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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my 10 year old DS take a mental health day off school

271 replies

Oopupsideyourhead · 30/11/2018 10:35

10 year old DS has had several emotional meltdowns this week - he’s overwhelmed by school and very with out with year 6- I think he’s feeling the pressure.
I let him take a day off today- he’s in bed upstairs with a cup of tea looking much happier.
It’s his first day off since sept so was I being unreasonable to let him stay home? I feel guilty in terms of it being an important year but he really needed it Confused

OP posts:
Original poster
Oopupsideyourhead · 30/11/2018 10:36

*very worn out with year 6

OP posts:
CaptainKirksSpookyghost · 30/11/2018 10:37

Duck and cover.
Hard hats at the ready!

stopeatingthatpls · 30/11/2018 10:37

No, absolutely not. He needed it. His mental health and being happy is just as important as his school work!

Oblomov18 · 30/11/2018 10:41

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AnotherPidgey · 30/11/2018 10:42

He'll do better at school next week for a duvet day and long weekend that flogging on and burning out.

There's been loads of bugs at school this week and lots of worn-down children fending them off. Winter is begining to hit and they've not got the fun stuff to keep them going yet.

Hillarious · 30/11/2018 10:42

Tricky one. How will he feel going back on Monday? Need to be careful this isn't the thin edge of the wedge.

Original poster
Oopupsideyourhead · 30/11/2018 10:44

@oblomov i’ve reported you as I don’t need to be called names especially when I am trying to deal with a kid that’s been a wreck all week

OP posts:
recklessruby · 30/11/2018 10:44

Yanbu. Kids need time to recharge too and this is a really long term.
What are we doing to 10 year olds these days that they are feeling so much pressure? Poor kid

Sickoffamilydrama · 30/11/2018 10:45

We need to take Mental health more seriously as a society, It is the cause of so many problems from drug addiction, Crime to the lower level things like unproductive work days/ illness.

That being said I'm suprised a ten year old has so much stress in his life he needs a destressing day. I would use this day to help your son manage his mental health better boys/men are socialised not to express their emotions and surpress them, you need to help him manage them better.

I have had to take a step back recently and cancelled a few work things but that is because I have literally a million stressful things going on and was about to break, it's worrying that you child is experiencing this already.

PenelopeFlintstone · 30/11/2018 10:45

Yanbu

Original poster
Oopupsideyourhead · 30/11/2018 10:46

@hillarious I think he’ll be fine - i’ve never done it before - he normally loves school - he’s just been very upset this week.

OP posts:
colouringinpro · 30/11/2018 10:46

Definitely The right decision OP.

Hisaishi · 30/11/2018 10:47

Is it going to help things get better long-term?

That's how I tend to look at it.

TBH, I don't think it's a great lesson for kids. Sadly, the world doesn't stop because we feel bad and I do think there's a good lesson to be learned from just getting on with it. Not to say you need to squash down your feelings, definitely not, but as an adult, you tend to need to just get on with it.

If he's that bad, I'd say some therapy/counselling/getting to the root of the problem is better.

I had a shit time at school and I was constantly off because I felt bad. As an adult, I struggled to hold down a job because I'd take days off if I felt anxious etc. These days I just get on with it and I feel much better all round, have had the same job for years etc.

TripTrapTripTrapOverTheBridge · 30/11/2018 10:47

He gets 2 days off starting from tomorrow. YABU

Blanchedupetitpois · 30/11/2018 10:47

You would let him take a day off for a physical illness, so why should this be different?

If he continues to struggle I would seek help, but in the meantime I think you’ve done the right thing.

Original poster
Oopupsideyourhead · 30/11/2018 10:47

@reckless I know- he’s feeling the relentless SATS practising every week

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SexNotJenga · 30/11/2018 10:47

What is he upset about?

Samcro · 30/11/2018 10:47

yanbu
he will feel so much better. I doubt one day at this time of year will make any difference.

saoirse31 · 30/11/2018 10:48

Definitely the right thing. His education isn't going to fail because hes had a duvet day...

AdobeWanKenobi · 30/11/2018 10:48

It’s his first day off since sept

Did he not have a half term week?

Original poster
Oopupsideyourhead · 30/11/2018 10:49

Do kids have big hormone surges at 10 too? I did wonder if it was that too- he’s a sensitive soul but just in the last few months it’s been worse. His attendance is normally very good - like 99%

OP posts:
Hisaishi · 30/11/2018 10:49

oop but the sats are meaningless for him.

If he's stressed, that's 100% on the teacher/school. You NEED to complain and not let them get the kids stressed. It has no bearing on your son's future so why should he be the one getting stressed?

ltk · 30/11/2018 10:50

Good idea to let him have a day off. Even if it makes Monday tougher, he will know that you listen to him and support him and that it's ok to talk about things being stressful and sad, which is even better for his mh than the day off.

Hermagsjesty · 30/11/2018 10:51

I think you did the right thing. I think it’s a really good life lesson that you need to take time out to look after yourself. Mental health is important as physical health.

MILHouse · 30/11/2018 10:51

Meh. Good for you taking care of your son’s mental wellbeing.

If it makes you feel better, my kids are having Monday off to go to the indoor ski dome with us (quite a journey away). It’s too busy at the weekends and I place a high priority on fun, relaxed family time.