To exclude one child (out of 21)? Christmas cards at nursery

[QwertyLou]

To be clear, I don’t want to leave this little lad out (nor does DS - they’re good mates) but we have to, due to his parents’ request.

So it’s more of a “how do I handle this?”

I wasn’t going to worry about Christmas cards this year (we did them last year - one for each child in his room).

But today I ended up cutting up cardboard, setting up paints, stamps etc and helped him make cards... He’s been home sick - quite lethargic, but well enough to need occupying.

We now have 21 Christmas cards, lovingly handcrafted and ready to go!

Only now do I remember about this little lad. And wish I thought of something else to keep DS occupied!

Last year, DS loved handing out the cards and the kids were excited to get them. After they all ran off, one of the Mums said “Sorry - we don’t celebrate Christmas” and handed her son’s card back to me (very politely and privately).

I think I said “Oh sorry!” or something inane, and tucked the card into my handbag. It was slightly awkward but all very polite, I soon forgot all about it.

Anyway - a year later, I’ve used it as a teaching moment and explained to my son about different religions and customs.

(my Mum did the same for me, I’d chosen the “Hail Mary” and she said matter-of-factly “oh some of the girls are Protestant and they don’t pray to Mary, choose another prayer!”

My son is fine with the religion discussion but says “Billy” “will be sad if I give a card to everyone but not to him!”

If Billy was a confident, bolshie little boy it would be easier. But he seems a very sensitive little soul. He was overjoyed to be invited to my son’s birthday party because he doesn’t tend to get invited to things often.

I once watched a little girl handing out invites and Billy was beaming, waiting for his. And when he didn’t get one his face... just crumpled and his eyes filled with tears. I just wanted to pick him up and give him the biggest cuddle!

TL;DR - how should my son hand out 20 cards without being mean to the one child he can not give one to?

Are there any non-Christmas celebrators who would be comfortable saying what you would want done?

PS. If I’d remembered earlier, I would have got him to make cards for people outside nursery.

PPS. They don’t have book bags.

Brilliantly handled, Qwerty ... it's a lovely picture and one of God's creatures too, which surely can't offend anyone

That really was a wonderful idea, @QwertyLou the two boys are happy and that's all that matters.

What a lovely card, so glad the boy was not left out. The visual image of his disappointed face the time when he was excluded was so sad, it near broke my heart. What a happy resolution.

This thread has been really interesting to read. So much information in the discussion which was new to me. My grandfather was PB, but a eie the trenches when my dad was a baby I was not well-informed about them at all. We do have - or had - a community near us and i occasionally see a mother and son from there in the high street.

As someone in the boys shoes 35 years ago, Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!!!!

This is what my son gave instead of a card - both boys were thrilled so I'm really happy.

I'm pleased for the little boy (sorry that should be )

Out of interest, how was his mum with it? Did you put it in an envelope?

I was conscious of what @KeepOnKeepingOnAgainandAgain , @Molakai and others said - that any card or other thing might be seen as a "Christmas card by stealth."

So I forced myself to get over my (entirely self-created) awkwardness and check with Billy's mum instead of getting stuck in a ridiculous stress ball (a bad habit of mine... I'm working on it)!

She said her son would love an animal picture so that's what we did. I actually found a website with JW greeting cards and scenes from nature featured heavily, also @CaveMum and others suggested it.

I was a bit embarrassed to come back to the thread but if the mum who had to "crouch down" in the climbing frame could come back, then so can I!

I know I don't know this little boy well at all - for all I know his tears at missing out before might have been gone 2 mins later and he was fine (like my own son's "tears" when I said "no more ice cream" last night - I was entirely unmoved by those!)

But I had a sibling who was quite badly affected by this kind of thing so I would rather err on the side of caution.

@KittensAndChristmasCake no envelope!

also re-posting this in case helpful to anyone:

• no written greetings
• scenes from nature - no people depicted

... and I have now trimmed my son's fingernails

Sorry last one - apologies for saying “unmarried mother” which someone (privately and kindly!) let me know has not been used in the English language for 40 years and possibly carries a slightly derogatory tone - not my intention at all! Just a translation-failure - sorry it came out wrong

I think it's lovely that you put so much thought in to ensure that the little boy didn't feel left out. Merry Christmas!

Thanks for the update, well done for going to all that effort to help the little boy feel included 👍