To think someone will judge her? (Traveller)

[namechange120]

My DH is 'half' traveller (gypsy) his mum was a full gypsy and his dad isn't one at all, so he was brought up as a 'traveller' but luckily he has both worlds so took the good from each and became a really great man ANYWAY, AIBU to think that people will judge our DD if they was to be told her dad is from a gypsy community?

He doesn't have any involvement with that side of his family now or his mum & dad but obvs he has taken a lot away from his upbringing and has certain 'ways' in life. all of our friends know his back ground, they don't judge us because they know him but I'm worried when she starts school next year people will judge our DD I also feel it will be worse for her than for our DS....

Again it depends on your area. There are 3 girls in DS preschool and no one judges any of them. They will all be invited to his birthday, most of the other children are foreign so I doubt their parents even know a traveller background.
They're just kids like all the others.

Are you happy for them to be brought up as travellers? Despite it not being your background?

I had a good friend at uni who was from a 'gypsy' background. She got a first. She was great! She wasn't ashamed of her upbringing and your DH shouldn't be either. Why 'distance' himself? Fair enough, if he doesn't get on with family, but otherwise it seems odd. Why should your daughter be ashamed of her dads background? Maybe she could educate her friends and teachers?

@FlorenceSpotter I'd LOVE to be able to tell everyone why he left but it's way to outing he loves the gypsy community just not the people that were in his family the bad things they did and he didn't want to marry a gypsy woman.

@SoyDora I'm happy with how my DH wants my DC to be yes, all he asks for them is to respect us, respect people who respect them and to RESPECT them self being the biggest thing.

Ah ok. They’re not things exclusive to travellers though are they?

dont they see grandparents/aunties etc from your DP family then or just yours?

@SoyDora like what ?

I mean respect for yourself and others isn’t exclusive to travellers. I teach my children that too, and we dont have a traveller background.

@whatsthestory123 aunts uncle 3 cousins on his side that's it, few friends here that are travellers but now family. We don't really see much of my family tbh

I have a hunch that when you said 'strict', you actually mean she'll be a lot more restricted simply because she's a girl, particularly as you won't give any examples on MN as you know you'll be flamed.

For example she won't be able to go without a male chaperone etc- so yes, you might be judged for the inherent misogyny.

@namechange120. My friend told me this as her kids have romany heritage. It means you dont get fined

I'm highly confused. Travellers are not gypsy's and don't describe themselves as such, so I'm confused why you do.

I'm also confused as to how they are going to be "raised Traveller" if they are living in a non Traveller area.

There is a lot about this post that is confusing.

In what way will they be brought up as traveller children?

I think it will very much depend on what 'traveller ways' they are being brought up with. I doubt most kids will care, but some of the mean kids might latch on to her as 'different'. It depends on how obvious her 'traveller ways' are. Parents are likely to be wary. Travellers don't get good press.

I think people are confused as to how she will be brought up as a traveller?
You live in a static house? she goes to mainstream education?
The TV programmes obviously mostly show the big wedding dresses and girls being married off very young to be housewives etc - correct me if I'm wrong but if you're not in touch with the community then presumably she won't be doing the big communion parties and going to family events?

I dont even understand this question to be honest, the OH is half gypsy, and the child is not being brought up in the lifestyle

How does it even mean it is her background?

I mean my Dad is Italian, but I have never visited Italy and there are people I have known for years that i have never told my Dads heritage to

Most girls who are brought up as travellers have very strict rules about dating, school, getting married etc is that what you mean by bringing her up as a traveller girl? Do you live in a settled community?

I am struggling to see what would differentiate the way you are bringing her up compared to the way other children in her class will be raised. What would the main differences be?

I have friends who are settled travellers all nice and very family centred.

Dd always invited the girls with travelling backgrounds to her parties but they never came.

I am sure most parents will be fine, there will always be a few with prejudices same as there are travelling people with prejudices against settled people.

I think if she owns her background and heritage then she will be fine. If she is proud of who she is then people will interested to learn more about her traditions and culture.

I mean I dont class myself as half italian - as it is not a country I have visited (unfortunately)so dont feel I claim my Dads heritage as my own in that sense

Well quite Airey mu Dads Irish i have been to Ireland once and not to the town where he lived untill he 11 other tjan my Irish Maiden name i cant say i identify as Irish.

We have a traveller family at our school. They live in a static not far from us. They are the most down to earth normal people you'd ever meet. You'd never even know they were travellers. No one judges, in fact the mum jokes that she is a gypsy all the time. Please don't worry about it, and if people judge stuff them! X

I think the people who judge her will tend to be the ignorant and poorly educated, if that's any help.
My head of department when I was lecturing at university was of Traveller origins. He didn't hide it at all (the opposite in fact) and no-one who worked with him ever thought of it as anything other than interesting in a good way.

My DH is an English gypsy not Irish, so we're not catholic. She won't be allowed out on her own when she's young, she will have to go with family same for DS. 16 is adult to him and then she's a 'woman for herself' but she wouldn't get back in the house if she got pregnant young

We live in an area that's had a lot of problems with travellers so you (the parents) would be judged more than your child. My children weren't even aware of travellers/gypsies until they we moved here (they were in junior school) and don't bat an eyelid at JW children not doing birthdays or Muslim children not doing Xmas. You will have to warn your kids about people's preconceptions about travellers but this is an opportunity for them to learn the truth.