To exclude one child (out of 21)? Christmas cards at nursery

[QwertyLou]

To be clear, I don’t want to leave this little lad out (nor does DS - they’re good mates) but we have to, due to his parents’ request.

So it’s more of a “how do I handle this?”

I wasn’t going to worry about Christmas cards this year (we did them last year - one for each child in his room).

But today I ended up cutting up cardboard, setting up paints, stamps etc and helped him make cards... He’s been home sick - quite lethargic, but well enough to need occupying.

We now have 21 Christmas cards, lovingly handcrafted and ready to go!

Only now do I remember about this little lad. And wish I thought of something else to keep DS occupied!

Last year, DS loved handing out the cards and the kids were excited to get them. After they all ran off, one of the Mums said “Sorry - we don’t celebrate Christmas” and handed her son’s card back to me (very politely and privately).

I think I said “Oh sorry!” or something inane, and tucked the card into my handbag. It was slightly awkward but all very polite, I soon forgot all about it.

Anyway - a year later, I’ve used it as a teaching moment and explained to my son about different religions and customs.

(my Mum did the same for me, I’d chosen the “Hail Mary” and she said matter-of-factly “oh some of the girls are Protestant and they don’t pray to Mary, choose another prayer!”

My son is fine with the religion discussion but says “Billy” “will be sad if I give a card to everyone but not to him!”

If Billy was a confident, bolshie little boy it would be easier. But he seems a very sensitive little soul. He was overjoyed to be invited to my son’s birthday party because he doesn’t tend to get invited to things often.

I once watched a little girl handing out invites and Billy was beaming, waiting for his. And when he didn’t get one his face... just crumpled and his eyes filled with tears. I just wanted to pick him up and give him the biggest cuddle!

TL;DR - how should my son hand out 20 cards without being mean to the one child he can not give one to?

Are there any non-Christmas celebrators who would be comfortable saying what you would want done?

PS. If I’d remembered earlier, I would have got him to make cards for people outside nursery.

PPS. They don’t have book bags.

How about a happy new year card for the little boy?

Just put happy holidays on it instead and explain to his mum.

My daughter has a friend who is a Jehovah's witness, she just did a happy school holiday card, thanks for being my friend type card cause she still wanted to do something.

Could you just make a card that says 'thank you for being my friend' or similar. Maybe you better write ' not a Christmas card' on the envelope girl mun's benefit. I was thinking the boy's family must be JW but they don't do birthdays either so perhaps not.

Yeah just give him a'happy winter' card or something. Tell his mum before so she doesn't hand it back.

Yeah I'd make a different card and say to Mom, it isn't a Christmas card it just a card saying have a lovely winter break from school.

YY, just make a card that says 'Thank you for being my friend'.

Great minds Neverunderfed.

Could Your son not give him a different card instead? along the lines of "thank you for being an awesome friend". That way he still gets a card and hopefully his mum won't disapprove. I work in a Reception class and have always had at least one child who doesn't celebrate Christmas, we have always involved them by allowing them to make other things alongside their friends. So there are ways around it.

Although are they say Hindu so don't celebrate Christmas but celebrate other things or Mormon and thus might not celebrate stuff like that at all? A picture of the two of them, drawn by your son, to say see you in 2019??

Oh and at birthday time, invite him for a separate 'play date'

Just right happy holidays on a non overly Christmas oriented card, or do a handmade one!!

I used to work with a woman who was a Jehovah's witness. She always said if you really feel you must get her a card don't get her a Christmas one. Maybe your son could make him a thank you for being my friend card or something similar?

I was also going to suggest another message. Even something like ‘hope you have fun in the holidays’

Ask the nursery why they don't have a post box Luke every other nursery
The children put the cards in the box and dont have to hand them out, thus avoiding any sort of awkwardness

Agree with PPs, give him a non-Christmas card (thanks for being a friend / have a great new year )

Last year the cards said “Seasons greetings” and had (I think) a snowman on it. I wasn’t sure what religions people were (if any) so picked quite generic cards.

The 'Thank you for being my friend' idea is really cute and he sounds like the kind of child who would really appreciate it!

We get new year cards from the French stationery shop and use them. They are usually very cute!

Happy holidays card. This thread has made me sad for poor billy. I had jw in my class and they were always sitting out of assemblies. Hope schools have changed.

Could your son draw a nice picture and put it in a envelope? Explain to his mum first. I would avoid the card idea all together and send a nice picture of an invite to come play. It must be so hard for the little boy :(

I’ve had children in my nurseries before who are Jehovahs Witness, we just did ‘winter wonderland’ themed craft at Christmas time and for his “Christmas” card we did an ‘I love you’ card for his family so something possibly along those lines like PP have suggested ‘Thank you for being my friend’ is a good one.

I grew up with JW mum. I was never allowed to friends birthday parties, Christmas parties etc and it was upsetting to see friends planning parties, talking about the fun they'd had, giving out Christmas and birthday cards to each other. I wasn't allowed to take part in school concerts or even sing Christmas songs. Some of my friends still gave me Christmas cards and I had to hide them in my school bag, then throw them away somewhere where my mum wouldn't find them (usually in school bins in the new year).

Please try to find some solution for this little boy. Remember at his age the religion is his parents choice, not his and he is missing out because of this. That's how I felt.

I like the idea of giving him a thank you card or something similar. Then if his mum says something to you again, you can explain that it's not a Christmas card anyway.

If it’s the card itself, even though you did pick genric snowman season greeting type thing then how about your son draws him a picture and puts that in a card envelope?

I’d go thank you for being my friend, that sounds lovely. Poor billy!