To think someone will judge her? (Traveller)

[namechange120]

My DH is 'half' traveller (gypsy) his mum was a full gypsy and his dad isn't one at all, so he was brought up as a 'traveller' but luckily he has both worlds so took the good from each and became a really great man ANYWAY, AIBU to think that people will judge our DD if they was to be told her dad is from a gypsy community?

He doesn't have any involvement with that side of his family now or his mum & dad but obvs he has taken a lot away from his upbringing and has certain 'ways' in life. all of our friends know his back ground, they don't judge us because they know him but I'm worried when she starts school next year people will judge our DD I also feel it will be worse for her than for our DS....

She won't be allowed out on her own when she's young, she will have to go with family same for DS. 16 is adult to him and then she's a 'woman for herself' but she wouldn't get back in the house if she got pregnant young

So the way she's going to be brought up a traveller is to have all the worst, most misogynistic elements of some traveller communities' culture imposed on her? Yes, I would definitely judge, but it's you and her father I'd be judging, not her. Poor bairn.

I think it's unlikely your children would be judged at school but she wouldn't get back in the house if she got pregnant young has me judging you and your DH already.

😂😂😂😂

Well it's good to know most people would let there children go to town at 12 alone and welcome them home with open arms if they got pregnant at 13/14

keka the hantels divvy

No one is saying they would welcome them with open arms. But no one is also saying, bar you, that they would not be welcome back in their house.

This thread worries me.

It's not other people you need to worry about OP, it's the attitudes of you and your DH. Your poor children.

Yes I would let them go in to town alone at 12. Maybe letting have that bit more freedom means they're LESS likely to get pregnant at 13.

So if your DD got pregnant at 13 you’d throw her out?! That is terrible parenting, no matter the circumstances in which the pregnancy happened

I'd be bloody worried and possibly very cross (depending on the circumstances) but I would support dd 100% without question.

OP, I mean this with the best intention.
Unless your dd is established into the travelling community please don't raise her as such.
I am similar to your dh but it stopped with me. I don't want my dd to grow up anything like the female members of my family, I couldn't do it to her.
She is having a good education and looking forward to a career. The thought of her being raised to have kids, be married at 16, and be subservient to men is just not what I had planned for her when I first held her nearly 15 years ago.

Who said anything about going to town at 12. Even local if the girls are going to one of their houses in the area for a movie, she is not allowed to go, or walk the local shop, only hang outside her garden, usually watching the younger ones. These are all fairly innocent 10 to 12 year old girls doing normal things, no wild behaviour yet

Well it's good to know most people would let there children go to town at 12 alone and welcome them home with open arms if they got pregnant at 13/14

I’d support my daughter in whatever way necessary if she was pregnant young. What’s the alternative, see them on the street?

So where would you expect a pregnant 13 year old to go?

What’s your DH’s view on education for females?

Jesus Christ, I'm judging you, yes. You seem quite unfit to parent a teenager.

Sorry crosspost 're town.

She won't be allowed out on her own when she's young, she will have to go with family same for DS. 16 is adult to him and then she's a 'woman for herself' but she wouldn't get back in the house if she got pregnant young

Horrible attitude, IMO. And nothing to do with being a traveller or anything else. Just plain old misogyny and control issues. I've met plenty of non-travellers with attitudes like that about girls too.

I used to go to town at 12 and would expect to let my daughter do the same. Your parenting ideas sound a bit odd, traveller influenced or otherwise.

Well it's good to know most people would let there children go to town at 12 alone and welcome them home with open arms if they got pregnant at 13/14

a) 12's a perfectly normal age to go to town on your own
b) I would be upset and deeply worried if my daughter were pregnant at 13 or 14, but you bet your arse she'd be at home with me being supported and protected, especially if the father turned out to be older.

So yes. Like other PP I wouldn't be judging your daughter. I'd be judging you for choosing to impose the worst most misogynistic and repressive aspects of your daughter's heritage on her.

@RomanyRoots she will be having an education, we want her to get an amazing career that she loves, but no she won't be going out on her own to town at 12 years old. Don't think people know about knife crime and sexual predators on Mumsnet.

I wouldn’t welcome a pregnant 13 year old with open arms but I wouldn’t kick my child out of their home either.

I agree with @ZackPizzazz

Going to town at 12 is normal, to mooch around the shops with her friends, not clubbing.

If a 13 year old gets pregnant she has been abused, whatever the age of the man involved. She needs support from family and professionals, not to be blamed and thrown out.

Will your daughter be leaving education at 14 or younger?

@namechange120 so do you or your husband never leave the house alone either? If knife crime is so prevalent.

I live near a major city but I don't recall any knife crimes in Starbucks during the lunch rush.
And yes, we do have sexual predators and they target girls and boys alike so i think i would prefer to give some safety tips to the kids rather than lock them up.