My summary: Flame me- whatever! I’m just trying to help!
The getting DSD to sch is an issue for op, don't dispute that but I think looking at this as a whole it's a symptom and not the cause. The poster has posted many threads under various usernames over the last 5 weeks, all diff topics. That's fine,when help is needed ask and protect your identity if that works best for you. However, it has led to us all giving advice to specific topics and not knowing pic as a whole. In every single thread the OP has made it clear that while her DP may be a little stubborn, he is not abusive and is a good man and father. Each time the OP's thread descends into he's controlling and LTB etc,she leaves the thread. As appears to be the case here. We don't know,we are not there. Only OP knows and we, for now, have to trust her judgement & support her.
Earlier in this very thread, the op stated herself that she does not know the number for the HV. This is concerning as it means that all other advice given in prev threads imploring OP to get help has not happened.
Reading between the lines,the poster has a new baby, regrettably has no friends of family near her or any experienced female lead around her and just like the rest of us has found having a new baby a complete shock. OP has had to find her own way & her DP seems to be unaware at present. That doesn’t make him a
bad man, it just means that he has no idea! If OP has not communicated this to him , and posted on MN instead, how is he supposed to know? Has he given birth- no, is he breastfeeding- no, is he sore downstairs - no. Are his hormones all over the place- no. Is he bleeding- no. He has no idea! It’s not his fault he’s a man ( no offence men but you can’t birth and shiz).
My thoughts at this stage are that OP, like all of us when we have a new baby, is slightly shell shocked for want of a better phrase. I was and there is a big physical, emotional and mental change. It’s a shock and it takes time to adjust. Not always easy this adjustment. There is no shame in that. Perhaps her DP doesn’t quite understand the physical & emotional changes that have occurred. Perhaps his first wife sailed thru this stage so he thinks all mothers adapt on delivery. We don’t know! I personally was all over the place but my friends had babies & it was like shelling peas and they took to it like a duck to water, I didn’t! Every mother is different and deals with motherhood in their own way. Again, I personally found it a huge shock to the system at first. I had no idea, no experience, no guidance in the early weeks. Men don’t often get this as they ultimately don’t experience it. Doesn’t make them bad men, makes them genetically men and not have to go through this. Makes them ignorant to some things. Perhaps OP has wanted to show her DH that she has got this covered and the honest communication is not there.
My view is that in this case appts and honest conversations with GP and HV, together with DP would be hugely beneficial to OP at this point as a starting point to moving forward in her new beautiful family
dynamic. The OP has said herself that she feels blue at times and it's ok to feel that. It’s normal and she needs to reach out for help. If OP
and DP address this together they can hopefully work through it and their son and DP’s daughter can have a wonderful little unit there.
I understand my views may be u popular but it looks to me as though OP is going through a slight, normal period of adjustment and any help the GP and HV can provide will be both helpful and beneficial.