to be annoyed that dh will not let me have the gorgeous Mercedes car that is parked outside our house?

[oliveoil]

He claims it is for a client!

Client my arse, where are his priorities fgs, I have given him 2 children had my stomach slashed and my nethers stitched and what thanks do I get?

Do you think divorce is too harsh or just separate for a while?

TIA

[Hulababy]

I actually quite like the idea of being a kept woman for a bit. Willing to give it a try anyway, just to see if it really is as bad as Xenia describes. A worthy MN experiment I think, reckon DH will go for it?!

[binkleandflip]

I can say, with some certainty and for the most part, it definately isnt as bad as Xenia describes.

[Hulababy]

We had one of these. Was when DD was a baby. Had to get rid of it in the end as it was so impractical with a child - she was either freezing or burning in the back with the roof down.

I used to drive it more than DH, as I had firtehr to go for work - he had the little Smart back then Oh it went down so well in the school car park with the pupils! It was lovely! Have sensible cars now

[Nightynight]

muppetgirl, can only speak for myself but my views on this were formed during the years that I did support my ex...a bit of give and take is important, I feel, not one partner sponging off the other the whole time. (def not implying that OO sponges off her dh, btw.)

[Judy1234]

Obviously a bit of good and take - he's made redunant you work 50 hour weeks, you are he does or gets second job. Of course in a long marriage you do those things but being a housewife in general is not that much fun and having someone else who buys things for you presumably if you've been nice to him is a strange sort of situation to be in. I think it doesn't suit most women.

Interesting that there was a case on inheritance tax schemes and the tax man said the money was really the man who had earned it and the 30 years his wife had cooked, cleaned, gone to bed with him and minded his children didn't count in deciding half the value of their joint assets were hers. They say it's not yours when it suits them for tax purposes but not otherwise.

[purplemonkeydishwasher]

listen xenia.

everyone is different.

I like being at home. my husband likes going to work. not all of us could make 250k+ and frankly i don't see the point in me going out make £6/hr so i'm not a 'kept' woman!


ANYWHO!!

My MIL has that merc and loves it. she had the older version before and this one is infinitely better. has a bit of a blind spot though.

[muppetgirl]

Where did i say i worked 50 hr weeks?
(When he was redundant and we had no children)
He currently does a 13-14hr day, is his work not valued just because he's a man?
Or is it just that he gets paid that has you so offended...

[Judy1234]

Yes, but there was such sexism implied into the principle that a man buys your car, in 2007. It's an amazing concept when these days so few women are housewives kept by men.

[muppetgirl]

Sorry to be completely thick here but if i am sahm and don't work at all
how the hell am i supposed to buy ANY car?

Of course he's going to have buy (I prefer to think of it as providing as he's not just buying it for me)a car for me to use.

Get real xenia, i chose to raise my children myself and not work so, therfore, i don't earn.

In our family we play to our strengths
dh is very good at what he does and enjoys work. I was a teacher who was very jaded and I was more than happy to be a sahm.
I supported him when he needed me and now he's doing the same. When our children are raised i will go back to work.

[muppetgirl]

....or is it just the fact that you don't like husbands buying their wives EXPENSIVE cars?

[Judy1234]

I don't even have a man although may be that's a blessing in disguise. I've never been in a position where anyone bought me anything. I'm not sure how psychologically I could cope with it but people differ.

[muppetgirl]

I could go down the route of -you not having a man not surprising me but I was extremly independent before i met my husband.
Lived with friends, paid my own way and yes, i bought my own car. But things change and i now have a family to think of and whilst i still hold my principles very high the welfare and happiness of my family come first. If that means i stay at home then that is the way it is which then translates to my dh earning the wage and paying the bills as, let's face it, someone HAS to earn the money.

I think you need to remember that feminists fought to free downtrodden women forced into situations they didn't want or weren't asked about. They fought to give women the CHOICE. I chose my family after discussion, consultation and mutual respect from my husband taking into account my feelings and goals for my own life.

Please, please, please TRY not to assume all sahm's are dontrodden, unhappy and forced into their situations as aren't you then just applying a reverse pyschology to the men in assuming all women are stupid and can't be treated as intelligent human beings?

[Anna8888]

Xenia - has it ever occurred to you that the whole point of marriage is economies of scale?

[ComeOVeneer]

Oh dear lord.... Is there any topic on this board where you can't put your 2pence worth re sahms Xenia? It has become the most tiresome aspect of MN to me these days

[mozhe]

What the hell does that mean Anna....?

[Kewcumber]

pmsl and roflmao at the turn this thread has taken. Really, I'm having to wipe the tears away - am I the only one with such a bizarre sense of humour?

[Judy1234]

Amazed any of you feel comfortable that men buy things for you too. People just differ I suppose but stay at home mothers are very rare these days. 4 in 5 women work and a goodly number earn more than their men. it is those who are housewives who are the historical anarchonism on which the rest of us stare in wonder as if we were in a museum showing exhibits from 1880.

[Anna8888]

Mozhe - where exactly do you require a clarification?

[speedymama]

I am ROFLMHO hysterically. This was a lighted-hearted amusing thread.

[Anna8888]

Xenia - no, SAHMs are not an anachronism.

Even in France, which has the highest % of working women in Europe (and hence probably in the developed world) and the second highest birthrate, 69% of children are cared for solely by family members, principally mothers, in their first year of life.

The historical anomaly is WOHMs for babies.

[Kewcumber]

Speedymama you and I can sit and giggle in the corner together then. I am WOHM is that OK?

[Nbg]

Xenia, when your dh buys you something do you demand he takes it back or throw it out?

I personally consider myself very lucky that I havent had to work for the last 4 years and that dh has provided for us all.

[nearlythere]

pmsl, anyone want a cuppa?