many good qualities as well but yes has said a lot of things that hurt me. It's a lot more complicated in real life than just LTB as is advised on here.

Would you still drink your cup of tea if it had a teaspoon of shit in it? After all, a cup of tea does have some good qualities, it's not ALL shit.

Do you think that many of those of us who advise to LTB don't know it's complicated? That we've never been through it ourselves? Of course we have! I remember thinking I couldn't really complain, because most of the time, he was just aggressive, and he sometimes slapped or pushed me, and "only" punched me a couple of times. Other women ended up in hospital, or dead, so it wasn't that bad really.
That thinking was really fucked up, but eventually, I realised I didn't have to put up with it, and I left him. And no, of course it wasn't easy, but my life was a damn sight better afterwards.

You can also leave, and you should leave. You should speak to Women's Aid. He may not have physically hurt you yet, but if he's threatening it, then he's thinking about it, and he's likely to become violent.

@moumoute OP, where are you?

Fucker.
Lazy.
Selfish.
Aggressive.
Abusive.
Bitch.
Liar.
Nasty.
Repulsive.

Interspersed with

Amazing.
Beautiful.
Sexy.
Etc etc.

We are in the middle of the divorce sent from the depths of hell by Beelzebub himself. And it was me who ended it. Funnily enough, until this happened, the word cunt never passed my lips. Now it trips off my tongue with amazing regularity (when referring to him).

The cunt.

Reading some of these are so, so sad.

I'm adding in my comment of DP (of 5 years) has never insulted me, for those who question if being insulted is usual. He always lifts me, tells me how amazing I am when I'm having a shit time, and always makes me feel loved and cared for.

Shootingstar20 me and DP have never argued. But I think that's to do with our personality types, we always talk everything out even though we have differing opinions on lots of subjects. I realise in another 25 years that might be different. Some people I know argue and it seems to work for them. Individuals and couples communicate in different ways, as long as both are happy and loved that's what matters.

My dh has never insulted me to the point I've been hurt,
we take the piss out of each other all the time, I call him old man...he is 5 years older than me, he calls me a silly cow when I've done something particularly stupid. Today for instance I head butted the coffee table picking something up off the floor. His silly cow was quickly followed by come here
Are you ok love, sit down ill get that you

it's always laughing and joking together never with malice and usually followed up with something really nice or a hug or kiss and and i love you
In 7 years we've had one argument we always sit and talk through things .

He said the meals I made were dull, uninspired, boring and bland like me. Many comments like this.

I'm proud of being a really good cook. I have occasionally burnt food when distracted (for example - when ex refused to keep on eye on our daughter so I had to deal with her bath time whilst cooking dinner).

My ex has improved but was a lousy cook. Crap 'experimental', over seasoned, under-cooked, burnt, or dry food interspersed with occasional edible food.

Many people want me to bake cakes etc for them. I'm asked to help with food for various events.

Yet my skills as a cook are the ones he consistently targeted. He used to struggle with ready meals!

If people have partners that insult them , they need to make them exes.

The insults start off as jokes though. They progressively get worse over time and you get used to them and stop recognising how horrible and damaging they are.

Wow the fact that so many posters are saying that their partner has never insulted them is making me question everything. Is this really true..

Yes, I promise you, it is really really true. Been with my fiancé for three years and I have never once been insulted by him. Ever.

My ex, on the other hand, insulted me on a daily basis. Hard to say what the worst was... maybe the time he yelled ‘you’re just not sexy’ at me in the middle of sex, and said ‘can’t you just not be... you?’

It’s very very sad when the chief redeeming thing someone has to say about their partner is ‘he isn’t physically violent’. But of course we all know ‘LTB’ isn’t as simple as just snapping your fingers.

I know you can’t simply up and leave, but you can start telling yourself that there are other options for you and you don’t have to be in a unhappy relationship. Just keep that in mind and maybe one day you might feel differently about leaving.

But with 40 years of marriage it really isn't as simple as LTB. If most of the time they have been lovely, and just a couple of times been truly obnoxious it is very confusing.

I feel sad that all the years of being lovely can be wiped out in a few seconds of being cruel, even if they are sorry afterwards. But that's what can happen, and logically it doesn't make sense to uproot entire lives and families because of my hurt feelings and inability to put very rare cruel comments into some sort of box that belongs in the past of a long and happy relationship. (was happy and would still be happy if I could get over it...)

My ex said I wasn't a proper woman because I couldn't give birth. I'd had an EMCS with DS because I was so ill with pre eclampsia they were worried my organs were failing.

@shootingstar20 I get what you’re saying.

We sometimes have flaming rows. I was raised in a household where ‘communication’ meant saying exactly how you felt (e.g. upset, angry, disappointed) loudly, and at the moment you were feeling it. I realise now that it’s not constructive to communicate like that, but I didn’t realise that for a long time. It sounds silly but nobody actually teaches you ‘right, this is how you communicate’. When you get ‘triggered’ you actually regress to the patterns laid down in childhood, so my natural instinct is to scream and shout because that’s what I was taught by my environment. I now consciously try to step back and communicate effectively, to talk things through ahead of them becoming an issue, to tackle things in a neutral non-accusatory way etc But I’m not perfect and neither is my partner and yes, sometimes we scream at each other. It doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with the relationship, it just means we’re still learning how to do better. I know for certain that I would never be able to have a relationship where there are no blazing rows because I know that I for one am not controlled enough to ensure that, despite my best efforts. The same goes for my partner - so we row, but we make up again, talk it through and discuss ways to improve. That’s how our relationship works.

Those people who don’t argue - that’s wonderful and I’m very envious!! For me it’s just not feasible, but we’re very happy regardless.

I always feel I am a bit sensitive to insults they are definitely there in a "I hate my life" making you feel shit seems to make me feel better, he has had the most horrendous time last year but my ex was so aggressive I walk away rather than over react.

Wow the fact that so many posters are saying that their partner has never insulted them is making me question everything. Is this really true

I have never been insulted by any boyfriend or my late DH.

Threads like this are the reason I've chosen to be single for the last six years. My ex was emotionally abusive. You genuinely can be happy alone, far happier than with someone who's cruel to you- even just some of the time. I hope at some point in the future I meet someone nice, but my standards are so high now because I'll never accept this kind of bullshit again

A lot of these are awful and I'm not excusing them but I find all these 'oh Dh has never insulted me' unhealthy as well. I can't think of a single person I've had a close relationship with who hasn't insulted me in some way and likwise who I haven't insulted. Usually unintentionally during a conversation that hits an unknown sore spot, a badly explained opinion or with a ill thought out joke. But that's why we have conflict resolution skills. The only way I can picture going an entire relationship without insulting somebody in some way would be walking on egg shells around them all the time or only having mundane, superficial conversations.

Not my partner but a guy I've had two dates with. He spent 2 hours telling me how uninteresting I am. Tonight.

Twatty, I'm with you.