To think someone will judge her? (Traveller)

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My DH is 'half' traveller (gypsy) his mum was a full gypsy and his dad isn't one at all, so he was brought up as a 'traveller' but luckily he has both worlds so took the good from each and became a really great man ANYWAY, AIBU to think that people will judge our DD if they was to be told her dad is from a gypsy community?

He doesn't have any involvement with that side of his family now or his mum & dad but obvs he has taken a lot away from his upbringing and has certain 'ways' in life. all of our friends know his back ground, they don't judge us because they know him but I'm worried when she starts school next year people will judge our DD I also feel it will be worse for her than for our DS....

They may, although more likely to be at secondary school than primary. I don't know why it would come up though if your DH has nothing to do with that life any more.

So don't tell them?

I suppose it depends what ‘ways’ he has taken away, and what this means for your daughter.

Depends if your DD is going to be befriending bigots or not. I’d encourage her to be proud of her heritage not hide it.

@EmUntitled we have friends who have DC at the school, people spread things and talk in the playground so I was just wondering I guess in case it happened

Don’t tell people? I hardly think it’ll just come up, as a pp says, now that your DH has distanced himself from that way of life.

Sorry I misread your post! I see what you’re asking now. To be honest, yes some people will be arseholes and judge but you’ll just need to ensure your DD knows not to pay any mind to it. The type of person who is narrow minded enough to judge someone based on a traveller background will always find something to judge about.

There are a number of people in our childrens' school withtravelling backgrounds and I've never heard anything about it from the kids. I don't know that it's be an issue and to be honest I don't know where it would come up-in the same way people don't need to know where my DS' parents are from or what we do why is it a thing to know your business? Saying that it's not something to hide and I think it'll make your child think it's something to be ashamed of if you make a huge deal of it. I know I have no history with the discrimination you're worried about though

I don't think it would need to come up, but I suspect it may cause issues although that will depend on the area you are in. If you live somewhere that has had problems with travellers then you'll find the local attitude to them to be poorer.

It is so hard to respond to you all because I know what I write will get a lot of backlash ! But thank you all for taking your time to reply, I think Iv realised now we just live in a bitchy area 😩

How would they know ?

It depends on the type of people they are. I personally would not, the travelling community have a strong heritage. Lots of culture. I have grown up in an area that has lots of families from the travelling community. Yes there are stereotypes and harsh judgement to some.
Both of my DC have traveller DC in their class. The school do culture weeks and have had a mammy come in to tell them about their culture, other than that my DC wouldn't know or think any different.

I agree it depends massively on the area, and what's gone on there lately. For example, if you live near St Scary Cray in London, now wouldn't be a good time for traveller pride revelations.

ways?

Yeah DH moved away for that reason.... @Rattinghat

I dont think most kids woild even care.

Def put it down on school records though, then they have to give you extra leniency for taking kids out in termtime

Anyone who judges a small child isn't worth losing any sleep over.

Forgot to add. You or your DD shouldn't hide it, teach her resilience and pride in her background. I think it is great.
I remember watching Into the west as a kid a film made in Dublin about a travelling family. I wanted to be one and have their power

You sound ashamed

I don't know how anybody would know, not that it's something to be afraid of.
Nobody has ever spoken to me about travelling if they don't know who I am.
Those that know are few and they have no reason to judge me for being Romany.
If somebody does judge it shows their ignorance and wouldn't be somebody I'd want to associate with anyway.

I am not way ashamed 😂 if I was I wouldn't have had children with him !! But at the same time I don't want people not inviting her to party's etc because of her background ! She will be brought up as a 'traveller' and so will DS, but for some reason men aren't really looked at badly in this community. She will be different to some children but I guess the same as some with 'strict' parents...

@RomanyRoots that's very true, thanks nice to get some advice of someone who's experienced it...

@Branleuse I don't think that's how it works 😂 Iv always just put white British for everything tbh!

She will be brought up as a 'traveller' and so will DS

I thought you said he’d left the lifestyle behind?
Also if he’s ‘half’ traveller and you’re not from a traveller background, why will she be brought up as a traveller?

@SoyDora I said he doesn't have any involvement with that side of the family, he can't change how he was brought up, but he also would never do any of the awful things that he had done to him, like I said he took the good from both sides.